Funny Questions to Ask Little Kids
Here are 53 funny questions to ask kids from about three to eight, for parents, grandparents, sitters and teachers. They run in the order a chat with a small child tends to go: noisy warm-ups, food, what-if questions and what children make of grown-ups. The last group is a run of funny interview questions to ask kids on camera, with a wooden spoon for a microphone.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Warm-ups
What's your favorite animal? Can you make its sound?
Why ask it
A strong opener because it asks for a performance and not an answer, and very few small children turn down the chance to roar. Once they have made a noise out loud they tend to keep talking, where a question that needs thinking can get you a shrug.
What's the silliest word you know, and can you say it in a silly voice?
Why ask it
Small children love the sound of words before they care about the meaning, so expect invented nonsense and not a real word. It also sets the rules for whatever you ask next: silly answers are allowed and nobody is being tested.
What's the funniest face you can make without using your hands?
Why ask it
The no-hands rule is the joke, because the first instinct is to pull both cheeks apart. Make yours at the same moment so they are not performing alone, and keep a mirror or a phone camera nearby for the child who wants to see the result.
What's the funniest joke you know?
Why ask it
Expect a joke with no punchline, or a punchline delivered before the setup, and laugh anyway. What matters is that they have noticed jokes have a shape. Many will then tell you the same joke four more times, which is part of the deal.
What does a dinosaur say when it stubs its toe?
Why ask it
Nobody can get this wrong, so you hear a roar, a tiny "ow", or a full speech about needing a bandage. Kids who are too shy to make a noise of their own will often make the dinosaur's quite happily.
Would you rather be as tall as a house or as small as a mouse?
Why ask it
Two options are easier than an open question, so keep this for a child who has gone quiet. The answers get physical fast: they start showing you what they could reach on the top shelf, or which gap under the door they would squeeze through.
What makes you laugh so hard you fall over?
Why ask it
The answer is often a person and one exact thing that person does, like a dad pretending to sneeze. Whatever they name, do it or promise it for later. You have just been handed the most reliable way to cheer this child up.
What's the stinkiest thing in the whole world?
Why ask it
Smells are a safe kind of rude, so the giggling starts before the answer does. Feet, the trash can and a sibling are the usual front-runners. Ask for a top three and you have a debate on your hands.
What would be a really silly name for me?
Why ask it
Renaming an adult is a small handover of power, and children take it seriously. Agree to answer to the new name for the next ten minutes, because they will test whether you meant it.
Food
If you could invent a brand new ice cream flavor, what would be in it?
Why ask it
The list is the fun part, and it usually gets worse the longer they go: chocolate, then sprinkles, then pickles, then a hot dog. Have them name the flavor before you move on, which gets you a second answer for free.
What food would you never eat, not even for a million dollars?
Why ask it
Children are absolute about disliked food in a way adults have learned not to be, so this comes out fast and with feeling. The million dollars matters, because it turns a complaint into a dare they are proud to refuse.
What would you put on a pizza that nobody has ever put on a pizza?
Why ask it
Cereal, gummy bears and whole bananas all turn up. If you can stand it, let them build a small one some night. A child who invented the topping will usually try a bite, though finishing the slice is another matter.
If you were making breakfast for a dragon, what would you cook?
Why ask it
Listen for the logic: hot food because dragons like fire, or cold food because their mouths are hot already. Asking how big the plate needs to be gets arms stretched wide and a second round of ideas.
If broccoli could talk, what would it say when you leave it on the plate?
Why ask it
Give the vegetable a voice and the dinner table argument becomes a puppet show. Some children make it beg, some make it relieved, and a few will eat a piece to hear it squeal. Swap in whichever vegetable is the current enemy.
What's the messiest food you've ever eaten, and where did the mess end up?
Why ask it
A memory question with an easy hook, since the mess is the part that stuck. Spaghetti in hair and ice cream down a sleeve are typical, and asking who had to clean it up gives the story its ending.
What would happen if we ate dessert first and dinner last?
Why ask it
Most kids begin with a loud yes and then start working it out: would there be room for dinner, and would it still count as dinner. A five year old arguing both sides of a dessert question is the entertainment.
What snack would you pack for a trip to the moon?
Why ask it
The packing list shows what they think space is like: nothing that floats away, or only things that float away. Ask how they would eat it with a helmet on and watch the plan fall apart.
What if
If it could rain anything instead of water, what would you want to fall out of the sky?
Why ask it
Chocolate and coins are the quick answers, and the fun is in the consequences: sticky hair, dented cars, puddles nobody wants to jump in. Wonder out loud what an umbrella would have to be made of.
If you had a magic wand, what's the first thing you would do with it?
Why ask it
The word first stops them from listing ten wishes and forces one choice. Younger children ask for an object, older ones start fixing things: no more bedtime, a sick pet made better, a grandparent brought closer. That shift is worth listening for.
What superpower would you want, and what would you use it for?
