Questions to Ask 7 Year Olds
Questions for seven-year-olds that get past yes and no: school and lunchtime, friendships and what makes a good friend, what they are proud of, what annoys them about adults, and what they would change if they were in charge.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What's the best thing that happened today?
Why ask it
A seven-year-old can now rank their day rather than just report the last thing in it. If the answer is always break time, that is worth noticing: it usually means the classroom part of the day is not going well.
What made you laugh today?
Why ask it
The easiest opener in the set, and often the only one that gets a story with a beginning and an end. Whether the joke is theirs or someone else's tells you where they sit in the social order of the class.
What's your favorite subject, and which one do you like least?
Why ask it
Asking for both halves stops the polite answer. Children this age often dislike a subject because of one specific thing, such as reading aloud or being timed, and they will say so if you ask what the worst part is.
What are you reading or watching at the moment?
Why ask it
You are finding out what they choose when nobody assigns it. A child who names something well below their reading level is usually rereading for comfort, which is fine and not a sign of trouble.
Who do you sit with at lunch?
Why ask it
More revealing than asking who their friends are, because seating is decided by whoever will make room. Hesitation or a different answer each day is the clearest early signal that lunchtime is hard.
If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
Why ask it
The why is the part that matters. Invisibility and super strength point at different worries, and children will often explain the specific situation they had in mind if you wait rather than moving on.
If you could be any animal for a day, which one would you choose?
Why ask it
Answers here are usually about wanting to be fast, big, or left alone. It is an easier way to reach that than asking directly how they feel about themselves.
Who is your best friend, and what do you like about them?
Why ask it
By seven, best friend has become a title with some meaning, and the reasons given are worth listening to. Reasons about being funny or good at football are common. Reasons about being included are a sign the friendship is doing real work.
What do you think makes someone a good friend?
Why ask it
This gets a general answer that often does not match the friend they just described, and the gap is the interesting part. It is also a natural opening to talk about what to do when a friend is unkind.
What's something new you learned this week?
Why ask it
Expect a fact rather than a skill, since children this age collect facts eagerly. If they cannot think of anything, ask about something they made or fixed instead, which is easier to retrieve.
If you could invent something to make your day easier, what would it be?
Why ask it
The invention points straight at whatever part of the day they find hardest, whether that is getting dressed, homework or a sibling. It gets there without asking them to complain.
What's something you're good at that most people don't know about?
Why ask it
The qualifier gives them permission to name something small and unofficial, which is usually more honest than answers about school subjects. A child who cannot answer may only ever have been praised for results.
If you could change one rule at school, which one would you change?
Why ask it
Answers tend to be very specific: a line-up rule, a rule about talking, a rule about the toilets. That specificity tells you what actually constrains their day, which rarely comes up otherwise.
What would you do if you were in charge of the house for a day?
Why ask it
Watch whether they abolish rules or invent new ones for everyone else. Children who impose rules on adults are usually telling you which household rules they find unfair.
If you made up a new holiday, what would it celebrate?
Why ask it
One of the few questions here that has no right answer, so it is a good recovery if earlier questions have felt like a test. What they choose to honour is often a person or an animal in their own life.
If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go, and what would you do first?
Why ask it
The second half stops it becoming a list of place names. Most children describe an activity they could do far closer to home, which is useful to know before planning anything expensive.
Is there something adults do that annoys you?
Why ask it
Asked plainly, this gets a plain answer, often about being interrupted, rushed, or having their things moved. Taking one of those seriously buys more trust than a dozen encouraging questions.
When was the last time you felt proud of yourself?
Why ask it
Note whether the pride comes from the achievement or from someone noticing. Children who can only recall being praised are learning to look outward for the verdict, and it is worth pointing out effort they did unwitnessed.
What's something that scares you a bit?
Why ask it
Seven-year-olds have moved from monsters to plausible fears such as burglars, illness or getting lost, and they know these are real, so blanket reassurance does not land. Ask what would make it feel less scary instead.
What do you want to be when you grow up, and what do you think that job is like all day?
Why ask it
The second half is where the real answer is. It shows what they imagine the work involves, and it often turns out they want one specific part of it, such as driving the van or wearing the uniform.
Talking with a seven-year-old
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Getting more than one word
Ask about a moment, not a period
"How was school?" covers six hours and gets "fine". "What happened at break?" or "Who did you work with in maths?" gives them one scene to describe. Narrow the window and the answers get longer.
Ask for both halves
Best and worst, favourite and least favourite. Offering the negative half openly removes the sense that they are supposed to give a cheerful answer, and it is usually the negative half that you needed to hear.
Answer it yourself first sometimes
Saying what annoyed you today, briefly and honestly, makes the same question answerable. Keep your version short, or it becomes your turn rather than theirs.
When to ask
- In the car, where nobody has to make eye contact and the conversation has a natural end.
- At bedtime, which gets the most reflective answers but also the most stalling, so keep it to one question.
- While doing something with your hands together: cooking, building, walking the dog.
- Not in the first ten minutes after school. Most children need food and silence before they can talk about the day.
- One to one, away from siblings, if you are asking about friendships.
What to do with hard answers
- If they mention being left out, ask what happened rather than who is to blame. The story usually involves a game with limited places rather than deliberate exclusion, and the fix is different.
- If they name a fear, ask what would help. A seven-year-old can often produce a practical answer, such as a light left on or knowing the plan for pick-up.
- Do not solve it in the same conversation. Say you will think about it and come back to it, then actually do.
- Avoid telling them a worry is silly. At this age they can tell the difference between a fear and a fantasy, and being corrected teaches them not to raise it again.