Good Questions to Ask Kindergarteners
Questions to ask a kindergartener that get more than "good" or "I don't know": easy starters, the school day, favorites, feelings and friends, pretend, and growing up. Each one comes with a short note on what a five- or six-year-old tends to say and what to ask next. Written for parents, teachers and grandparents.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Starters
What was the best part of kindergarten today?
Why ask it
Narrower than "how was school," which almost always gets "good." Naming one part gives a five-year-old something concrete to describe, and the part they pick is often not the one you would have guessed.
Who did you play with at recess today, and what did you play?
Why ask it
Recess is the part of the day a kindergartener runs for themselves, so it is usually the part they remember best. A new name is worth a follow-up, and so is "nobody" if you hear it more than once or twice.
What was the funniest thing that happened today?
Why ask it
Funny is easier to find than a summary of the day, so this works when "what did you do" gets nothing. Expect something physical: a fall, a silly word, a noise someone made. The retelling will make less sense than the moment did, and laughing along is the right response.
What is something you are really good at?
Why ask it
Kindergarteners answer literally: tying shoes, running fast, helping with the dog. Ask to be shown if it can be shown. If nothing comes, leave the gap and try another day, because an answer you supply is yours and not theirs.
If you could be any animal, which one would you choose and why?
Why ask it
The animal matters less than the reason. "A cheetah because it runs fast" and "a cat because it sleeps all day" are different answers about what sounds good to them right now.
Who lives at your house with you, pets included?
Why ask it
A first-meeting question for a teacher, a sitter or a relative who visits once a year. Asking who lives at the house, and not about a mom and a dad, lets every kind of household answer without being corrected. If the stuffed animals get counted too, count them.
Do you want an easy question or a tricky one?
Why ask it
Letting them choose the kind of question turns it into a game they agreed to and not a quiz. Have one of each ready: plenty of children pick tricky and then want the easy one as well.
What should I ask you about today?
Why ask it
Hands over the steering wheel. A child who says "ask me about the caterpillars" has just named the one thing they were hoping to talk about, and saved you five guesses.
School Day
What is your favorite thing about school?
Why ask it
Answers are usually a person or a specific room, not a subject. "Nothing" repeated over several days is worth raising with the teacher rather than arguing about at home.
What is something new you learned today?
Why ask it
Expect "nothing" on plenty of days: a five-year-old does not sort the day into things learned and things done. Narrowing it helps, to a new word, a new song or something they found out about bugs. When a fact does arrive, let them explain it as if you had never heard of it.
Which center or corner of the classroom did you pick today?
Why ask it
Free-choice time is where a kindergartener gets to decide, so the answer shows what draws them: blocks, the art table, the pretend kitchen, books. If your school has another name for it, borrow the teacher's word and the question will land faster.
What book did your teacher read out loud today, and what happened in it?
Why ask it
Retelling a story in order is a real skill at this age, so expect the ending first and the middle never. "Who was in it?" is the easier way in when the plot is not coming.
What letter, sound or number is your class working on right now?
Why ask it
Gives you something to play with for the rest of the week: spotting the letter on signs, counting the stairs up to the number. Ask out of curiosity, and stop as soon as it starts to feel like homework.
Can you sing me a song you learned at school?
Why ask it
Many kindergarten rooms have a song for everything: saying hello, cleaning up, the days of the week. Asking for a performance gets more than asking what they sang. Join in badly and let them correct you.
Did you have art, music, gym or library today, and what did you do there?
Why ask it
Which of these a class gets, and on which day, differs from school to school, so look at the schedule the teacher sent home and ask about the right one by name. A different room and a different grown-up make that hour stand out from the rest of the day. Ask what they did with their hands or their feet and the answer often comes with a demonstration.
Who did you sit next to at lunch, and what did you eat first?
Why ask it
A seat and a lunchbox are things a five-year-old can picture, so this gets an answer on days when bigger questions do not. If the food keeps coming home uneaten, ask what happened before you change what you pack: it can be a lid they could not open or a lunch period that ended too soon.
What is in your folder or backpack today that you want to show me first?
Why ask it
A paper in the hand is easier to talk about than a memory from this morning. Let them choose which one comes out first, and ask how they made it before you say whether you like it.
What are the rules in your classroom, and which one is the hardest to follow?
Why ask it
Five-year-olds know the rules by heart and enjoy reciting them. The second half is the honest part: sitting still on the carpet and waiting for a turn come up a lot, and admitting a rule is hard is not the same as breaking it.
What felt tricky at school today?
