19 Questions

Inappropriate Questions to Ask Coworkers

A guide to understanding what questions are inappropriate in professional settings, helping you maintain respectful workplace relationships and avoid uncomfortable situations.

1

What's your salary, and how much do you make compared to others in the company?

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Why this works

Salary discussions can create tension and resentment in the workplace. While salary transparency is important for equity, asking directly about someone's pay can make them uncomfortable and violate their privacy.

2

Are you planning to have children, and when do you think you'll start a family?

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Why this works

Questions about family planning are personal and can be discriminatory. They may also create bias in performance evaluations and career advancement decisions.

3

What's your political affiliation, and who did you vote for in the last election?

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Why this works

Political discussions can create division and tension in the workplace. They're also personal and not relevant to professional relationships or job performance.

4

What's your religious background, and do you practice any specific faith?

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Why this works

Religious beliefs are personal and private. Asking about someone's faith can make them uncomfortable and may violate their right to religious freedom in the workplace.

5

How old are you, and when do you plan to retire?

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Why this works

Age-related questions can be discriminatory and may violate employment laws. They can also create bias in hiring, promotion, and performance evaluation decisions.

6

What's your relationship status, and are you seeing anyone romantically?

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Why this works

Personal relationship questions are inappropriate in professional settings. They can make coworkers uncomfortable and may create an unprofessional atmosphere.

7

What's your sexual orientation, and how do you identify?

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Why this works

Questions about sexual orientation are personal and inappropriate in professional settings. They can make coworkers uncomfortable and may violate their privacy rights.

8

What's your health status, and do you have any medical conditions?

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Why this works

Health information is private and protected by law. Asking about someone's medical condition can violate their privacy and may be discriminatory.

9

What's your family background, and where are your parents from?

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Why this works

Questions about family background can be inappropriate and may touch on sensitive topics like immigration status, ethnicity, or socioeconomic background.

10

What's your financial situation, and do you have any debt or financial problems?

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Why this works

Financial information is personal and private. Asking about someone's financial situation can make them uncomfortable and is not relevant to professional relationships.

11

What's your living situation, and do you own or rent your home?

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Why this works

Housing and living arrangements are personal and not relevant to professional relationships. These questions can make coworkers uncomfortable and may touch on sensitive topics.

12

What's your educational background, and where did you go to school?

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Why this works

While education may be relevant to job qualifications, asking about someone's educational background in a casual way can be inappropriate and may touch on sensitive topics.

13

What's your social media presence, and can I add you on Facebook or Instagram?

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Why this works

Social media connections can blur professional boundaries and may make coworkers uncomfortable. It's better to maintain professional relationships through work-appropriate channels.

14

What's your personal life like outside of work, and how do you spend your free time?

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Why this works

While some casual conversation is normal, asking too much about someone's personal life can make them uncomfortable and may cross professional boundaries.

15

What's your opinion on controversial topics, and do you agree with my views?

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Why this works

Controversial topics can create tension and division in the workplace. It's better to avoid these discussions to maintain a professional and respectful environment.

16

What's your relationship with other coworkers, and do you have any conflicts with anyone?

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Why this works

Questions about workplace relationships can create drama and tension. It's better to focus on professional collaboration and avoid gossip or personal conflicts.

17

What's your career goals, and are you planning to leave the company soon?

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Why this works

While career discussions can be appropriate in certain contexts, asking directly about someone's plans to leave can make them uncomfortable and may create tension.

18

What's your performance review like, and how do you think you're doing compared to others?

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Why this works

Performance discussions are private and should be handled through proper channels. Asking about someone's performance can make them uncomfortable and may violate confidentiality.

19

What's your relationship with management, and do you have any issues with your supervisor?

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Why this works

Questions about management relationships can create tension and may put coworkers in uncomfortable positions. It's better to focus on professional collaboration and avoid workplace politics.

Best Practices for Professional Communication

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Focus on Professional Topics

Keep conversations focused on work-related topics, projects, and professional development. This maintains a respectful and productive workplace environment.

Respect Boundaries

Be mindful of personal boundaries and avoid asking questions that could make coworkers uncomfortable. When in doubt, err on the side of caution and keep conversations professional.

Be Inclusive and Respectful

Avoid questions that could be discriminatory or offensive. Focus on creating an inclusive environment where everyone feels comfortable and respected.

Appropriate Alternatives

Instead of Personal Questions

1
Instead of asking about salary, ask: "What skills do you think are most important for career advancement?"
2
Instead of asking about family plans, ask: "What professional development opportunities are you most interested in?"
3
Instead of asking about political views, ask: "What industry trends are you most excited about?"

Professional Conversation Starters

1
Start with: "What projects are you working on that you're most excited about?"
2
Follow with: "What skills are you looking to develop this year?"
3
Deepen with: "What professional goals are you working towards?"

Common Pitfalls

Don't Ask Personal Questions

Avoid questions about salary, family, relationships, health, or other personal topics. These can make coworkers uncomfortable and may violate their privacy.

Don't Discuss Controversial Topics

Avoid discussions about politics, religion, or other controversial topics that could create tension or division in the workplace.

Don't Gossip or Spread Rumors

Avoid questions about other coworkers' personal lives or workplace relationships. Focus on professional collaboration and avoid workplace drama.

Conversation Templates

The Professional Collaborator

1
Step 1: Start with: "What projects are you working on that you're most excited about?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "What skills are you looking to develop this year?"
3
Step 3: Deepen with: "What professional goals are you working towards?"

The Team Player

1
Step 1: Start with: "How can I support your current projects?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "What collaboration opportunities are you most interested in?"
3
Step 3: Deepen with: "What team goals are you working towards?"

Further Reading

"The Art of Conversation" by Catherine Blyth
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie
"The Charisma Myth" by Olivia Fox Cabane
"Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss

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