Good Questions to Ask Coaches
Questions to ask a life, executive or career coach before you pay for anything. Coaching is an unregulated field, so these cover what happens in a session, training and scope, fees and cancellation terms, confidentiality when an employer is paying, and how you would both know if it is not working.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What actually happens in a session?
Why ask it
You are asking for a description of an hour, not a philosophy. Good answers are concrete: a check-in, a topic you bring, questions, an action you leave with. If the answer stays abstract after a follow-up, you will not know what you are buying.
Who do you usually work with?
Why ask it
Look for a recognizable pattern: first-time managers, founders, people changing careers after forty. A coach who says they work with anyone is either very experienced or has not had enough clients to notice a pattern.
What training do you have, and who accredits it?
Why ask it
Nothing stops anyone calling themselves a coach, so ask for the specific programme and body, then check that body exists independently. Relevant lived experience can substitute for a credential, but you should know which one you are relying on.
What kind of problem do you turn away?
Why ask it
A coach with no exclusions is a warning sign, because it means no defined scope. Reasonable answers include clinical issues, legal disputes, marriage counselling, or anything where the client has been sent against their will.
How long do you normally work with someone?
Why ask it
Ask for the typical length, not the maximum. Three to six months is common for a defined goal; an open-ended arrangement with no natural end is worth questioning, because it is also the most profitable structure for them.
What does it cost, and how is it billed?
Why ask it
Get the per-session and total figures, and ask what is included: email between sessions, a written plan, extra calls. Vagueness about price at this stage predicts vagueness about scope later.
Can I pay per session, or only as a package?
Why ask it
Packages are normal and often cheaper per session, but a large upfront payment with no exit removes your only real leverage. Ask whether unused sessions are refundable and whether there is a break clause.
What is your policy on cancelling or rescheduling?
Why ask it
Twenty-four or forty-eight hours' notice is standard, and so is charging for late cancellations. What you want to know is whether the policy is symmetrical: what happens when they cancel on you.
What do you expect me to do between sessions?
Why ask it
The between-session work is where coaching either does something or does not. A coach who expects nothing is selling conversation; one who sets several hours of homework may not fit around a demanding job, so it is better to know now.
How will we know in three months whether this is working?
Why ask it
Forces a check-in point into the arrangement. Good answers name something observable, whether that is a behaviour, a decision made, or feedback from colleagues. Answers about feeling clearer are hard to distinguish from paying to be listened to.
What do you do when a client stops making progress?
Why ask it
Every coach meets this and the answer separates the experienced from the rest. Listen for whether they would change approach, name it directly, or end the engagement, and whether ending it has ever actually happened.
Can you describe someone this did not work for?
Why ask it
The single most informative question in this list. A coach who has never had a client it did not work for is not being straight with you, and how they describe the failure tells you whether they blame the client.
What stays between us, and what does not?
Why ask it
Coaches are not bound by the confidentiality rules that govern licensed therapists, so ask what the limits are and get them in writing. Ask specifically about supervision, where your case may be discussed anonymously with another coach.
If my employer is paying, what do they see?
Why ask it
The answer varies from nothing at all to attendance only to a three-way goal review with your manager. This changes what it is safe for you to say in the room, so establish it before your first session, not after.
Where do you draw the line between coaching and therapy?
Why ask it
A careful coach can describe the boundary and will tell you what they would do if something clinical surfaced, including who they would refer you to. Someone who says coaching handles everything is the answer to avoid.
What if I think you have read a situation wrong?
Why ask it
You will disagree with them at some point, and how they respond to this hypothetical predicts how they respond in practice. Look for someone who invites the correction rather than explaining why their read is usually right.
How do you keep notes, and can I see them?
Why ask it
Practical and revealing. It tells you whether they track what you agreed, where those notes are stored, and whether you have access. In many places you have a legal right to see personal data held about you, and a professional will know that.
Could I speak to a current or former client?
Why ask it
Testimonials on a website are selected; a conversation is not. If confidentiality prevents it, a reasonable coach will offer something instead, such as an introduction to someone who has agreed to be a reference.
Can we do one session before I commit to anything?
Why ask it
Most coaches offer a short chemistry call, but a full paid session is a better test. Notice how you feel afterwards: worked rather than flattered is the sign you want, and pressure to sign in the call itself is the sign to walk.
How does this end?
Why ask it
Ask about the exit at the start. You want a defined endpoint, a final review, and a clear way to stop early without penalty. A coach who has not thought about the ending has an incentive to keep you indefinitely.
Choosing a coach without wasting money
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Work out what you are actually hiring
A coach
Asks questions to help you decide and act. Works well when you broadly know the terrain and need structure, accountability and an outside view. Does not diagnose or treat anything.
A therapist or counsellor
Licensed, regulated, and the right choice if the difficulty is depression, anxiety, trauma, grief or addiction. If a coach hears any of that and keeps coaching rather than referring, that is a reason to stop.
A consultant or an advisor
Gives you answers rather than questions. If what you need is someone who has done the specific thing and can tell you how, you may be looking for domain expertise rather than coaching.
A mentor
Usually unpaid, usually senior in your own field, usually less structured. Cheaper and often better for career-specific navigation, though harder to hold to a schedule.
Before the first call
- Write down the one thing you want to be different in six months, in a sentence. If you cannot, that is the first thing to work out, and it may be worth one paid session on its own.
- Decide your budget as a total, not per session. Coaching is priced per hour and bought in blocks, and the two framings feel very different.
- Speak to at least three coaches. The differences between them only become visible on the second and third call.
- Check whether your employer has a budget for this. Many do, and it is often unspent, though see the question about what they get to see.
- Search the coach's name plus their claimed credential. Accrediting bodies publish member directories, and a minute of checking is worth doing.
Signals in the sales conversation
Reassuring
- They ask you more questions than they answer, and their questions are better than you expected.
- They name what they do not do, and refer elsewhere for it.
- They send a written agreement covering fees, cancellation and confidentiality without being chased.
- They are willing to say the engagement should end after a set number of sessions.
Reasons to walk away
- Guaranteed outcomes, particularly income figures or a promotion.
- Pressure to decide during the call, or a discount that expires today.
- Reluctance to state a price until they know your salary.
- Testimonials that are all screenshots with no names attached, and no willingness to arrange a reference.
- Any suggestion that doubting the process is itself a sign you need it.
Common pitfalls
- Buying a twelve-month package on the strength of one warm conversation. Start small and extend if it works.
- Choosing on rapport alone. Being comfortable is pleasant, but the coaching that changes anything is usually mildly uncomfortable.
- Hiring a coach for a problem that is structural. If the job itself is the issue, six months of coaching will help you articulate that at considerable expense.
- Not telling them what you actually want to talk about, then concluding after four sessions that they are not helping.
- Ignoring the confidentiality question when the employer is paying, and then saying something in session three you would not have said.
- Staying out of politeness. A coaching relationship that is not working should end, and a good coach will say so first.