Why ask it
"Tricky" is easier to admit to than "hard" or "bad," and it covers zippers, scissors and opening a milk carton as well as reading. Find out whether they asked anyone for help before you offer a fix.
What do you know about kindergarten that I do not know?
Why ask it
Makes them the expert on a room you only see at drop-off. You will hear where the line starts, who gets to hold the door and what the bell means, which is the detail "how was school" never reaches.
What are you hoping will happen at school tomorrow?
Why ask it
Best asked the evening before, when tomorrow is on their mind anyway. A hope ("I get to be line leader") shows what matters to them this week, and a child who hopes something will not happen is telling you about a worry.
Favorites
What is your favorite color, and why do you like it?
Why ask it
The color takes one second. The "why" is the stretch: a five-year-old asked for a reason will often make one up on the spot ("because it is the color of my cup"), which is fine and worth hearing.
What is your favorite book right now?
Why ask it
Ask which page is the best one and have them find it. A kindergartener who cannot read the words yet can often tell you the whole page from the picture, and that telling is worth sitting through even when you know the book by heart.
What is the yummiest food in the world, and what is the yuckiest?
Why ask it
The yucky half gets the longer answer, usually with a face. Treat it as news and not as a challenge: this week's yuckiest food may have been a favorite last month, and it may be again.
What is your favorite thing to do with your family?
Why ask it
Answers usually land on an ordinary routine rather than an outing. If a child picks pancakes on Saturday over a trip to the zoo, that is useful to know before you plan the next big day.
What show or movie do you like best right now, and who is the best character in it?
Why ask it
You probably know the show already, so the character is the real question. Whether they pick the brave one, the funny one or the one who makes trouble says more than the title does.
Which toy or stuffed animal sleeps closest to you, and what is its name?
Why ask it
The one nearest the pillow is the one that matters, whatever is newest on the shelf. That is worth knowing before a sleepover, a long trip or a turn in the washing machine, and the name is worth passing on to whoever does bedtime when you are away.
What is your favorite thing to do at the playground?
Why ask it
Swinging, digging, chasing and climbing are different kinds of play, and a child who picks the same one every time is showing you how they like to spend their energy. A teacher can use the answers to help a new child find someone to play with.
What is your favorite holiday, and what is the best part of it?
Why ask it
The best part is often not the presents. It tends to be one small ritual, such as lighting the candles, a cousin who visits or staying up late, and that is the piece to protect when the plans change.
Do you like sunny days, rainy days or snowy days best?
Why ask it
Three choices are an easy lift for a child who freezes on open questions, which makes this a good one for a shy student or a grandchild you do not see often. The reason is usually an activity: puddles, sleds, the pool.
Feelings and Friends
What is something that always makes you happy?
Why ask it
Children this age tend to answer with things and people, not feelings: the dog, a blanket, Grandpa's truck. What you get is a list of what they reach for when a day goes badly, and it is a handy list to have.
Was today a thumbs-up day, a thumbs-down day or a thumbs-in-the-middle day?
Why ask it
A thumb can answer before the words are ready, so this one works on a tired child in the back seat. Follow a middle or a down with "what made it that way?" and take the first thing they say.
How do you feel in the morning when it is time to go to school?
Why ask it
Ask on a calm afternoon, not at the door with one shoe on. Excited, sleepy and "I don't want to go" each call for a different response. If the reluctant answer keeps coming for a couple of weeks, bring it to the teacher, who sees the part of the morning you do not.
When you get really mad, what helps you calm down?
Why ask it
Save it for a time when nobody is mad. Whatever they come up with, whether that is squeezing a pillow, being alone or a drink of water, becomes a plan you can remind them of later in their own words.
Is there anything at school that makes your tummy feel funny?
Why ask it
A worry can show up as a sore stomach before a child has the words for it, and "funny tummy" gives them a way to point at it. The bus, the bathroom and the lunchroom are places to ask about by name. Listen first and hold the reassurance for a minute.
What is something that scares you, even a little bit?
Why ask it
Fears at five mix the real and the imagined: big dogs, the dark, a fire drill, the roaring hand dryer in the school bathroom. Saying there is nothing to be scared of can teach a child to stop mentioning it. Ask what would make it a little less scary, and try that.
When you are upset, do you want a hug, some quiet, or someone to talk to?
Why ask it
Most adults guess, and guess the thing they would want themselves. Three options let a five-year-old choose without having to explain, and the answer can change from one month to the next, so ask again.
Was there a time today when you missed home?
