Good Questions to Ask Teenagers
Thoughtful questions to connect with teenagers, showing genuine interest in their world while respecting their growing independence and unique perspective on life.
1What's something you're really excited about right now, and why does it matter to you?
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What's something you're really excited about right now, and why does it matter to you?
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Why this works
Opens conversation about their current interests and passions, showing genuine interest in what's important to them without being intrusive.
2What's the best part of being your age, and what's the most challenging?
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What's the best part of being your age, and what's the most challenging?
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Why this works
Acknowledges both the positive and difficult aspects of being a teenager, validating their experiences while understanding their perspective.
3If you could change one thing about school, what would it be and why?
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If you could change one thing about school, what would it be and why?
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Why this works
Gives them a safe space to express frustrations about school while showing interest in their educational experience and ideas for improvement.
4What's something you've learned about yourself recently that surprised you?
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What's something you've learned about yourself recently that surprised you?
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Why this works
Encourages self-reflection and personal growth awareness, showing interest in their developing identity and self-understanding.
5Who are the people in your life who really understand you, and what makes them special?
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Who are the people in your life who really understand you, and what makes them special?
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Why this works
Reveals their support system and relationships, showing interest in their social connections and what they value in friendships.
6What's something you're proud of that you've accomplished this year?
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What's something you're proud of that you've accomplished this year?
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Why this works
Celebrates their achievements and successes, building their confidence and showing recognition for their efforts and growth.
7If you could give advice to someone starting high school, what would you tell them?
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If you could give advice to someone starting high school, what would you tell them?
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Why this works
Allows them to share wisdom and experience, showing respect for their knowledge while giving them a chance to be helpful to others.
8What's something you wish adults understood better about teenagers?
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What's something you wish adults understood better about teenagers?
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Why this works
Gives them a voice to express their perspective on generational differences and helps adults understand their world better.
9What's something you're looking forward to in the next few years?
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What's something you're looking forward to in the next few years?
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Why this works
Explores their hopes and dreams for the future, showing interest in their aspirations and goals without being overwhelming.
10What's the most interesting thing you've discovered or learned recently?
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What's the most interesting thing you've discovered or learned recently?
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Why this works
Encourages sharing of their learning and discoveries, showing interest in their intellectual curiosity and growth.
11How do you handle stress or pressure when things get overwhelming?
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How do you handle stress or pressure when things get overwhelming?
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Why this works
Reveals their coping strategies and resilience, while showing concern for their well-being and offering support if needed.
12What's something you're really good at that you enjoy doing?
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What's something you're really good at that you enjoy doing?
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Why this works
Highlights their strengths and talents, building their confidence and showing appreciation for their abilities and interests.
13If you could spend a day doing anything you wanted, what would you choose and why?
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If you could spend a day doing anything you wanted, what would you choose and why?
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Why this works
Reveals their interests and preferences in a fun, non-threatening way, showing interest in their ideal activities and motivations.
14What's something you've changed your mind about recently, and what made you change it?
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What's something you've changed your mind about recently, and what made you change it?
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Why this works
Shows their capacity for growth and change, revealing their critical thinking skills and openness to new perspectives.
15What's the best advice you've ever received, and who gave it to you?
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What's the best advice you've ever received, and who gave it to you?
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Why this works
Reveals their values and the people who influence them, showing respect for their relationships and the wisdom they've received.
16What's something you're curious about that you'd like to learn more about?
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What's something you're curious about that you'd like to learn more about?
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Why this works
Encourages their intellectual curiosity and shows interest in their learning goals and areas of interest.
17How do you like to spend time with your friends, and what makes those times special?
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How do you like to spend time with your friends, and what makes those times special?
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Why this works
Explores their social preferences and relationships, showing interest in their friendships and social activities.
18What's something you've accomplished that required you to step outside your comfort zone?
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What's something you've accomplished that required you to step outside your comfort zone?
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Why this works
Celebrates their courage and growth, showing recognition for their willingness to try new things and take risks.
19What's something you wish you could do more of, and what's stopping you?
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What's something you wish you could do more of, and what's stopping you?
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Why this works
Reveals their desires and potential obstacles, offering insight into their goals and challenges while showing support for their aspirations.
20What's something you're grateful for that you might not have appreciated a few years ago?
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What's something you're grateful for that you might not have appreciated a few years ago?
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Why this works
Shows their growing maturity and appreciation for life, revealing their developing perspective and gratitude.
Best Practices for Talking with Teenagers
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Best Practices
Listen More Than You Talk
Give teenagers space to share their thoughts and feelings without interrupting or immediately offering advice or solutions.
Show Genuine Interest
Ask follow-up questions and show that you're truly interested in their perspective, not just going through the motions.
Respect Their Independence
Acknowledge their growing autonomy and decision-making abilities while still being available for guidance and support.
Question Sequences
The Interest Discovery
The Perspective Check
Common Pitfalls
Don't Lecture or Preach
Avoid turning conversations into teaching moments or lectures. Focus on listening and understanding their perspective.
Don't Dismiss Their Feelings
Take their emotions and experiences seriously, even if they seem trivial from an adult perspective.
Don't Compare to Your Experience
Avoid saying things like 'when I was your age' or comparing their experience to yours, as their world is different.