Funny Questions to Ask Your Toddler
Twenty silly what-if questions for your own child, roughly two to four, all of them about things that are not real: a pet dragon, a walking house, being as tiny as a bug. This is the set for a child who has started to invent rather than only report, so the answers run long and wander off. For a toddler you see less often, or one who is not inventing yet, the funny questions for a toddler you do not live with stay shorter and more physical.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What's your favorite animal?
Why ask it
Toddlers usually name whatever animal they saw most recently, in a book, at a window or on a screen, so the answer changes week to week and tells you what stuck from the day.
What sound does that animal make?
Why ask it
Turns a question into a performance, which is what keeps a two year old in the conversation. Do the sound wrong on purpose and you will be corrected with great authority.
If you could be any animal, which one would you be?
Why ask it
Younger toddlers repeat the animal from the last question, which is fine. Around three or four you start getting a reason attached, and the reason is usually about size or speed.
What's your favorite color? What else is that color?
Why ask it
The second half is the real question. Naming other objects of the same color is harder than naming the color, and it shows you how far the sorting has got.
What's the funniest thing you ever saw?
Why ask it
Expect something from the last two days rather than the last two years, because for a toddler ever means roughly this week. Often it is someone falling over.
What's the silliest word you know?
Why ask it
Invented words count and are usually the answer. Repeating their word back is what produces the laugh, and it will then be repeated at volume for the rest of the day.
If you had a pet dragon, where would it sleep?
Why ask it
The size problem is what makes this funny, since a toddler will happily install a dragon in the bath. Watch whether they solve the logistics or simply ignore them.
What do you think is inside the moon?
Why ask it
No right answer exists, which is the point. Toddlers tend to fill unknowns with food, animals or family members, and that tells you what their world is currently made of.
If you were cooking dinner tonight, what would you make?
Why ask it
Usually a list of every food they like with no regard for whether they go together. If you actually make a version of it, this becomes the question they ask you to repeat.
If you could only eat one food forever, what would you pick?
Why ask it
Forever means very little at this age, so treat it as a favorites question. The answer is genuinely useful at the supermarket for about two weeks.
If you could turn one thing in this room into cake, which thing?
Why ask it
A rule change rather than a preference, so they have to look around and pick. Toddlers usually choose something enormous, then worry aloud about who is going to eat it all.
What do you think your toys do when we all go out?
Why ask it
The house carrying on without them in it is a genuinely new idea at three. Expect a party, a nap or a fight, and ask who is in charge if you want it to grow a plot.
What's the silliest way to walk across this room?
Why ask it
Gets a toddler moving, which resets attention when they are wriggling. Walk it yourself first if they hesitate, since demonstration beats explanation at this age.
If you were as big as a house, what would you do first?
Why ask it
Size fantasies land well with toddlers because scale is something they think about constantly. Expect reaching high shelves, stepping over cars, or seeing over a fence.
If you were as tiny as a bug, where would you hide?
Why ask it
The reverse of the previous question and usually the better one, because they will name a real hiding place in your actual house.
What would you do if a giant knocked on the front door?
Why ask it
A problem to solve rather than a scene to describe, so you find out whether their first move is hiding, fighting or offering the giant a snack.
What's something grown-ups do that looks funny to you?
Why ask it
Best with a three or four year old. The answer is a small, unflattering and entirely accurate observation about you, and it is worth hearing.
If you never had to go to bed, what would you do all night?
Why ask it
Bedtime is the biggest negotiation in a toddler's day, so this gets genuine enthusiasm. Do not ask it at bedtime unless you enjoy consequences.
What would you name a baby elephant?
Why ask it
Naming things is a favorite toddler activity, and the name is frequently the name of someone in the family or a food. Ask why and the story runs for several minutes.
If our house could walk, where would it go?
Why ask it
The largest idea in the list, and it lets them take the whole family somewhere. Where they send it is usually a place you have actually been, which is the part worth noticing.
Talking with a toddler
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
How to ask so you get an answer
One clause, not two
A toddler processes the last thing they heard. Which animal would you be gets an answer, while which animal would you be and why and what would you eat gets you the word cat and nothing else.
Answer it yourself first
Modeling the answer is what teaches the shape of the game. Say your silly walk, your dragon plan or your favorite color, then ask. Silence after a question usually means they do not know what kind of answer is wanted.
Ask while doing something else
Bath time, the car seat, a walk or a puddle all work better than sitting face to face. Sustained eye contact plus questions feels like a test even at three.
What the answers will actually be like
- At two, expect one word, often the last word of your question repeated back.
- At three, expect a story that starts as an answer and ends somewhere unrelated. Let it run.
- At four, expect the answer to include a reason, and expect the reason to be firmly argued.
- Expect the same answer for weeks, then a total change with no explanation.
- Expect repeat requests. If a question makes them laugh, you will be asked it every day for a month.
What not to do
Do not correct the facts
If the moon is full of cheese and the dog is thinking about a car, leave it. Correcting an imaginative answer teaches them that these questions have a right answer, and they will start guessing rather than inventing.
Do not ask when they are hungry or tired
None of this works before a meal or near a nap. A toddler who will not answer is usually not being difficult, they are done, and pressing turns a game into a standoff.
Do not repeat the question three times
If they ignore it twice, drop it and ask something else later. Repetition reads as pressure, and there is nothing here worth pressing for.