Why ask it
A full school day is long at five, and missing home in the middle of it is ordinary. When it happened (after lunch, at rest time) is more useful than whether it did, because you can plan something small for that moment, like a note in the lunchbox.
Who are your friends in your class, and what do you like to do together?
Why ask it
Leaves out the word "best" on purpose: friendships in a kindergarten class shift from week to week, and ranking them puts pressure on a child who has not settled on anyone yet. Pay attention to the "together" half, since for many five-year-olds a friend is whoever plays the same game.
What does a good friend do?
Why ask it
Kindergarten answers are actions: shares the red crayon, saves a spot on the carpet, lets you have the first turn. Turn it around afterwards and ask which of those they did for somebody lately. In a classroom the answers make a list the whole group can come back to.
What do you do if someone says you can't play?
Why ask it
Being left out of a game happens to most children sooner or later, so treat it as a practical question and not an alarm. If the only plan they have is to walk away sad, work out one more together: find another group, ask a different way, tell a teacher.
What is something nice that someone did for you today?
Why ask it
Kind moments are quieter than unkind ones and are often forgotten by pickup, so this sends their attention back to look for one. If nothing comes, mention one you saw yourself and leave it there.
Who could you help today, and how?
Why ask it
One for the morning, on the way in. "Be kind" is too large to act on at five, while helping a classmate with a stuck zipper is something a child can do before lunch. Whoever they name is someone they have been watching.
Pretend
What superpower would you pick, and what would you do with it first?
Why ask it
The power itself tends to come from a cartoon. What they do with it first is their own: reach the top shelf, beat the bus to school, see through wrapping paper. A power aimed at a real problem deserves a follow-up.
If you had a magic wand, what would you wish for?
Why ask it
Wishes tend to be either very small or very large with nothing in between, and both are informative: a lost toy returned, or a sick grandparent well again.
If you could have any pet, what would you pick?
Why ask it
The reason shows whether they want company, something to look after, or something impressive to tell other children about. Those are not the same wish.
If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Why ask it
Expect Grandma's house, last summer's beach or the place where a favorite film is set, since few five-year-olds have a country in mind. Ask who is coming and what goes in the suitcase, and you get the rest of the trip.
If you made up a new game, how would someone win it?
Why ask it
Asking how you win brings the rules out into the open, and a five-year-old's rules tend to favor the inventor. Play one round exactly as described. It will be short, the rules will change halfway, and they will remember that you played.
If you were the teacher for a day, what would the class do?
Why ask it
What goes on their timetable is what they wish there were more of, and it is nearly always recess, snack or a favorite story. Notice what gets left off as well. A teacher who asks this gets an honest review of the schedule.
Would you rather have a tail like a monkey or wings like a butterfly?
Why ask it
A choice between two pictures is easy to start on, and neither answer can be wrong. Ask what they would do with it first, then let them ask you one back: making up a would-you-rather is harder than answering one.
If you were the grown-up tomorrow, what would we eat for breakfast and when would bedtime be?
Why ask it
Two concrete decisions keep this from drifting into "I would do everything." The answers are a clear look at the rules they mind most, and it is fine to laugh at cake for breakfast without promising it.
If you had a robot helper, what job would you give it first?
Why ask it
The first job is usually the task they like least, so you find out what feels like a burden at five: putting on socks, cleaning up blocks, carrying the backpack. Now and then a child gives the robot a job that helps somebody else, and that deserves a comment.
If a friendly dinosaur followed you to school, where would it sit?
Why ask it
A silly problem with real logistics in it. Working out where it fits, what it eats at lunch and what the teacher would say is storytelling practice, and a group of children will build on each other's answers.
If you drew a treasure map, where would you hide the treasure?
Why ask it
A map can be drawn by a child who cannot write yet, so hand over paper and let the answer become a real one. Where the X goes (under the bed, at Grandma's, in the sandbox) is a tour of the places they think of as theirs.
What do you think your teacher does after all the kids go home?
Why ask it
Plenty of young children half believe the teacher lives at school, so the guesses are a treat: sleeping under the desk, eating all the snacks. Teachers can ask it about themselves and then give the true, boring answer.
Growing Up
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Why ask it
Treat the answer as a description of what looks appealing, not a plan. Asking what that person does all day usually produces the more interesting half of the conversation.
What is something you want to learn how to do?
Why ask it
Gives you something you can set up: whistling, snapping fingers, riding without training wheels. Start within a few days, while they still remember asking, and expect the first lesson to be a short one.
What is something you did that made you proud of yourself?
Why ask it
Different from asking what they are good at. This one is about effort, so answers often involve something hard they finished rather than something easy they do well.
