Questions for Daycare Providers to Ask Parents
Twenty-two questions for a daycare intake meeting, in roughly the order they are easiest to ask: the shape of a morning at home, allergies and feeding, naps and toileting, how the child shows distress and what settles them, medical history, who may collect them, and what is happening in the family right now. Written for the provider filling in the enrolment forms and trying to get useful answers rather than complete ones.
The questions
Open any question for the note
Walk me through a normal morning at home. What time do they wake, and what do they eat?
Why ask it
Starting with narrative rather than a form gets more detail and relaxes a nervous parent. It also tells you what state the child will arrive in: a child woken at six and fed in the car behaves differently from one who has had an hour at home.
What name do they go by, and is there anything else they are called at home?
Why ask it
Using the family's own name from the first day shortens settling in considerably. Ask how it is pronounced and write it phonetically, because getting a child's name wrong for a week is a poor start with both child and parent.
Are there any allergies or foods we must not give, and what happens if they eat one by accident?
Why ask it
Separate genuine allergy from intolerance and from preference, since parents often use one word for all three. For anything with a risk of reaction, ask for it in writing from the doctor and get the medication and the plan before the first day.
What do they normally eat and drink across a day, and how would you like us to handle refusals?
Why ask it
Practice differs sharply between families, from encouraging one more bite to leaving it entirely. Agreeing this now avoids the common complaint that a child was either forced to eat or came home hungry.
How do naps work: how long, where, and is there anything they need to fall asleep?
Why ask it
Ask about the object or ritual specifically, and about whether they are rocked, held, or put down awake. A child who has never slept anywhere but a parent's arms needs a plan, not a mat and a hope.
Where are you with nappies or toilet training, and what words do you use at home?
Why ask it
Using different words is a frequent cause of accidents in the first weeks. Also ask what they do about accidents at home, so your response matches and the child is not surprised by it.
How do they let you know something is wrong, and what actually helps?
Why ask it
You are asking for the signs before the crying: going quiet, hovering at the edge of a room, one particular word. Parents know these and rarely think to volunteer them, and knowing them cuts your response time in half.
What do they do when they are tired or overwhelmed, and what do you do then?
Why ask it
Tiredness in young children often looks like defiance, and mistaking one for the other is the most common source of avoidable conflict in a group setting. Ask what the last hour before bed looks like at home for a comparison.
When they hit, bite, or refuse to do something at home, how do you handle it? Is there anything you would not want us to do?
Why ask it
The second half is the important part and rarely gets asked. It surfaces objections to time-outs, raised voices, or removal of toys before they become a complaint, and it lets you say plainly what your setting does and does not do.
Have they been in group care or with another minder before? How did drop-off go?
Why ask it
Previous experience predicts the first fortnight better than temperament does. If they left a previous arrangement, ask why, without pressing, since the answer often tells you what this family is worried will happen again.
Who is at home, and who else looks after them regularly?
Why ask it
Siblings, grandparents, and shift patterns explain a great deal about a child's day-to-day life and vocabulary. Ask this plainly rather than assuming a structure, and record what the child calls each person.
Who is allowed to collect them, and is there anyone who must not?
Why ask it
Ask directly and record it, including whether there is a court order or a custody arrangement. This is the question providers most often skip out of awkwardness and most regret skipping.
How should we reach you during the day, and who do we call first?
Why ask it
Get two numbers, note who is unreachable during the day, and establish what counts as worth a call for this family. Some parents want to hear about a small bump, others find that alarming, and it is easier to agree now.
Are there any medical conditions, medications, or recent hospital visits we should know about?
Why ask it
Ask about asthma, seizures, and febrile convulsions by name, because parents often do not think to mention a condition that is currently well controlled. Anything requiring medication needs written authorisation and a named person trained to give it.
Is there anything from their doctor or health visitor we should have on file?
Why ask it
This covers immunisation records, growth or feeding concerns, and referrals in progress. Asking for the paperwork now is much easier than requesting it during an incident.
Has anyone raised a question about their speech, hearing, movement, or eating?
Why ask it
Phrasing it as whether anyone has raised it, rather than whether there is a problem, makes it far easier to answer. Parents in the middle of a waiting list often assume you already know, and a child on a referral pathway needs consistent notes from you.
What languages are spoken at home, and how much does your child understand of each?
Why ask it
A child who understands more than they can say in your language is easily mistaken for being behind. Ask for a handful of words you can use for toilet, food, and hurt, since those three matter on day one.
Are there foods, holidays, or practices we should observe or avoid?
Why ask it
Ask openly rather than inferring from a name or an assumption. Also ask what to do if the family's practice conflicts with a planned activity, so the answer is agreed rather than improvised in front of the child.
Is anything happening at home at the moment that might show up here?
Why ask it
A new baby, a move, a separation, an illness, or a parent working away all reliably change behaviour in a nursery. Parents often withhold this until asked directly, and knowing it turns an unexplained regression into an expected one.
What worries you most about leaving them with us?
Why ask it
Asked plainly, this gets the real concern, which is usually about a specific thing: crying, being missed in a group, food, or an earlier setting that let them down. It also gives you something concrete to report back on in the first week.
What would you want to hear from us at the end of the day, and how much detail do you want?
Why ask it
Expectations vary from a photo to a five-minute conversation, and unmet expectations here are the main reason parents lose confidence in a setting. Agree it now and say honestly what you can sustain at pick-up time.
Is there anything I have not asked about, or anything you would rather tell me privately?
Why ask it
Leave a silence after this one. It is where you hear about the difficult things: a family bereavement, a court matter, a health worry, or something the child should not hear discussed.
Running the intake conversation
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Setting up the meeting
- Do this before the first day, not on it. A parent handing over a crying child cannot answer twenty questions, and neither can you.
- Sit down and talk rather than working through the form aloud. Fill the form in afterwards from your notes, and send it back for the parent to check.
- Have the child present for part of it and occupied for the rest. Some answers should not be given in front of them.
- If there are two parents and they do not live together, offer each the chance to answer separately. Their accounts of routines often differ, and both are useful.
- Say at the start what you are legally required to record and what you must report. Parents answer more openly when they know where the limits are.
Getting answers you can act on
- Ask for the last time rather than the usual. What happened at bedtime last night is more accurate than a description of their bedtime routine.
- Do not accept a single word on allergies, medication, or collection. Those three need specifics, in writing, with dates.
- Ask what they would not want you to do. Parents will criticise an approach they have already seen but rarely volunteer a preference unprompted.
- Write the parent's own words down, including the family's terms for the toilet, comfort objects, and food. Paraphrasing loses exactly the detail that helps.
- Notice what a parent skips past quickly. It is often the thing worth returning to gently later, once you have some trust.
The first few weeks
- 1Report back on the specific worry the parent named, by name, in the first few days. Nothing builds confidence faster than showing you listened.
- 2Revisit naps, food, and toileting after two weeks. Early answers describe home, and children behave differently in a group.
- 3Tell parents about small incidents the same day, before they hear it from the child. Late news reads as concealment even when nothing was hidden.
- 4Record what settled the child and what did not, and share it. Parents frequently take a technique home from the setting rather than the other way round.
- 5If your observations differ from what you were told at intake, raise it as an observation rather than a correction, and ask what they see at home.