Babysitting Questions to Ask
A checklist for a first sitting job or a fiftieth: what to ask parents about the evening's routine, allergies and medication, house hazards, bedtime, pay and hours, and exactly what to do if a child gets hurt or someone knocks at the door.
The questions
Open any question for the note
Can you walk me through a normal evening, from when I arrive to lights out?
Why ask it
Asking for the timeline rather than the rules surfaces the small hand-offs parents forget to mention: the 6pm snack, the bath before pajamas, the show that always plays while teeth get brushed. If the answer is just "they're easy," ask them to describe last night specifically.
Are there any allergies, and if so, what does a reaction look like and what do I do?
Why ask it
The word "allergy" covers everything from a rash to anaphylaxis, and you need to know which. Ask to be shown the auto-injector or antihistamine rather than told it exists, and ask whether they want you to call them first or emergency services first.
Is anyone taking medication I might need to give, and what's the dose and the time?
Why ask it
A dose spoken aloud in a doorway gets misremembered. Ask for it in writing with the syringe or spoon left out on the counter. Vague instructions like "give her the pink one if she coughs" are worth pushing back on before the parents leave.
What are the kids allowed to eat tonight, and what can I help myself to?
Why ask it
This settles the two things that quietly cause friction: the child who negotiates for a second dessert, and the sitter who is unsure whether opening the fridge is rude. Parents who care about specific foods will usually point at a shelf or a container.
How does screen time work here, and is anything off-limits to watch?
Why ask it
What children say the rules are and what parents say rarely match. An answer with a number in it, one episode after teeth, is something you can hold to. "Not too much" leaves you negotiating at 8pm with no authority to point at.
What's the bedtime routine in order, and what usually goes wrong?
Why ask it
The second half of that question is the useful part. Every household has a predictable stall: the extra glass of water, the missing stuffed animal, the sudden urgent story. Knowing the stall in advance keeps you from inventing a new rule at bedtime.
Which rooms, stairs or cupboards should I keep them out of?
Why ask it
Hazards that are invisible to a visitor are obvious to a parent: the basement steps with no gate, the office with cords, the latch on the pool fence that only looks closed. Ask them to walk you through the house rather than describe it from the kitchen.
Is there a pet, and how is it with people it doesn't know?
Why ask it
A dog that is gentle with its family can behave differently with a stranger standing between it and the children. You also want to know who feeds it, whether it goes outside, and whether it is allowed in the bedrooms at night.
Where's the first aid kit, and where do you keep the thermometer?
Why ask it
Opening unfamiliar drawers while a child is crying is the worst time to learn the layout of a house. Ask now, and while you're there find the light switches, the towels and the spare sheets in case the bed gets wet.
If a child gets hurt, when do you want me to call you and when should I call emergency services?
Why ask it
Parents have a threshold in mind and it is often not where a sitter would guess. Getting it said out loud, call us for anything, call 911 for a head injury or trouble breathing, means you act instead of standing in the hallway deciding.
What's the address here, including any gate or apartment code, the way I'd say it to a dispatcher?
Why ask it
Sitters regularly cannot state the address of the house they are sitting in. Write it on paper and leave it by the phone. Phones die, and a code that only lives in a text message is no use to someone trying to reach the door.
Who else has a key, and is anyone likely to stop by tonight?
Why ask it
A grandparent letting themselves in is alarming if nobody warned you. This is also the moment to ask who is not permitted to collect the children, which matters in separated families and is awkward to raise any later.
What do you want me to do if someone comes to the door or the landline rings?
Why ask it
Most parents want the door left shut and a message taken, but some are waiting on a delivery or a neighbour. Settling it now means you are not making a judgment call about a stranger while holding a toddler on one hip.
Are the kids allowed outside, and how far can we go?
Why ask it
The gap between the back garden, the front pavement and the park two streets over is where sitters get into trouble. Ask about crossing roads, bikes and helmets, and whether you should text before leaving the house.
Who's your backup contact nearby if I can't reach you?
Why ask it
Phone signal fails in restaurants, cinemas and tunnels, which is where parents tend to be. A neighbour two doors down is more use than a relative an hour away, and it helps to know whether that person has a key.
How do they usually act when they're tired or missing you, and what actually helps?
Why ask it
This separates a child who wants to be held from one who needs five minutes alone in their room. Parents know which; a sitter who guesses wrong turns a small wobble into an hour of crying and then has to report it.
When they refuse to do something, what do you do, and what am I allowed to do?
Why ask it
You want their actual tools, counting down, taking the toy, walking away, and you want to hear what has been retired. Using a consequence the family has abandoned, or one they never use, undermines both you and them.
When the two of them start fighting, do you step in or let them sort it out?
Why ask it
Households genuinely differ here, and children notice instantly when a sitter's answer is different from their parents'. Ask what counts as the line, usually hitting or shutting someone out of a room, and what happens after it.
What time will you be back, and what happens with pay if it runs later than that?
Why ask it
A time, not "late," lets you plan your own evening. Raising the rate and the late-running question before the job starts is far easier than raising it at midnight in a doorway with children asleep upstairs.
Is anything going on at the moment I should know about, like a new baby, a house move or someone being ill?
Why ask it
Recent upheaval explains behavior that would otherwise look like defiance: the clinginess, the regression at bedtime, the questions about death. Parents often don't think to mention it because they are living inside it.
How to use these questions
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Do the walk-through before they leave, not after
Ask while you're standing in the room
Most of these questions get better answers on your feet than at the kitchen table. Walk the house with the parent: they will remember the stair gate, the window that doesn't lock and the cupboard with the cleaning products only when they are looking at them.
Get four things on paper
- 1The address, with apartment number, gate code or building entry code.
- 2Both parents' mobile numbers plus the nearby backup contact.
- 3Any medication, with the dose and the time it is due.
- 4The expected return time.
Ask to be shown, not told
Auto-injectors, inhalers, the first aid kit and the fuse box are all things to lay eyes on. If a parent says "it's in the kitchen somewhere," that is your answer about how the evening may go, and a reason to look before they drive off.
If this is your first time with this family
Arrive early enough to be handed over properly
Fifteen or twenty minutes before the parents need to leave is usually enough to get through the questions above and let the children see you being treated as welcome. A hand-off at the door with coats already on tends to produce a rougher first hour.
Let the children answer some of it in front of their parents
Asking a six year old what happens at bedtime, with a parent in the room, gets you the real routine and gives the child a stake in it. It also means nobody can tell you later that they are allowed one more episode.
Say what you can and cannot do
Driving, swimming supervision, giving medication and handling a child with a feeding tube or a seizure history are all things to be honest about now. Declining a task is easy in advance and impossible in the moment.
Where sitters get caught out
Accepting "just use your judgment"
It sounds like trust and functions as a gap. Push once for a specific answer on the things that matter: injuries, food, screens, bedtime. If the parent still won't be specific, write down what you decided to do and tell them when they get home.
Not asking about the other adults
Keys, expected visitors and who may collect the children are the questions sitters skip because they feel intrusive. They are the ones that matter most if a car pulls into the driveway at nine.
Leaving money unspoken
Rate, hours, how you get paid and what happens if the parents come back two hours late are all easier to raise before the job than after it. Sitters who skip this conversation are the ones who quietly stop being available.
What to tell them when they get home
- What the children ate, and roughly when.
- What time they actually fell asleep, and whether they woke up.
- Any medication given, with the time.
- Anything you had to decide on your own, and what you chose.
- Any bump, scratch or upset, even a small one, before they hear about it from the child tomorrow.