20 Questions

Questions to Ask a Teenager About Life

Thoughtful questions to ask teenagers that will help you connect with them, understand their perspective, and support their growth during this important life stage.

1

What's the most exciting thing happening in your life right now?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their current experiences and helps you understand what they're passionate about.

2

What's the biggest challenge you're facing?

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Why this works

Helps you understand their struggles and provides an opportunity to offer support and guidance.

3

What are your goals for the next few years?

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Why this works

Understanding their aspirations helps you support their dreams and provide relevant guidance.

4

What do you enjoy most about school?

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Why this works

Learning about their academic interests helps you understand their strengths and passions.

5

What's your favorite way to spend free time?

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Why this works

Understanding their interests helps you connect with them and find common ground.

6

What's something you're really good at?

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Why this works

Helps them recognize their strengths and builds confidence while showing you value their abilities.

7

What's something you'd like to learn or improve?

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Why this works

Understanding their growth goals helps you support their development and provide relevant resources.

8

What's your relationship like with your friends?

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Why this works

Understanding their social connections helps you support their relationships and social development.

9

What's something that makes you feel proud?

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Why this works

Helps them recognize their achievements and builds self-esteem while showing you value their accomplishments.

10

What's something that worries you about the future?

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Why this works

Understanding their concerns helps you provide reassurance and support for their anxieties.

11

What's your favorite subject in school and why?

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Why this works

Learning about their academic interests helps you understand their strengths and potential career paths.

12

What's something you wish adults understood about teenagers?

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Why this works

Gives them a voice to express their perspective and helps you understand their world better.

13

What's your favorite way to relax or de-stress?

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Why this works

Understanding their coping strategies helps you support their mental health and well-being.

14

What's something you're looking forward to?

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Why this works

Understanding their hopes and dreams helps you support their aspirations and provide encouragement.

15

What's your relationship like with your family?

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Why this works

Understanding their family dynamics helps you support their relationships and provide appropriate guidance.

16

What's something you've learned recently that excited you?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their learning and helps you understand what topics engage them.

17

What's something you wish you could change about your life?

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Why this works

Understanding their desires for change helps you support their growth and provide relevant guidance.

18

What's your favorite way to express yourself?

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Why this works

Understanding their self-expression helps you support their creativity and identity development.

19

What's something you're grateful for?

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Why this works

Helps them practice gratitude and builds positive thinking while showing you value their perspective.

20

What's something you'd like to talk about that we haven't discussed?

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Why this works

Gives them the opportunity to bring up topics that are important to them and shows you're open to their concerns.

Connecting with Teenagers

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Approaching the Conversation

Be Genuinely Interested

Show authentic interest in their thoughts and experiences. Teenagers can sense when adults are just going through the motions.

Listen Without Judgment

Create a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism.

Respect Their Perspective

Remember that their experiences and concerns are valid, even if they seem different from adult perspectives.

Key Areas to Explore

Current Life and Experiences

What's exciting and challenging
School and academic interests
Friendships and relationships
Hobbies and activities

Goals and Aspirations

Short and long-term goals
Career and educational plans
Personal development goals
Dreams and aspirations

Emotions and Well-being

What makes them happy and worried
How they cope with stress
What they're grateful for
Their relationships and support systems

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Don't Minimize Their Concerns

What may seem trivial to adults can be very important to teenagers. Take their concerns seriously.

Avoid Being Preachy

Instead of lecturing, ask questions that help them think through issues and come to their own conclusions.

Don't Pressure Them

If they don't want to discuss something, respect their boundaries. Don't pressure them to share more than they're comfortable with.

Further Reading

"The Teenage Brain" by Frances Jensen
"How to Talk So Teens Will Listen" by Adele Faber
"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" by Sean Covey

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