Why ask it
Flying and invisibility come up constantly, so the second half is the real question. Notice whether the power is for adventure or for getting out of something specific, like school shoes or a sibling's closed bedroom door.
If your toys could talk, what would they say about you?
Why ask it
It asks them to picture themselves from the outside, which is a real leap for a four year old. Answers range from "thank you for playing with me" to a complaint about being left out in the rain.
If you could have any pet, real or made up, what would you get and what would you name it?
Why ask it
The name is where the personality shows up, and it is often something ordinary attached to something enormous: a dragon called Kevin, a giraffe called Spot. Younger children name pets after people they know.
If you could build a house out of anything at all, what would you make it from?
Why ask it
Almost everyone starts with candy or cake, so follow up by asking what happens when it rains. The problem-solving that follows is more interesting than the material, and it keeps a one-word answer going.
If one animal could talk, which would you pick and what would you ask it?
Why ask it
Most children choose their own pet, and what they want to ask is usually something they really wonder about: whether the dog is happy, why the cat sits there. Those answers can be more touching than funny, so do not hurry past them.
If you could be a different age tomorrow, what age would you pick?
Why ask it
Most pick older, and the number is often a big sibling's age or the one they believe comes with a privilege: a phone, the front seat, no bedtime. A child who picks younger is usually thinking of a baby who gets carried everywhere.
If you woke up tomorrow with a tail, what kind would it be and what would you do with it?
Why ask it
Monkey tails win for swinging and fox tails for looks. The practical problems are where the laughs are: how pants would work, and whether it would wag and give them away when they fib about brushing their teeth.
If your bed could fly, where would it take you tonight?
Why ask it
One for the ten minutes before lights out, when they are already sitting in the vehicle. Destinations are often close to home, such as a grandparent's house or the playground after dark. The passenger list is worth hearing too, especially who is left off it.
If you found a tiny door at the bottom of a tree, who do you think lives behind it?
Why ask it
You will get mice, fairies, or a very small version of somebody they know. Ask what the furniture is made of, and on your next walk go looking for a likely tree together.
If a friendly monster moved into our house, which room would it sleep in?
Why ask it
Say "friendly" clearly, because for some little kids monsters are still a bedtime worry and that one word changes the game. The room they choose is rarely their own, and the bathtub and the garage are popular. Then ask what the monster is scared of.
Grown-ups
What do you think grown-ups do all day when kids aren't around?
Why ask it
The answers are built entirely from guesswork and usually involve eating whatever the child is not allowed to eat. Adults tend to want this answer repeated to somebody else, so write it down while it is fresh.
If you were in charge of the whole house for one day, what rules would you make?
Why ask it
Children are strict rulers. Most invent as many rules as they abolish, and several will make rules for the adults. The rule they scrap first tells you which household rule they resent most this month.
What's something you're really good at that grown-ups are bad at?
Why ask it
Children love being the expert and rarely get asked to be. Video games, cartwheels, finding lost things and knowing every dinosaur all get claimed. Do not argue with any of it, even the wildly untrue ones.
Why do you think grown-ups drink so much coffee?
Why ask it
Theories include that it tastes like chocolate, that it is medicine, and that it is what makes adults tall. Offer a sniff of the cup, not a sip, and enjoy the face that follows.
What's the most boring thing grown-ups talk about?
Why ask it
Traffic, the weather and "what's for dinner" are the usual charges. Taken together they are a fair review of how your conversations sound from three feet off the ground.
How much money do you think it costs to buy a house?
Why ask it
The number is either five dollars or a hundred million, and both are said with total confidence. Ask what they would spend the change on. There is no need to correct the price.
How old is really, really old?
Why ask it
Be ready to hear your own age, or a number below it. To a small child nearly every adult number is enormous, so take the answer as a fact about how they count and not as a comment on your face.
What's something I say all the time?
Why ask it
A staple of the birthday interview, and it comes back in your own voice: "hurry up", "shoes", "because I said so". Sitters and teachers have a catchphrase too, and it is seldom the one they would have chosen.
If you had to go to work tomorrow instead of me, what would you do there?
Why ask it
What comes back is their picture of a job: typing very fast, saying hello on the phone, eating lunch. Teachers and sitters can ask it about their own work and find out what the child believes happens after everyone goes home.
What would you teach a grown-up who forgot how to play?
Why ask it
The lesson usually starts on the spot, so ask when you have ten minutes to be the student. Rule one tends to be that the adult has to get down on the floor.
When a grown-up says "in a minute", how long is that really?
Why ask it
Children have kept score on this, and the verdict is rarely flattering: an hour, never, until the phone goes away. Laugh, and then think about setting a timer the next time you say it.
Interview
Can you tell everybody your name, how old you are and what your job is?
Why ask it
This is the opening line of a kid interview, best asked into a wooden spoon or a hairbrush. Name and age settle them in front of the camera, and the job is the first laugh: "playing", "being four", or a firm "I don't have one."
What's the hardest part about being a kid?
