Questions to Ask a Funeral Home
Twenty questions for choosing between funeral homes rather than for the arrangement meeting itself: who owns the business, who will be with you on the day, what a complete funeral costs there, which crematorium or cemetery they use, how the body is cared for, whether the building suits your family, and how prepaid money is held.
The questions
Open any question for the note
Who owns this business, and is it part of a larger group?
Why ask it
Plenty of homes trading under a family name belong to national groups, with the local name kept after acquisition. That is not automatically worse, but pricing and packages are often set centrally, which limits what the person in front of you can adjust.
Who will be looking after us, and will that be the same person on the day?
Why ask it
Continuity is what families remember afterwards. Some homes have one arranger take the details and a different member of staff present at the funeral. Ask for a name and whether you can reach that person directly rather than through a switchboard.
How many funerals do you arrange in a year?
Why ask it
Volume tells you two things: whether they handle your kind of arrangement often, and whether a very busy business can still give you an unhurried hour. A small operation is not a problem. Unfamiliarity with what you specifically need is.
Can we see your price list before we discuss anything else?
Why ask it
Asking for figures first sets the shape of the entire meeting. A home that prefers to talk through options before prices is not necessarily hiding anything, but decisions made with the list already in front of you tend to be ones families stand by.
What would a complete funeral here cost, including everything you would bill us for?
Why ask it
Ask for one finished number rather than a starting price. The distance between an advertised from figure and a final total, once collection, care, a coffin, and third party fees are in, is where most unpleasant surprises are found.
Do you carry out cremation yourselves, and if not, which crematorium do you use?
Why ask it
Many homes do not own a crematorium and use one some distance away, which affects timing, travel for mourners, and cost. Knowing which one lets you check its charges and its waiting times yourself.
Where will the person be kept before the funeral, and is refrigeration used?
Why ask it
Care before the funeral is rarely volunteered and is entirely fair to ask about, including whether they remain on these premises. The ease with which the question is answered often tells you as much as the answer does.
Could we look at the rooms we would be using?
Why ask it
Ask to see them rather than photographs. Families notice things in person, the state of the building, whether a viewing room is genuinely private, whether the chapel feels right, that no brochure communicates.
How many people does your chapel or service room seat?
Why ask it
Capacity decides whether relatives end up standing in a corridor. If you expect more people than the room holds, that is a reason to hold the service elsewhere and use the home for the practical work only.
Is there step-free access, parking near the door, and a working hearing loop?
Why ask it
Older mourners, wheelchair users, and people who are hard of hearing are precisely who attends funerals. Check access to the toilets as well as to the service room, and ask whether the loop was tested recently rather than whether one exists.
Who answers the phone at three in the morning?
Why ask it
Deaths happen at night, and the first call often decides which home a family uses by default. Find out whether you reach their own staff or an answering service, and how long collection takes at that hour.
How soon could you collect someone, and does it differ depending on where the death happened?
Why ask it
A hospital mortuary has its own release process, a care home may need paperwork, and a death at home involves a doctor or a coroner first. A clear, specific description shows how regularly they deal with each situation.
Which faiths and communities do you serve regularly?
Why ask it
Ask this rather than whether they can accommodate yours, because everyone says yes to the second version. The first gets you actual experience, contacts among local officiants, and staff who already know what is expected of them.
Do you have staff who speak our family's language?
Why ask it
Language matters most at the arrangement meeting, when decisions are made quickly and under strain. Ask whether someone can speak with the relatives who will be signing, and whether key documents can be explained in that language.
What dates do you have available, and how long is the wait for the crematorium or cemetery we want?
Why ask it
Availability is a constraint families usually discover late. Ask whether a slot can be held while you consult relatives, and whether the delay is theirs or the crematorium's, since only one of those can be solved by choosing another home.
Are you a member of a trade association, and who handles complaints about you?
Why ask it
Membership normally brings a published code of practice and a route for complaints outside the business itself. Ask who oversees funeral homes where you live, and notice whether the question is answered comfortably.
Would a family you served recently be willing to speak to us?
Why ask it
Homes with satisfied families are usually happy to pass on a request. It is a small test either way, since how they react to being asked is informative even if you never make the call.
If you collect someone and we then decide to use a different home, what would you charge?
Why ask it
Once a home has collected a body, families often feel committed to the rest. A reasonable business quotes a collection and care fee and releases the person without argument. Reluctance here is worth taking seriously before you call anybody out.
What do you do here that a cheaper funeral home would not?
Why ask it
This invites them to describe their own value, and the answers separate substance from sentiment. Staff on call, their own vehicles, a private viewing room, no fixed packages: these are worth paying for. Warm words at a higher price are not.
If we prepay, who holds the money, and what happens if the business is sold?
Why ask it
Prepaid plans outlive businesses. Ask whether funds go into a trust or an insurance policy, whether the plan moves with you if you relocate, what is refundable, and what is guaranteed against price rises. Keep the answers with the paperwork.
Choosing between funeral homes
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
How to compare them fairly
- Write down one specification, for example collection, care, a simple coffin, a hearse, and a cremation at a named crematorium, then ask three homes to price exactly that. Prices for identical work differ widely between businesses in the same town.
- Ask each one for a written total that separates their own charges from what they pass on. Crematorium and cemetery fees are the same whoever you use, so only the first column is worth comparing.
- Look up the crematorium or cemetery directly. Their published fees, waiting times, and slot lengths are public in most places, and knowing them makes any quote easier to read.
- Note who answered the phone and how they spoke to you. It is a reasonable proxy for how the week will go, and it is the only part of the service you can sample in advance.
Before you commit to anyone
- Visit in person if you have the time. Ten minutes in the building answers questions you would not think to ask.
- Get the name and direct number of the person handling the arrangements, and confirm who covers for them on their day off.
- Ask for everything agreed in writing, itemized, before you sign, and keep a copy separate from the funeral paperwork.
- If a home applies pressure, implies a decision cannot wait, or will not put a figure in writing, that is reason enough to call somebody else. There is no obligation to continue with a home you have only spoken to.
If you are doing this in the middle of it
You are not obliged to use the funeral home a hospital, hospice, or care home names first, and you are not obliged to use the one that has already collected the body. In most places a home will release a person to another provider for a collection fee. If you have already made calls and now feel rushed, it is reasonable to say that no decisions will be made until tomorrow and to ask for the price list to read overnight. If you have no one to sit with you through it, ask the hospital or hospice about their bereavement office, since part of their job is walking families through exactly this.
Planning ahead of time
- Ask what happens if you die away from home, whether the plan transfers to another provider, and what portion covers third party fees that may rise.
- Write down what you want and tell the people who will be arranging it. A note kept with your will costs nothing and removes the guesswork that families find hardest.
- Check whether a plan you are considering is regulated where you live, and who to contact if the provider stops trading.
- Consider putting money aside in a straightforward account rather than a plan, and telling your family it is for this. It is less tidy, but it stays yours and it cannot be tied to one business.