20 Questions

Middle School Questions to Ask

Age-appropriate conversation starters that help middle schoolers open up, build friendships, and develop social skills during this crucial developmental stage.

1

What's the best thing that happened to you this week?

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Why this works

Simple positive opener that encourages sharing good news and helps build rapport through positive experiences.

2

If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

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Why this works

Fun, imaginative question that reveals personality traits and values while being universally engaging for this age group.

3

What's your favorite subject in school and what makes it interesting to you?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their academic life while allowing them to express passion and explain their learning preferences.

4

If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and what would you do there?

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Why this works

Opens up discussion about interests, dreams, and cultural awareness while being exciting and aspirational.

5

What's something you're really good at that you're proud of?

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Why this works

Builds self-esteem by encouraging them to share accomplishments and helps you learn about their talents and interests.

6

Who is someone you really look up to and what do you admire about them?

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Why this works

Reveals their values and role models while encouraging reflection on positive character traits they aspire to.

7

What's the funniest thing that happened to you recently?

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Why this works

Light-hearted question that encourages storytelling and helps build connection through shared laughter.

8

If you could change one thing about school, what would it be?

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Why this works

Gives them a safe space to express opinions about their environment while showing you value their perspective.

9

What's something new you've learned recently that surprised you?

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Why this works

Encourages curiosity and learning while allowing them to share knowledge and show intellectual growth.

10

What do you like to do when you have free time?

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Why this works

Reveals hobbies and interests while giving insight into how they choose to spend their personal time.

11

If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be and what would you talk about?

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Why this works

Encourages deeper thinking about interests and values while being an engaging hypothetical scenario.

12

What's something that makes you feel really happy or excited?

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Why this works

Focuses on positive emotions and helps you understand what brings them joy and motivation.

13

What's the most interesting thing about your family?

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Why this works

Allows them to share family dynamics in a positive way while being respectful of different family structures.

14

If you could create a new school club, what would it be and why?

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Why this works

Encourages creativity and leadership thinking while revealing their interests and organizational ideas.

15

What's something you're looking forward to in the next few months?

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Why this works

Helps them focus on future goals and excitement while revealing their priorities and aspirations.

16

What's the best advice someone has ever given you?

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Why this works

Encourages reflection on wisdom they've received while revealing what guidance has been meaningful to them.

17

If you could solve one problem in the world, what would it be?

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Why this works

Develops empathy and global thinking while revealing their values and concerns about the world around them.

18

What's something you're working on getting better at?

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Why this works

Shows growth mindset and self-awareness while encouraging them to share personal development goals.

19

What's your favorite way to spend time with friends?

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Why this works

Reveals social preferences and activities while showing interest in their friendships and social life.

20

If you could give advice to someone starting middle school, what would you tell them?

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Why this works

Encourages reflection on their own experience while allowing them to share wisdom and help others.

Connecting with Middle Schoolers

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Keep It Age-Appropriate

Use language and topics that match their developmental stage. Avoid overly complex concepts while still challenging their thinking.

Show Genuine Interest

Listen actively and ask follow-up questions. Middle schoolers can tell when adults aren't really paying attention.

Be Patient with Responses

Give them time to think and don't rush their answers. Some kids need more processing time than others.

Question Sequences

The Interest Explorer

1
What's your favorite subject in school?
2
What makes that subject interesting to you?
3
Have you always been interested in that, or is it something new?
4
What's the coolest thing you've learned about it recently?

The Friendship Builder

1
What's your favorite way to spend time with friends?
2
What makes someone a good friend to you?
3
How do you like to meet new people?
4
What's something fun you and your friends do together?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Be Too Personal Too Fast

Avoid asking about family problems, relationships, or sensitive topics until you've built trust and rapport.

Don't Compare to Others

Avoid questions that might make them feel judged or compared to siblings, friends, or classmates.

Don't Rush the Conversation

Let the conversation flow naturally. Don't fire off questions like an interview - make it feel like a genuine chat.

Conversation Templates

The Positive Opener

1
Step 1: Start with: "What's the best thing that happened to you this week?"
2
Step 2: Listen and respond with genuine interest
3
Step 3: Follow up with: "That sounds awesome! Tell me more about..."
4
Step 4: Connect with: "I love hearing about things that make you happy!"

The Dream Explorer

1
Step 1: Begin with: "If you could do anything when you grow up, what would it be?"
2
Step 2: Explore with: "What makes that sound exciting to you?"
3
Step 3: Investigate with: "What would you need to learn to do that?"
4
Step 4: Encourage with: "That sounds like it would be really fulfilling!"

Further Reading

"The Teenage Brain" by Frances E. Jensen
"Middle School: The Inside Story" by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias
"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

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