Why ask it
Ask it with a straight face, the way a reporter would. The complaints are specific and heartfelt: bedtime, not reaching the faucet, having to hold hands in the parking lot. Nod and say "go on" instead of defending the rule.
What do you want to be when you grow up? What would you do on your very first day?
Why ask it
The job is the boring half. The first day is where you learn what they actually picture: a vet who feeds every animal a snack, a firefighter who drives the truck to their own house. A child who is tired of being asked about the job can go straight to the day.
If you were the boss of the whole country, what would you change?
Why ask it
Policies lean toward free ice cream, no bedtimes and a pet for everybody. On camera, follow up the way an interviewer would and ask who is going to pay for it. The budget answer often beats the policy.
How do you think people decide who to marry?
Why ask it
Kids reason from what they have seen, so you hear things like "you pick the one who shares" or "you ask your mom." Let it stand. Some will announce plans of their own, usually involving a classmate or the family dog.
Where does money come from?
Why ask it
The machine in the wall and "your phone" are common answers, and from where a child stands both are fair. Save the real explanation for another day, because in an interview the theory is the whole point.
What's the funniest thing that ever happened to you?
Why ask it
This asks for a memory and not an invention, which is harder for the youngest. If they stall, narrow it: something funny at school, or something funny the dog did. A general question about the past rarely produces anything.
What should a brand new baby know about living in this family?
Why ask it
You get the house rules as the child understands them, along with warnings about particular relatives. It suits an older sibling especially well, since for once they are the one who knows how everything works.
What do you know more about than anybody else here?
Why ask it
Give them the floor and a time limit, because a dinosaur or truck expert can go on for a while. On film this is often the best clip: they stop performing and simply explain, very seriously, to the camera.
What will you look like when you are a hundred years old?
Why ask it
A beard is likely whoever is answering, plus a stick and some very slow walking, acted out. Then find out what they will still love doing at a hundred, which is usually exactly what they love now.
Who is really the boss of this family?
Why ask it
Risky and worth it. The verdict arrives instantly, sometimes naming the child, the baby or the cat, and every adult in the room will have an opinion. The evidence is the good part: what does the boss do that proves it?
What's the best day you can remember?
Why ask it
A calmer question for when the giggling has worn everyone out. Small children usually name something recent and small: a beach afternoon, a birthday, a day somebody visited. Keep the answer somewhere, because it changes completely within a year.
Is there anything else you would like to say to the people watching?
Why ask it
Interviewers sign off this way, and kids rise to it. You may get a wave, a song, a sudden fact about sharks or a hello to a grandparent. Keep filming for a few seconds after they finish, because the walk-off is often the funniest moment.
How to use these questions with young children
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
How small children actually answer
- Three and four year olds often hand back the last thing they heard. If the first answer sounds copied, it probably is. Ask again in a different way rather than pushing.
- Wait longer than feels natural. Count slowly to ten in your head before you say anything else, because the real answer often arrives in the silence adults usually fill.
- Two options work better than an open question when a child is tired or shy. Would you rather be a lion or a fish gets you moving again.
- Do not ask why more than once in a row. It reads as being challenged, and children who feel challenged stop offering anything.
Where these work best
- The car is the single best place, because nobody has to make eye contact and there is nothing else to do.
- Bath time, bedtime and long walks all work for the same reason. Sitting across a table feels like being interviewed.
- In a classroom or a group, ask the quietest child first. Once a confident child answers, the rest tend to give that same answer back.
- Pick three or four questions, not the whole list. Small children lose interest well before it runs out, and stopping early keeps them keen next time.
Getting more than one word
- And then what happened is the most useful follow-up in existence with young children. Use it two or three times and a sentence becomes a story.
- Ask them to show you rather than tell you: the animal noise, the silly face, how tall the house would be. Physical answers unlock verbal ones.
- Answer your own question badly first. A ridiculous ice cream flavor from an adult gives them permission to be sillier than they would risk being alone.
- Write down or record the exact words. Paraphrasing loses the whole thing, and the phrasing is what you will want to have kept in five years.
What to avoid
- Never correct the imagination. A dragon cannot really live in the garage, but saying so ends the conversation and teaches them that answers can be wrong.
- Skip anything asking them to rank people they love, and be careful with questions about the future in families going through change.
- Do not perform their answers for a room of adults while they are standing there. Repeat it later, out of earshot.
- If they say I don't know twice, move on cheerfully. There is no version of this that is worth pressing a small child on.
Filming a funny kid interview
- Set it up as a game: a chair, a spoon or hairbrush for a microphone, and you as the reporter. Open with the name, age and job question from the Interview group, then borrow from any of the other groups.
- Prop the phone at the child's eye level and then leave it alone. A child who can see you watching the screen starts performing for the phone and stops talking to you.
- Five or six questions is a whole interview at this age. Film another next week if it went well, and repeat the same few questions every birthday if you want something to keep.
- Show them the clip before anybody else sees it, and ask before you send it on. If they say no, or it is the sort of thing that would embarrass them at twelve, it stays in the family.