Christmas Questions to Ask Kids
Twenty Christmas questions for kids roughly four to twelve: family traditions, the best present they ever got, the song they sing wrong, who they would invite to dinner, and a few that go deeper. Suited to car rides, dinner tables and classroom circles.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What's your favorite thing about Christmas?
Why ask it
A safe opener that tells you which lane to stay in. A child who says presents wants a light conversation; one who says everyone is at our house wants to talk about people, and the rest of your questions should follow whichever they chose.
What's the first thing you do on Christmas morning?
Why ask it
Younger children answer this far more easily than a question about traditions, because it is a sequence they can picture. You get the household's actual routine, including who is made to wait and who wakes everyone up.
What's your favorite Christmas food, and is there one you don't like?
Why ask it
The second half is the fun part, since children are more specific about dislikes than adults allow them to be. Expect strong views on sprouts, mince pies and anything containing dried fruit.
Which Christmas song do you know all the words to?
Why ask it
This usually produces singing, so ask it when that is welcome. Younger kids will happily perform a verse of confidently wrong lyrics, which is often the best thing anyone says all evening.
What does your family always do that other families might not?
Why ask it
Children only notice their traditions are unusual once they have been to someone else's house, so under about seven you may get a blank. Older children will name the odd, specific thing: pajamas from an aunt, a walk nobody enjoys, one particular film.
Who decorates the tree at your house, and what's your job?
Why ask it
Asking about their job gets a real answer instead of a yes. It also tends to surface the ornament they are allowed to hang, the one they broke, and whose fault the lights are.
What's the best present you've ever been given?
Why ask it
Watch what they add after naming it. Children often explain who gave it or how it was wrapped rather than what it did, which is the part worth following up on.
What's the funniest thing that's ever happened at Christmas?
Why ask it
Something falling over, a pet in the food, an adult behaving badly. Being invited to tell a story rather than answer a question raises the energy of the whole table, which makes this a good one to use if things have gone flat.
If you could give anybody in the world a present, who would it be and what would you give them?
Why ask it
Putting the person first, before the gift, moves the answer away from a wish list. Many children name a sibling or a grandparent and then invent something impossible for them, and the choice of person is the interesting half.
If you could invite anyone to Christmas dinner, who would you pick?
Why ask it
Allow both real and made-up guests or you will only get footballers and YouTubers. The follow-up worth asking is where you would seat them, which produces more than the name did.
If you could put anything at all on the tree, what would you put on it?
Why ask it
Broad enough for a four-year-old and open enough for a ten-year-old to be funny with. It works best when you accept the first answer without improving it, since children stop offering ideas the moment one gets corrected.
If you could make up one new Christmas rule for your family, what would it be?
Why ask it
Rules children invent are usually about fairness: who opens first, how long the waiting lasts, who has to do the dishes. Underneath the joke there is often a real complaint about how the day runs.
What's the hardest part about waiting for Christmas?
Why ask it
Naming the difficulty gives them permission to admit that December is not uniformly delightful. Answers often involve a sibling, a countdown, or being unable to sleep, and it is a relief to say so.
What do you think grown-ups don't understand about Christmas?
Why ask it
Being invited to critique adults reliably gets a real answer. It also gives you information you would not otherwise get: what feels rushed to them, which visit they dread, what they think the fuss is about.
What's something you'd like to give someone this year that isn't a toy?
Why ask it
Phrasing it as a gift rather than a good deed keeps it from sounding like a lesson. Younger children think of drawings and jobs around the house, and they are often more attached to those than to anything bought.
Is there anything about Christmas you don't like?
Why ask it
Worth asking, because children rarely get asked and usually have an answer: a relative, a long car journey, being expected to be grateful in front of people. Take whatever they say without arguing them out of it.
Who do you think might be on their own at Christmas, and is there anything we could do?
Why ask it
Children often name someone real and nearby that the adults had not thought about. Only ask it if you are prepared to act on the answer, because they will remember whether anything happened.
What do you want to remember about this Christmas when you're older?
Why ask it
This lands better with children over about eight, who can imagine being older. The answers are almost never about presents, which is worth hearing if you have been worrying about the presents.
If you had to explain Christmas to someone who had never heard of it, what would you say?
Why ask it
A good closing question because it makes them assemble the whole thing themselves. What they lead with, the story, the food, the tree or the day off, tells you what Christmas is actually made of in their house.
What would you write in a letter to Santa if you weren't allowed to ask for anything?
Why ask it
The restriction is what makes this work: with the wish list ruled out, children write news, questions and apologies instead. Ask it of a younger child only if the household still keeps Santa going.
Asking kids these questions
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Making them work in the moment
Answer first yourself
Give your own answer before asking, and make it specific and slightly silly. Children copy the length and the honesty of whatever they hear first, so a one-word answer from you produces one-word answers all round.
Ask sideways rather than head-on
In a car, on a walk, or while wrapping something. A child put on the spot at a table with everyone watching will say I don't know, and once they have said it they will keep saying it.
Take the first answer
Do not improve it, correct it or explain why it would not work. One correction ends the game, and a wrong answer about reindeer costs you nothing.
Have a follow-up ready
Why that one, or what happened next, gets you the second sentence, which is where the story actually is. Most of these questions are worth more in the follow-up than in the answer.
Adjusting for age
- Four to six: stick to what happened and what they can see. Questions about tradition or what other families do are too abstract, but the first thing on Christmas morning works well.
- Seven to nine: the imaginative questions are at their best here, and comparison with other households finally makes sense to them.
- Ten to twelve: they will sense a question designed to produce a sweet answer and refuse it. The ones about what adults do not understand, and what they dislike, get much better results.
- Mixed ages together: ask the youngest first. Otherwise they repeat whatever an older sibling said.
Questions to handle carefully
Presents, in a group
In a classroom or a group of mixed households, what did you get sets children against each other and puts the one with least in an impossible position. Ask about food, songs and traditions instead, all of which cost nothing to answer.
Santa, with mixed ages
Older children in the room may know and younger ones may not. Keep questions phrased so that both can answer without anyone being exposed, and let the older ones stay in on the game if they want to.
Family, when the family has changed
For a child moving between two houses, at your house is a complicated phrase. Say for either Christmas or the one you spend with each parent, and let them choose which one they answer about.
The first Christmas after a death
Traditions and best presents can lead straight to the person who is missing. Do not steer away if they go there; let them say the name, and say it back. Children often want to talk about it and pick up quickly that adults would rather not.