20 Questions

Deep Questions to Ask Your Daughter

Meaningful and heartfelt questions that help you connect with your daughter on a deeper level, understand her thoughts and feelings, and strengthen your relationship through open and honest communication.

1

What's something you're really proud of about yourself and why does it matter to you?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages self-reflection and self-esteem while revealing what she values about herself, often leading to discussions about her strengths and accomplishments.

2

What's something you're struggling with right now and how can I best support you?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Opens up conversation about her challenges and shows you want to help, often leading to discussions about her difficulties and what support she needs.

3

What's something you're really excited about in your life right now and why?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Reveals her current interests and passions while showing you care about what brings her joy, often leading to discussions about her goals and dreams.

4

What's something you wish I understood better about you and your experiences?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages honest communication about your relationship and often leads to discussions about how she feels understood and what she needs from you.

5

What's something you're really good at that you don't get to show very often?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Reveals hidden talents and interests while encouraging her to share aspects of herself that might not be immediately visible, often leading to discussions about her unique abilities.

6

What's something you're worried about or afraid of and how can I help you feel safer?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Opens up conversation about her fears and concerns while showing you want to provide comfort and support, often leading to discussions about her anxieties and how to address them.

7

What's something you're really curious about and what would you like to learn more about?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Shows her intellectual interests and often leads to discussions about her learning goals and what she finds fascinating or engaging.

8

What's something you're really grateful for in your life right now and why?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages gratitude and positive thinking while revealing what she values most, often leading to discussions about her appreciation for life and relationships.

9

What's something you wish you could change about your life right now and why?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Reveals her desires for change and often leads to discussions about her goals, aspirations, and what she wants to improve in her life.

10

What's something you're really looking forward to in the future and why?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Shows her hopes and dreams while encouraging her to think about the future, often leading to discussions about her goals and aspirations.

11

What's something you're really good at that you don't get to talk about very often?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages her to share hidden strengths and often leads to discussions about her unique abilities and what makes her special.

12

What's something you're really proud of about our relationship and what makes it special to you?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Reveals her perspective on your relationship while encouraging her to share what she values about your connection, often leading to discussions about your bond.

13

What's something you're really curious about that you'd like to explore together?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages shared experiences and often leads to discussions about activities you can do together and what she finds interesting or engaging.

14

What's something you're really grateful for about our family and what makes it special?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Shows her appreciation for family while revealing what she values about your family dynamic, often leading to discussions about family relationships and traditions.

15

What's something you're really looking forward to learning or experiencing?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Reveals her learning goals and often leads to discussions about her interests, aspirations, and what she wants to explore or achieve.

16

What's something you're really proud of about your friends and what makes them special to you?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Shows her social connections while revealing what she values in friendships, often leading to discussions about her relationships and social life.

17

What's something you're really curious about that you'd like to know more about?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages her intellectual curiosity and often leads to discussions about her interests, questions, and what she finds fascinating or engaging.

18

What's something you're really grateful for about your life and what makes it meaningful to you?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages reflection on life's meaning while revealing what she values most, often leading to discussions about her values and what gives her life purpose.

19

What's something you're really looking forward to sharing with me and why?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages her to share with you while revealing what she wants to communicate, often leading to discussions about her thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

20

What's something you're really proud of about who you're becoming and what makes you excited about your future?

Click to see why this works

Why this works

Encourages self-reflection on growth while revealing her sense of identity and future aspirations, often leading to discussions about her development and goals.

Best Practices for Deep Conversations with Your Daughter

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Create a Safe and Non-Judgmental Space

Your daughter needs to feel safe sharing her thoughts and feelings. Listen without judgment and show that you value her perspective, even if you don't agree with everything she says.

Focus on Understanding, Not Fixing

These conversations are about understanding and connecting, not about solving problems or giving advice. Focus on listening and understanding her experiences.

Be Patient and Allow for Silence

Deep conversations can take time. Allow for pauses and don't rush her responses. Sometimes the most meaningful answers come after thoughtful consideration.

Question Sequences

The Self-Reflection and Growth Sequence

1
What's something you're really proud of about yourself and why does it matter to you?
2
What's something you're struggling with right now and how can I best support you?
3
What's something you're really proud of about who you're becoming and what makes you excited about your future?

The Relationship and Connection Flow

1
What's something you wish I understood better about you and your experiences?
2
What's something you're really proud of about our relationship and what makes it special to you?
3
What's something you're really looking forward to sharing with me and why?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Interrupt or Rush Her Responses

Give her time to think and respond. Don't interrupt or rush her answers, even if there are pauses. Sometimes the most meaningful responses take time to formulate.

Avoid Making It About You

These conversations are about her, not about you. Don't turn her answers into opportunities to share your own experiences or give advice unless she asks for it.

Don't Judge or Criticize Her Answers

Even if you don't agree with her perspective, show respect for her thoughts and feelings. Judging or criticizing her answers will shut down future conversations.

Conversation Templates

The Self-Reflection and Growth Flow

1
Step 1: Start with: "What's something you're really proud of about yourself and why does it matter to you?"
2
Step 2: Continue with: "What's something you're struggling with right now and how can I best support you?"
3
Step 3: Finish with: "What's something you're really proud of about who you're becoming and what makes you excited about your future?"

The Relationship and Connection Sequence

1
Step 1: Begin with: "What's something you wish I understood better about you and your experiences?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "What's something you're really proud of about our relationship and what makes it special to you?"
3
Step 3: End with: "What's something you're really looking forward to sharing with me and why?"

Further Reading

"The Whole-Brain Child" by Daniel Siegel
"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" by Adele Faber
"The 5 Love Languages of Children" by Gary Chapman

Find Your Perfect Questions

Search our collection of thoughtful questions for any conversation or situation