Questions to Ask a Potential Roommate (College)
The practical conversation, for the weeks between being matched and arriving. It covers who is bringing the fridge, the microwave and the rug, what is worth splitting the cost of, arrival times on move-in day, storage, and how the room will be laid out. Nothing here is about habits or house rules, which are worth a separate and longer conversation before term starts.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What are you already planning to bring that takes up floor space?
Why ask it
Fridges, printers, fans and instruments are the items that get duplicated. Comparing lists early saves money and space.
Should we split the cost of the big shared things, or does one of us just bring them?
Why ask it
Both work, but the second needs a plan for who keeps what at the end of the year. Decide before anyone buys.
If we split something, who keeps it in May?
Why ask it
Nobody thinks about this in August and everybody argues about it in May. Agree it in the same message as the purchase.
Do you know the bed size and whether the room comes with anything?
Why ask it
Bedding, desk lamps and drawers vary between halls. Comparing what the housing office says stops two wasted orders.
What time are you arriving on move-in day, and who is helping you?
Why ask it
Two families in one small room at the same hour is a bad start. Staggering by a couple of hours makes the day far easier.
Do you mind who gets which side of the room, or should we decide when we see it?
Why ask it
Windows, radiators and sockets make the sides unequal. Agreeing the method now avoids an awkward first ten minutes.
Are you happy for us to move the furniture around?
Why ask it
Lofting beds and turning desks changes a room completely, and some people hate it. Ask before you start shifting things.
How much of the room do you want to decorate, and in what sort of style?
Why ask it
Posters, lights and rugs are where taste collides. A short conversation here prevents a passive-aggressive autumn.
What do you want to do about a rug, and would you rather have the floor bare?
Why ask it
It is a small thing that sets the feel of the room and it costs real money. Decide together rather than turning up with one.
Are you bringing anything valuable that needs to be locked away?
Why ask it
Instruments, cameras and laptops need a plan and possibly insurance. Ask what they expect from you about locking the door.
What are you bringing for cooking or eating in the room, and what are the rules where we live?
Why ask it
Kettles, air fryers and toasters are banned in many halls. Checking now saves a confiscation in week one.
Do you need a fridge for medication or food you have to keep?
Why ask it
This turns a nice-to-have into a requirement, and it should shape who buys what. It is also a natural way to raise allergies.
How much storage do you need, and do you have a lot of clothes?
Why ask it
Wardrobes in halls are small and unevenly shared. Knowing in advance means one of you can bring a rail.
Are you bringing a TV or a speaker, and would we share them?
Why ask it
Shared electronics need a rule about headphones and volume. Agreeing when it arrives is easier than later.
What are you doing about a printer, and would we share the paper and ink?
Why ask it
One printer between two is sensible, but only with a plan for consumables. Otherwise it becomes one person's cost.
What toiletries and cleaning things should we buy together?
Why ask it
Bin bags, cleaning spray, kitchen roll and washing-up liquid are the small shared costs that go unnoticed. Set up a way to split them from day one.
How do you want to handle paying each other back for shared purchases?
Why ask it
Pick an app or a running note now while the amounts are small. It is much harder to start once someone is owed forty pounds.
Is there anything you want to buy new rather than share?
Why ask it
Some people would rather have their own kettle than negotiate one. Knowing this early prevents a lot of quiet resentment.
What is on your list that you have not bought yet?
Why ask it
Comparing lists a week out catches both duplicates and gaps. It is also an easy, low-pressure message to send.
Shall we make a shared list so we do not turn up with two of everything?
Why ask it
A shared document is the simplest fix for the whole problem. Suggesting it also makes a good first impression.
Making the arrangement work
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Before you agree to room together
Talk live, not only by message
A video call for twenty minutes tells you things a text thread cannot: whether they ask you anything back, whether they interrupt, whether they are answering while distracted. Text lets both sides present an edited version.
Compare schedules, not personalities
Shared taste in music predicts very little about living together. Sleep times, study location, guest habits and tolerance for mess predict nearly everything, so spend the conversation there.
Say your own answers out loud
Tell them you need quiet before midnight or that you leave dishes overnight. Volunteering your own inconvenient habits makes it much likelier they name theirs instead of agreeing with everything you say.
Check what the housing contract requires
Guests, pets, candles, alcohol and lockout rules vary between halls, and consequences often land on both occupants. Read yours before you promise anything you are not allowed to give.
The first two weeks
Write down what you agreed
Quiet hours, guest notice, a cleaning rota and how food works, on one page in a shared note. Many colleges provide a roommate agreement form for exactly this, and it is much easier to point at a note than to relitigate a conversation.
Set a check-in for the end of the second week
Put it in both calendars and use it to ask what is annoying so far. A scheduled ten minutes converts small irritations into adjustments before they harden into a grievance.
Raise the small thing while it is still small
The alarm going off six times, the light at 2am, the borrowed charger. Said in week one it is a request; said in week eight it arrives as an accusation with two months of evidence attached.
Common mistakes
Rooming with a close friend without asking these questions
Existing friendship makes people skip the practical conversation, because it feels like distrust. Friends need the guest and cleaning agreements more than strangers do, since there is more to lose.
Agreeing to everything to seem easy-going
Saying you do not mind about guests or noise when you do sets a norm you then have to break. It is easier to state a limit in July than to introduce one in October.
Letting a parent run the conversation
If their answers come through a parent, or yours do, you learn nothing about the person you are living with. Have at least one call with just the two of you.
Going to the RA before going to your roommate
Unless you feel unsafe, in which case go straight to residence staff, one direct conversation first usually resolves it and keeps the room liveable. Escalating first tends to freeze the situation for the rest of the term.