Questions to Ask About Bullying
Sensitive and important questions that help identify, understand, and address bullying situations while providing support and guidance for those affected.
1How are you feeling about school and your relationships with other students?
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How are you feeling about school and your relationships with other students?
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Why this works
Opens up conversation about their social experiences and helps identify potential bullying situations in a non-threatening way.
2Have you noticed any changes in your behavior or mood recently?
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Have you noticed any changes in your behavior or mood recently?
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Why this works
Helps identify signs of bullying that may be affecting their emotional wellbeing and daily functioning.
3What's the most challenging part of your day at school?
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What's the most challenging part of your day at school?
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Why this works
Reveals specific areas of concern and helps identify where bullying might be occurring or what situations are causing stress.
4How do you handle conflicts with other students?
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How do you handle conflicts with other students?
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Why this works
Shows their current coping strategies and helps identify whether they need additional support or intervention.
5What would make you feel safer at school?
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What would make you feel safer at school?
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Why this works
Reveals their specific needs and concerns while showing you want to help create a safer environment for them.
6Have you ever felt excluded or left out by other students?
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Have you ever felt excluded or left out by other students?
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Why this works
Helps identify social isolation and exclusion, which are common forms of bullying that may not be immediately obvious.
7How do you think other students perceive you?
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How do you think other students perceive you?
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Why this works
Reveals their self-perception and helps identify whether they're experiencing negative treatment from peers.
8What's the best way for you to get help if you're having problems with other students?
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What's the best way for you to get help if you're having problems with other students?
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Why this works
Establishes support systems and helps them understand how to access help when they need it.
9Have you ever seen other students being treated unfairly or unkindly?
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Have you ever seen other students being treated unfairly or unkindly?
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Why this works
Helps identify whether they're witnessing bullying and shows you care about their observations and experiences.
10What would you do if you saw someone being bullied?
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What would you do if you saw someone being bullied?
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Why this works
Reveals their understanding of appropriate responses and helps identify whether they need guidance on how to help others.
11How do you think teachers and staff handle student conflicts?
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How do you think teachers and staff handle student conflicts?
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Why this works
Shows their perception of adult intervention and helps identify whether they feel supported by school staff.
12What's the most important thing adults should know about student relationships?
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What's the most important thing adults should know about student relationships?
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Why this works
Reveals their perspective on adult understanding and helps identify gaps in awareness or support.
13How do you think we can make school a more welcoming place for everyone?
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How do you think we can make school a more welcoming place for everyone?
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Why this works
Encourages positive thinking about solutions while revealing their specific concerns and ideas for improvement.
14What's the difference between teasing and bullying in your experience?
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What's the difference between teasing and bullying in your experience?
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Why this works
Helps clarify their understanding of bullying and identifies whether they're experiencing harmful behavior that may not be recognized as bullying.
15How do you think social media affects student relationships?
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How do you think social media affects student relationships?
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Why this works
Reveals their experience with cyberbullying and helps identify whether they're facing online harassment or negative interactions.
16What would you want other students to know about you?
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What would you want other students to know about you?
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Why this works
Shows interest in their identity and helps identify whether they're experiencing prejudice or discrimination based on their characteristics.
17How do you think we can help students who are being bullied?
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How do you think we can help students who are being bullied?
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Why this works
Encourages empathy and helps identify whether they understand how to support others who are experiencing bullying.
18What's the most important thing you've learned about dealing with difficult people?
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What's the most important thing you've learned about dealing with difficult people?
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Why this works
Reveals their coping strategies and helps identify whether they need additional support or guidance in handling challenging situations.
19How do you think we can prevent bullying from happening in the first place?
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How do you think we can prevent bullying from happening in the first place?
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Why this works
Encourages proactive thinking and helps identify their ideas for creating a more positive school environment.
20What's the most supportive thing someone has done for you when you were having a hard time?
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What's the most supportive thing someone has done for you when you were having a hard time?
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Why this works
Reveals what kind of support they find most helpful and shows you want to understand how to best support them.
Best Practices for Bullying Conversations
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Best Practices
Create a Safe and Non-Judgmental Environment
Ensure the person feels safe to share their experiences without fear of judgment or consequences. Use active listening and validate their feelings.
Focus on Their Wellbeing and Safety
Prioritize their emotional and physical safety. Ask questions that show you care about their wellbeing and want to help them feel secure.
Be Patient and Allow Them to Share at Their Own Pace
Don't pressure them to share more than they're comfortable with. Let them guide the conversation and respect their boundaries.
Question Sequences
The Safety and Support Sequence
The Understanding and Empathy Flow
Common Pitfalls
Don't Minimize or Dismiss Their Experiences
Never downplay their feelings or experiences. What may seem minor to you could be very significant to them. Take their concerns seriously.
Avoid Blaming or Shaming
Don't ask questions that imply they're at fault for being bullied. Focus on support and solutions rather than blame or criticism.
Don't Promise Confidentiality You Can't Keep
Be honest about your reporting obligations and don't promise to keep information confidential if you're required to report certain situations.