Babysitter Questions to Ask Parents
Twenty questions to run through with parents before they leave, covering names and ages, allergies and medicine, the bedtime routine, house rules and screens, who to call and when, what to do after the children are asleep, and how pay works.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What are the children's names and ages, and what does each of them like to be called?
Why ask it
Using the name a child actually answers to settles the first ten minutes faster than anything else you can do. Ages also tell you what you can reasonably expect them to do for themselves.
What time are you leaving, and when do you expect to be back?
Why ask it
Fixing this before they go avoids the awkward conversation later about hours and pay. It also lets you plan the evening backwards from bedtime rather than guessing.
What is the best number to reach you on, and who is the backup if I cannot?
Why ask it
Phones get left in coats and cinemas have no signal, so one number is not a plan. Ask for a neighbour or relative who is nearby and can arrive quickly if needed.
Are there any allergies, and is there medicine I might need to give: what dose, and when?
Why ask it
Write the answer down rather than trusting memory, including the time of the last dose, because parents often give something on the way out and forget to say. If an adrenaline auto-injector or inhaler is in the house, ask to be shown where it is and how it is used.
What is the plan for dinner, and what can they have as a snack?
Why ask it
A specific answer prevents the negotiation where a child insists they are always allowed biscuits. It also stops you offering something that clashes with an allergy or a rule you were not told about.
What is the bedtime routine, step by step?
Why ask it
The order matters more than the timing, because children notice a missing step and use it as grounds for delay. Ask for the actual sequence: bath, teeth, two books, lamp off, door left ajar.
What do you do if one of them will not stay in bed?
Why ask it
Every household has a method, and using a different one turns a ten-minute settle into an hour. Ask how many returns they normally tolerate before it becomes a firmer no.
What are the rules on screens tonight: what, how long, and where?
Why ask it
The three parts are separate rules and children will exploit any one you leave undefined. Knowing whether devices are allowed upstairs is the detail most often missed.
Which rooms, cupboards or outside spaces are off limits?
Why ask it
Home offices, garages, tool cupboards and anything with water need naming before you need them. It is easier to enforce a boundary you were given than one you decide on halfway through the evening.
How do you handle it when they push back, and what is your line on time-outs or losing a privilege?
Why ask it
Consistency is what keeps the evening calm, and children test whether the sitter's rules match their parents'. Ask for the phrase the parents use, since the words carry the authority as much as the rule does.
What tends to upset them, and what settles them once it starts?
Why ask it
Parents can usually name the trigger and the fix in one sentence, and both are hard to work out under pressure. Loud noises, a particular sibling dynamic and being rushed are the common ones.
Is there a comfort item they need at bedtime, and where is it kept?
Why ask it
A missing toy or blanket can turn a straightforward bedtime into a long search with a distressed child. Ask whether there is a spare and where it lives.
Are they allowed to open the front door, answer the phone, or let anyone in?
Why ask it
Children will offer to do all three, usually with confidence. Having the parents' rule means you are enforcing their decision rather than improvising at the door.
Where is the first aid kit, and where would I find a torch and the fuse box?
Why ask it
You need these in the dark, with children present, which is not the moment to start opening cupboards. A short tour before the parents leave takes two minutes.
If someone is unwell, at what point do you want me to call you rather than wait?
Why ask it
Parents differ a great deal on this, and being told the threshold removes the guesswork. Agree explicitly that anything you judge urgent means emergency services first and a call to them straight after.
Is there anyone who should not be let in, or should not be told you are out?
Why ask it
Family arrangements are sometimes complicated, and it is far better to be told plainly than to work it out from a child's reaction. A short factual answer is all you need.
Is there anything you would like me to do after they are asleep: tidying, dishes, laundry?
Why ask it
Asking makes the expectation explicit rather than something you discover from a comment the next morning. It also lets you agree what is included in the rate and what is not.
Can I help myself in the kitchen, and is anything in there off limits?
Why ask it
Most parents are happy for a sitter to eat and would rather say so than have you sit hungry for five hours. Asking also avoids the one thing that was being saved for tomorrow.
What is the rate, is it hourly or for the evening, and how and when will you pay?
Why ask it
Settle the amount and the method before the door closes, since bank transfers and cash need different arrangements. Vagueness at this point is the most common reason sitting jobs end badly.
If you are running late, what should I expect: extra pay, and would you message me?
Why ask it
Lateness is normal and unproblematic once it has been discussed, so agree the rounding rule now. A parent who declines to discuss it at all has told you something useful about how the arrangement will go.
Before the parents leave
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
The handover
Arrive early enough to be shown round
Fifteen minutes covers the tour, the medicine, the door locks and the children saying hello while their parents are still there. The same conversation shouted from the hallway as the taxi waits will miss half of it.
Write the basics on one sheet
Numbers, allergies, medicine and doses, bedtime, and the address of the house. Keep it where you can find it in the dark, and do not rely on a phone that may be out of charge.
Meet the children with a parent present
A short introduction while the parents are still in the room makes the departure easier, particularly for younger children. Ask what usually helps at the moment of the goodbye.
While they are out
- Keep to the parents' routine even where you would do it differently. Consistency is the thing that makes the evening manageable.
- Send one short message if anything changes, such as a late bedtime or a bumped head. Parents mind far less about the event than about hearing it first the next day.
- If a child is seriously hurt or very unwell, call emergency services first and the parents immediately afterwards.
- Note the time of anything you give: medicine, a meal, a bottle. It is the first thing a parent will ask.
- Stay awake until they are home unless you have agreed otherwise. Overnight arrangements need to be discussed in advance rather than assumed.
- Leave the house roughly as you found it and mention anything broken rather than hoping it goes unnoticed.
What causes problems
Not asking about medicine in detail
The dose, the time of the last one and where it is kept all need to be explicit. A vague instruction to give something if needed is not enough to act on safely.
Leaving pay unspoken
Rates, rounding and the payment method are easy to agree beforehand and awkward to raise at midnight. Have the conversation while everyone is still in the hallway.
Accepting a child's account of the rules
Children negotiate confidently and inaccurately, particularly about screens and snacks. If you were not told it, the answer tonight is no.
Taking on more than was agreed
A pet to walk, a sibling collected from a friend's house or an extra hour are all fine if arranged and unreasonable if assumed. Say what you can do before you are relied on for it.