20 Questions

Questions to Ask a Parent About Their Child

Important questions teachers, caregivers, and professionals should ask parents to understand a child's needs, strengths, routines, and how to provide the best possible care and support.

1

What does your child love to do, and what are their current interests?

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Why this works

Understanding interests helps you connect with the child and use their passions as engagement tools for learning or comfort.

2

How does your child typically respond to new situations or unfamiliar environments?

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Why this works

Transition patterns help you prepare appropriate support for helping the child adjust comfortably to new experiences.

3

What are your child's strengths, and where do they shine?

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Why this works

Focusing on strengths builds confidence and provides entry points for addressing challenges through areas of competence.

4

Are there any particular challenges or areas where your child needs extra support?

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Why this works

Knowing difficulties upfront allows you to prepare strategies and resources before problems escalate.

5

How does your child communicate when they're upset, tired, or overwhelmed?

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Why this works

Recognizing stress signals helps you intervene early and provide comfort before situations become unmanageable.

6

What comforts your child when they're having a difficult time?

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Why this works

Soothing strategies from home can be replicated in your care, providing consistency and effective emotional support.

7

Does your child have any medical conditions, allergies, or dietary restrictions I should know about?

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Why this works

Health information is critical for safety and ensures you can respond appropriately in emergencies or daily care.

8

What is your child's typical daily routine at home?

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Why this works

Routine knowledge helps maintain consistency and makes transitions between home and other environments smoother.

9

How does your child handle conflict or disagreements with other children?

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Why this works

Social patterns inform your approach to facilitating positive peer interactions and teaching conflict resolution skills.

10

Are there any behaviors or situations that might trigger stress or anxiety for your child?

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Why this works

Trigger awareness allows you to minimize stressful situations and prepare support when unavoidable challenges arise.

11

How do you typically handle discipline or behavior guidance at home?

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Why this works

Consistency between environments supports the child's understanding of expectations and appropriate behavior.

12

What are your family's cultural values or traditions that are important for us to honor?

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Why this works

Cultural awareness ensures respectful care that acknowledges and celebrates the child's identity and family background.

13

How does your child do with transitions, like stopping one activity and starting another?

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Why this works

Transition struggles are common, and knowing patterns helps you provide appropriate warnings and support.

14

Are there any topics or situations that are particularly sensitive for your family right now?

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Why this works

Awareness of family circumstances helps you provide compassionate support during difficult times.

15

What goals do you have for your child while they're in my care?

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Why this works

Understanding parent priorities helps you align your efforts with family values and desired outcomes.

16

How does your child do with independence versus needing help?

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Why this works

Knowing their capability level helps you provide appropriate scaffolding without over-helping or under-supporting.

17

Are there any important people in your child's life I should know about?

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Why this works

Understanding key relationships helps you connect conversations and comfort to important people when the child needs them.

18

What is your preferred method of communication, and how often would you like updates?

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Why this works

Communication preferences ensure you're connecting with parents in ways that work for their schedule and style.

19

Does your child have any special objects, loveys, or items that provide comfort?

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Why this works

Comfort items can be powerful tools for helping children feel secure in unfamiliar environments.

20

What else should I know about your child that would help me provide the best possible care?

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Why this works

Open-ended questions catch important information that didn't fit other categories and show you value parent expertise.

Partnering with Parents Effectively

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Create a Judgment-Free Space

Parents need to feel safe sharing honestly without fear of criticism - your goal is understanding, not evaluation.

Listen Actively

Take notes, ask clarifying questions, and demonstrate that you're genuinely interested in understanding their child fully.

Validate Parent Expertise

Parents are the experts on their child - acknowledge their knowledge and treat them as partners in care.

Follow Up on Concerns

If parents mention challenges or worries, check in regularly and share observations about how things are going.

Essential Information Categories

Child's Needs and Patterns

1
Interests, strengths, and passions
2
Challenges and support needs
3
Communication and stress signals
4
Comfort and soothing strategies

Practical Care Information

1
Medical conditions and allergies
2
Daily routines and schedules
3
Discipline and behavior guidance
4
Cultural values and traditions

Common Pitfalls

Don't Make Assumptions

Every child and family is unique - avoid generalizing based on age, background, or previous experience with similar children.

Avoid Asking Leading Questions

Frame questions neutrally without suggesting 'right' answers - you want honest information, not what parents think you want to hear.

Don't Overwhelm with Too Many Questions

Prioritize essential information initially, then build understanding over time through ongoing conversations.

Conversation Templates

The Initial Meeting Framework

1
Step 1: Start with: 'Tell me about your child - what makes them special?'
2
Step 2: Follow with: 'What does a typical day look like at home?'
3
Step 3: Explore: 'What would be most helpful for me to know to support them well?'

The Needs Assessment

1
Step 1: Ask: 'What are your child's strengths?'
2
Step 2: Balance with: 'Where do they need extra support?'
3
Step 3: Clarify: 'How can I best help them feel comfortable and successful?'

Further Reading

"The Whole-Brain Child" by Daniel J. Siegel
"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" by Adele Faber
NAEYC resources on family partnerships
Zero to Three parent partnership guidelines

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