Funny Questions to Ask Musicians
Twenty light questions to ask a musician backstage, on a podcast or over drinks: what their instrument would complain about, the song they never want to be asked for again, the worst venue they have played, and the gear purchase they still regret.
The questions
Open any question for the note
If your instrument could talk, what would it complain about?
Why ask it
A good opener because every player has a running argument with their own gear: the neck that will not stay in tune, the reed that dies mid-set, the case that weighs more than the instrument. Whoever answers instantly has been playing a long time.
What's the weirdest thing you've ever used as an instrument?
Why ask it
Almost every musician has hit something unlikely for a recording or a joke: a radiator, a suitcase, a bike wheel, a kitchen drawer. Session players and producers have the best answers here because they get asked to solve odd problems.
What song do you never want to be asked to play again?
Why ask it
This is where you find out what kind of musician you are talking to. Wedding and function players name the same three requests, touring artists name their own biggest song, and hobbyists usually cannot think of one at all.
What's the strangest request you've had from someone in the audience?
Why ask it
Requests reveal the rooms they play. A shouted request for a song from a completely different genre is a bar gig, a note passed to the stage is a wedding, and a request to play something quieter is a restaurant.
What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you on stage?
Why ask it
Everyone who performs has one, and most have made peace with it, so this is safer than it sounds. Broken strings, forgotten lyrics and equipment failures are common. Give them the space to tell it properly rather than cutting in with your own.
What's the worst venue you've ever played, and what made it bad?
Why ask it
The detail is what makes this funny: a dressing room that was a cupboard, a stage next to a fryer, a promoter who never turned up. Musicians rank venues by things audiences never notice, and hearing the criteria is the point.
What's the most ridiculous thing you've done to get a gig?
Why ask it
Answers range from cheerful lies about their own repertoire to driving six hours for a fee that did not cover fuel. It quietly tells you how hungry they were at the time, and how long ago that was.
Which instrument do you think is overrated, and will you say it on the record?
Why ask it
The second half is what makes this fun, because it turns an opinion into a dare. Expect a bit of theater and then a real answer. It works especially well with more than one musician in the room.
What's the weirdest place you've had to practice or warm up?
Why ask it
Practice happens wherever it can: stairwells, cars, bathrooms, hotel corridors, walk-in refrigerators. Singers and brass players have the best stories, since they cannot practice quietly no matter where they are.
What's the most ridiculous thing you've done to avoid practicing?
Why ask it
Musicians are honest about this in a way that surprises people, because avoidance is part of the job. Rearranging the room, reorganizing files, watching other players on video for two hours. Whoever claims never to have avoided it is either lying or very new.
What's the funniest thing a music teacher ever said to you?
Why ask it
Teachers reach for strange metaphors under pressure, and the memorable ones are usually both absurd and effective. If they still repeat the line to their own students, you have found the best answer in the set.
What's the strangest compliment anyone has given your music?
Why ask it
Sideways praise is a genre of its own: a comparison to a band they dislike, a note about how good it was to sleep to, a comment on their shirt instead. It also shows how gracefully they take feedback that misses.
What do people always get wrong about your instrument?
Why ask it
This is the question they have been waiting for, and it is where you learn something real. Drummers, bass players and violists in particular have a specific misconception they have been fighting since they were fourteen.
What's the worst piece of gear you've ever bought, and do you still own it?
Why ask it
The second half is the punchline, because the answer is almost always yes and it is under a bed somewhere. Gear regret is universal and specific, and it usually comes with the price and the year attached.
What's the one thing your band still argues about?
Why ask it
Keep it to logistics and volume, not personalities. Bands argue about set length, who drives, how loud the guitars are and what to play last. Solo players will answer about whoever they hire, which is just as good.
What's the most chaotic thing that's happened at a gig that the audience never noticed?
Why ask it
This is the insider question, and musicians love it. Broken strings swapped mid-song, a whole section played in the wrong key, someone counting in the next song at the wrong tempo. It shows how much of performance is quiet repair.
What's a genre you love that you'd rather your bandmates didn't know about?
Why ask it
Musical snobbery is a bit, and this question pokes at it. The answers are usually pop, musicals, or something from their teens. Whoever refuses to answer is telling you exactly how seriously they take their own image.
If you could only play one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Why ask it
Look for whether they pick something they love hearing or something that is satisfying under their hands. Players choose differently from listeners, and the reason is more interesting than the title.
If you could sit in with any band for one night, who would it be and on what?
Why ask it
The instrument they name is the tell. Many pick something they do not actually play, which reveals the musician they wish they had become. Ask which song, otherwise the answer stops halfway.
What did you believe about being a musician at twenty that turned out to be nonsense?
Why ask it
A closer that stays light while getting somewhere honest: about money, about how gigs actually come, about how much of it is driving and waiting. Anyone still in their twenties will answer about last year instead, which works fine.
How to use these questions with musicians
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
When to ask
- Never in the hour before a show. Musicians are warming up, tuning, and running the set in their heads, and small talk costs them more than it looks like it does.
- After the set and after load-out is the best window. During load-out they are working, and it is fine to help and talk at the same time.
- For a podcast or interview, put the gear and venue questions early. They are easy to answer and they get someone talking in full sentences before anything reflective.
- In a group of musicians, the overrated instrument question runs the whole table. Save it for when you want the conversation to take over on its own.
Who you are talking to
- Function and wedding players, touring artists, teachers, session players and hobbyists have almost nothing in common day to day. Find out which they are before you ask about tour stories.
- Classical training and self-teaching produce different answers to the same question. A conservatory player will answer the teacher question very differently from someone who learned from videos.
- Plenty of skilled musicians have day jobs and no interest in a career in music. Do not assume the goal is fame, and do not ask when they are going to make it.
- If they are in the middle of a hard stretch financially, the gig questions can land badly. Watch how they answer the first one and adjust.
What goes wrong
- Do not ask them to play something. It turns a conversation into an audition, and they have already worked today.
- Avoid asking whether you would have heard of them. There is no good answer and both versions are uncomfortable.
- Do not offer notes on their set unless they ask. A funny question followed by unsolicited criticism ends the exchange.
- Stay off streaming payouts and how much they earn unless they raise it. That subject has its own gravity and it will swallow the rest of the conversation.
Getting the good version
- Ask what the audience saw versus what was actually happening. The gap is where every good gig story lives.
- Ask them to demonstrate rather than describe, but only if an instrument is already in their hands. Never fetch one for them.
- Ask who else was in the band that night. Line-ups change constantly and the names bring the rest of the story with them.
- If you play at all, admit your own worst gear purchase first. Musicians reciprocate confessions immediately.