What can you do all by yourself now that you used to need help with?
Why ask it
Kindergarten is a year of small independences, and children rarely notice their own until someone asks. Zipping a coat or pouring milk counts. Come back to it near the end of the year and let them hear how long the list has become.
What is something you were nervous to try and then did anyway?
Why ask it
Hands them a working definition of brave that includes being scared first. Remember the story, because "you were nervous about the big slide too" is more convincing than "you'll be fine" the next time they hang back.
What could you teach me how to do?
Why ask it
Take the lesson if one is offered, even if it is how to draw a cat or do a somersault. An adult who follows the steps exactly as given shows a child very quickly which step they skipped.
What job at home are you big enough to do now?
Why ask it
Framed as a promotion and not a chore. Many kindergarten classrooms hand out jobs, so a matching one at home, such as feeding the cat or setting out the spoons, tends to go over well. Start with the job they named themselves.
What do you think is the best part of being a grown-up?
Why ask it
Here is adulthood as seen from three feet up: staying up late, having a phone, driving, nobody saying no. It works as a mirror, so be ready to hear something about yourself.
What do you think first grade will be like?
Why ask it
One for the last months of the year, when the older children in the hallway start to look interesting and a little alarming. Wrong ideas ("there is no playing") are easy to correct once you have heard them, and the teacher can tell you what is true at your school.
What is something you wonder about that nobody has explained yet?
Why ask it
Kindergarteners ask why all day, and this hands them the floor on purpose. You do not have to know the answer. "I'm not sure, how could we find out?" beats a guess, and it gives you a reason to go to the library.
Talking with a five-year-old
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
What Helps
Ask While You Are Both Doing Something Else
Many children this age talk more easily while drawing, in the bath or on a walk than seated across from an adult who is waiting. Being looked at and waited on can feel like a test.
Count to Ten Before You Rephrase
Ask, then count slowly to ten in your head. A five-year-old who looks blank is often still working on it, and a reworded question sends them back to the start. If ten goes by with nothing, offer two choices instead of asking again.
Ask About One Moment, Not the Whole Day
"How was school?" asks a child to sum up a whole school day, which is a lot to ask at five. "Who did you sit next to at lunch?" asks for one moment, and one moment is something they can find.
Match the Group to the Moment
Starters and School Day questions suit the hour after school, once a snack has gone down. Favorites are the ones for a grandparent on the phone or a child you have only just met. Pretend travels well on a long drive or in a waiting room. The Feelings and Friends questions get longer answers at bedtime, and the Growing Up ones belong to a birthday, a first day or the last week of the year.
When to Ask
- The first minutes after pickup are often the hardest window: many children are hungry, tired and out of words. Try again after a snack.
- Bedtime produces longer answers, partly because talking delays lights out. Let that work in your favor.
- Two or three questions is a conversation. Six in a row is an interview, and children can tell the difference.
- With siblings in the room, the older one will often answer first. Ask each child on their own.
In a Classroom
- One question at morning meeting or on the carpet is plenty. Favorites and Pretend suit a group best, because every answer is safe to say out loud.
- Let children tell a partner before anyone tells the whole class. A child who has said the answer once will say it a second time more easily.
- Give quiet children, and those still learning the language of the classroom, a way in that needs no speech: a thumb, a drawing, pointing at one of two pictures.
- Keep the questions about worries, anger and missing home for one-to-one moments. A five-year-old should not have to explain a worry with the whole class listening. The friendship ones, such as what a good friend does, work well on the carpet.
What Shuts It Down
Correcting the Grammar Mid-Story
Fixing "runned" while they are talking moves their attention from the story to the mistake. Use the correct form naturally in your own reply instead.
Improving on Their Answer
If the best part of the day was snack, resist adding "and the field trip." Children learn quickly to give the answer that got the warmer reaction.
Pushing After a No
A refusal is usually about the moment, not the topic. The same question often lands fine later the same day, or tomorrow.
Follow-Ups That Get More
- "And then what happened?"
- "Who else was there?"
- "Show me how you did it."
- "Was that the funny part or the annoying part?" Two options is easier than an open question at this age.
When They Ask the Questions
- Kindergarteners ask at least as many questions as they answer, and a long run of whys is often a wish to keep talking with you more than a wish for facts.
- Answer in a sentence or two, then ask what they think. Their theory shows what they already understand, and it is usually the more interesting half.
- "I don't know, let's find out" is a complete answer. So is "I need to think about that one" for the big questions, as long as you come back to it.