20 Questions

Questions to Ask About Goals

Thoughtful questions that help you understand someone's aspirations, motivations, and vision for their future while building deeper connections.

1

What's something you've always wanted to accomplish but haven't had the chance to pursue yet?

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Why this works

Reveals hidden aspirations and priorities while showing what they value most in life.

2

If you could wake up tomorrow with one new skill or ability, what would it be and why?

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Why this works

Uncovers current limitations they're aware of and what they see as most valuable for their growth.

3

What does success look like to you in five years, and how would you know you've achieved it?

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Why this works

Reveals their definition of success and provides concrete markers for measuring progress.

4

What's a goal you've achieved that you're most proud of, and what made it meaningful?

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Why this works

Shows their values and what they consider worth celebrating, plus their motivation patterns.

5

If you had unlimited resources and time, what would you want to create or build?

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Why this works

Reveals their deepest passions and creative vision without practical constraints limiting their imagination.

6

What's something you've been putting off that you know would make a positive difference in your life?

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Why this works

Identifies self-awareness about procrastination and reveals what they consider important but challenging.

7

What legacy do you hope to leave behind, and how do you want to be remembered?

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Why this works

Reveals their values and long-term perspective on their impact and contribution to others.

8

What's a goal that scares you but also excites you when you think about it?

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Why this works

Identifies their growth edge and shows what they consider worth the risk and effort.

9

If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be and why?

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Why this works

Reveals their values, concerns, and vision for making a broader impact beyond personal goals.

10

What's something you want to learn or experience that would completely change your perspective?

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Why this works

Shows openness to growth and reveals what they think would be transformative for them.

11

What goal have you set for yourself that others might not understand, and why is it important to you?

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Why this works

Reveals personal values and motivations that may not align with others' expectations or conventional wisdom.

12

If you could go back and give your younger self one piece of advice about pursuing goals, what would it be?

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Why this works

Shows self-reflection and reveals lessons learned about goal-setting and achievement.

13

What's a goal you've had to let go of, and how did you decide it was time to move on?

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Why this works

Reveals their decision-making process and shows how they handle disappointment and change.

14

What would you want to accomplish if you knew you couldn't fail?

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Why this works

Removes fear as a barrier and reveals their true aspirations without self-imposed limitations.

15

What goal are you working toward right now that you're most excited about?

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Why this works

Shows current motivation and energy, plus what they're actively investing their time and effort in.

16

If you could help someone else achieve their biggest goal, what would you want to help them with?

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Why this works

Reveals their values around service and what they consider most important to help others achieve.

17

What's a goal that would require you to step completely outside your comfort zone?

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Why this works

Identifies their growth challenges and shows what they consider worth the discomfort and risk.

18

What do you hope to have accomplished by the end of this year that would make you feel proud?

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Why this works

Reveals short-term priorities and what they consider achievable and meaningful in the near future.

19

What's a goal you've achieved that required the most persistence, and what kept you going?

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Why this works

Shows their resilience patterns and reveals what motivates them to persist through challenges.

20

If you could design your ideal life, what would a typical day look like and what goals would you be pursuing?

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Why this works

Reveals their vision for work-life balance and what they consider ideal in terms of daily fulfillment and purpose.

Mastering Goal-Focused Conversations

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Listen for Values, Not Just Goals

Pay attention to what their goals reveal about their values, priorities, and what they consider meaningful.

Ask Follow-Up Questions

When someone shares a goal, ask why it matters to them, what it would mean to achieve it, or what's holding them back.

Share Your Own Goals

Reciprocate by sharing your own aspirations to create mutual vulnerability and deeper connection.

Question Sequences

The Aspiration Explorer

1
What's something you've always wanted to accomplish?
2
What makes that goal meaningful to you?
3
What would achieving it change about your life?
4
What's the first step you could take toward it?

The Legacy Builder

1
What legacy do you hope to leave behind?
2
How do you want to be remembered?
3
What would you need to accomplish to feel that legacy is secure?
4
What's one thing you could do this year toward that legacy?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Judge Their Goals

Avoid expressing skepticism or judgment about their aspirations, even if they seem unrealistic to you.

Don't Make It About You

Focus on understanding their goals rather than immediately relating everything back to your own experiences.

Don't Push for Specifics

Some people are still figuring out their goals - don't pressure them to have everything mapped out.

Conversation Templates

The Future Vision

1
Step 1: Start with: "I'm curious about your vision for the future..."
2
Step 2: Follow with: "What does success look like to you in five years?"
3
Step 3: Deepen with: "What would need to happen for you to feel you've achieved that?"
4
Step 4: Connect with: "What's the most important thing you could do this year to move toward that vision?"

The Growth Edge

1
Step 1: Start with: "I'm interested in what challenges you..."
2
Step 2: Follow with: "What's a goal that scares you but also excites you?"
3
Step 3: Deepen with: "What makes it both scary and exciting?"
4
Step 4: Connect with: "What would need to be true for you to feel ready to pursue it?"

Further Reading

"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey
"Atomic Habits" by James Clear
"Designing Your Life" by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

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