Questions to Ask a Guardian Ad Litem
Questions a parent or caregiver can ask a guardian ad litem appointed in a family court case. Covers what the role does, how the investigation works, what happens to what you say, and how the recommendation reaches the judge.
The questions
Open any question for the note
Can you explain what your role is, and who you represent?
Why ask it
A guardian ad litem represents the child's interests, not yours, and in some jurisdictions is an attorney for the child while in others is an investigator for the court. Knowing which applies here changes how you should treat every conversation.
Were you appointed by the judge, and what does the appointment order ask you to look at?
Why ask it
The order sets the scope, which may be narrow, such as one contested issue, rather than the whole family. Asking for the scope prevents you preparing for a review that is not happening.
Is anything I tell you confidential?
Why ask it
Usually not. Most of what you say can appear in a report filed with the court and shared with the other party. It is better to know that before the first interview than after.
What are the steps of your investigation, and who do you plan to speak to?
Why ask it
The list of interviews, teachers, doctors, the other parent, new partners, tells you how broad this will be and gives you a chance to mention someone relevant they have missed.
How many times will you meet my child, and where?
Why ask it
A single meeting in an office produces a very different picture from several meetings including a home visit. If it is one short session, that is worth knowing when you read the recommendation.
Will you observe my child with each parent?
Why ask it
Observation in both homes is common practice but not universal. A recommendation about where a child should live carries less weight if only one household was seen.
What documents or records do you need from me, and by when?
Why ask it
Getting the list early avoids the appearance of withholding. Missing a deadline is often read as reluctance rather than disorganisation.
How do you want me to pass on information between now and the report?
Why ask it
Establishing one channel, usually email or through counsel, keeps things orderly. Frequent unsolicited contact tends to be recorded and does not help.
How do you handle it when what my child says differs from what you think is best for them?
Why ask it
This is the central tension of the role, and the answer tells you how much weight a child's stated preference will carry. A thoughtful answer distinguishes the child's wishes from the recommendation.
How do you allow for a child's age when you interpret what they say?
Why ask it
Younger children often repeat the language of whichever adult they saw last. Someone experienced will describe how they check for that rather than treating statements at face value.
How will you know whether a child has been coached?
Why ask it
Coaching is the most common problem in these cases and both parents are often suspected of it. Hearing the method used is more reassuring than an assurance that they would spot it.
What are you required to report if you become concerned about safety?
Why ask it
Mandatory reporting duties override the case. Knowing what triggers a report avoids anyone being surprised by a referral to child protection.
What is your timeline, and when will the report be filed?
Why ask it
The filing date determines when you can respond and whether there is time before the hearing. Delays are common, so ask what happens if the date slips.
Will I see the report before the hearing, and will my child?
Why ask it
Practice differs: some reports go only to counsel, some are sealed. It also matters whether a child will read what they said being quoted.
Do you testify, and can you be cross-examined?
Why ask it
If the guardian ad litem takes the stand, the report can be tested. If they do not, it reaches the judge unchallenged, which is worth knowing when planning with your attorney.
What happens if I disagree with your recommendation?
Why ask it
There is usually a proper route, through your attorney and at the hearing, and an improper one. Asking makes it clear you intend to use the first.
How long have you been doing this work, and what training does it require here?
Why ask it
Requirements vary considerably by state and county, and some guardians are volunteers with short training. It is a reasonable question and a professional will answer it plainly.
Are your fees paid by the parties or by the court, and what will I owe?
Why ask it
In many cases the parents are billed, sometimes at an hourly rate that includes every phone call. Knowing this affects how you use their time.
What can I do to make the meetings easier for my child?
Why ask it
The useful answers are usually about restraint: not preparing them, not asking afterwards what was said. It also signals that your focus is the child rather than the outcome.
Does your involvement end when the order is made, or does it continue?
Why ask it
Some appointments end at judgment, others continue through a review period. This determines who to contact if arrangements are not being followed.
Working with a guardian ad litem
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Practical points
Assume everything is reportable
Emails, voicemails and remarks made in passing can all end up quoted in the report. This is not a reason to be guarded about facts, but it is a reason to write as though the judge will read it, because they may.
Talk to your own attorney first
Your lawyer can tell you what the appointment order covers in your jurisdiction and whether to route contact through them. In some courts direct contact is expected; in others it is discouraged.
Provide documents rather than accounts
School reports, medical records and a calendar of who did which pickup carry more weight than a description of the other parent. Guardians see many parents who characterise and few who document.
Answer about your child, not the other parent
When asked about a problem, describe its effect on the child and what you did about it. Long histories of the other parent's conduct tend to be read as evidence about the speaker.
Keep your child out of the preparation
Do not rehearse them, quiz them afterwards, or explain what is at stake. Guardians are practised at noticing prepared answers, and it damages the parent who prepared them.
What tends to go wrong
Treating the guardian as your advocate
A warm first meeting leads some parents to speak as though they have an ally. The role is to advise the court about the child, and the report may not favour you.
Frequent contact
Regular calls and long emails are usually recorded and rarely change the outcome. Where fees are billed hourly, they also cost you money.
Withholding something awkward
A past charge, a period of drinking, a difficult relationship. Disclosed early it is context; found later it undermines everything else you have said.
Using the child as a channel
Sending messages or questions through the child is visible to the guardian and is one of the most damaging things a parent can do in a contested case.