Questions to Ask About Plants
Questions for talking with someone who keeps plants, whether that means two pots on a windowsill or an allotment. They cover what they grow, what they have killed, the habits behind the results, and the plants that came to them from other people.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What are you growing at the moment?
Why ask it
An easy opener that gets you the present state rather than a general interest, and it usually comes with a walk around the room. Note whether the answer is a list of species or a list of situations, because that tells you whether you are talking to a collector or a gardener.
What have you killed?
Why ask it
Everyone who keeps plants has a body count, and asking for it early makes the conversation honest rather than a display. The plant somebody keeps failing with is usually more interesting than the one thriving in the window.
How did this start, and was there a first plant?
Why ask it
The origin is often a gift, a house move, an inherited cutting, or a lockdown. People who came to it through someone else usually tell you about that person within a sentence or two.
Which plant has been with you longest, and where did it come from?
Why ask it
Age brings out the stories: a cutting from a grandmother, a plant that survived three flats, a supermarket pot from fifteen years ago. This is the question most likely to turn a conversation about plants into a conversation about a life.
What did you learn the hard way about watering?
Why ask it
Overwatering kills far more houseplants than neglect does, and most people arrive at that through a rotted root ball. The specific habit they landed on, weighing the pot, checking with a finger, ignoring a schedule, is the transferable part.
What do you do about light in a place that has not got much?
Why ask it
Light is the constraint nobody can buy their way around, and the answers involve moving plants seasonally, choosing tolerant species, or giving up on some. Someone who talks about direction and hours rather than bright or dark knows what they are doing.
Do you feed your plants, and with what?
Why ask it
This separates the people running a routine from the people responding to a plant looking sad. Ask when they stop feeding as well, since the answer reveals whether they think about dormancy at all.
How do you know when something needs repotting?
Why ask it
Roots at the drainage hole, water running straight through, growth that has stalled in spring. Repotting is where enthusiasm outruns judgement, and experienced growers usually explain why they wait.
What do you propagate, and who ends up with the cuttings?
Why ask it
Propagation turns a hobby into a small economy of gifts and swaps, and most keen growers can name several people carrying pieces of their plants. Where the cuttings go tells you about their circle as much as their skill.
What is overrated, and what deserves more attention?
Why ask it
This invites an opinion rather than a fact, and it produces the most animated part of most plant conversations. Fashionable species get criticised, and unglamorous reliable ones get defended.
What pest have you fought, and did you win?
Why ask it
Fungus gnats, scale, spider mite, slugs, and vine weevil all come up, and the treatment stories are practical. Whether they use chemicals, patience, or the bin also says something about how they think about the whole business.
What is the trickiest plant you have actually kept alive?
Why ask it
This is the achievement question, and it is more specific than asking about a favourite. The conditions they built for it, a humid bathroom, a grow light, a particular compost, are the details worth stealing.
Has a plant of yours survived something it should not have?
Why ask it
A month without water, a frost, a house move in a car boot, a cat. These stories are funny and they also correct the impression that plant keeping is delicate work requiring precision.
Is there a plant that reminds you of a particular person?
Why ask it
Cuttings pass between people and often outlive them, so this question reaches somewhere unexpected. Some people answer immediately with a name, and the conversation changes shape from there.
What do you grow that you actually eat?
Why ask it
Herbs on a sill and tomatoes on a balcony count, and the honest answers include what was not worth the effort. Anyone who has grown food can usually tell you which crops repay a small space and which do not.
Do you talk to them, or does that seem ridiculous?
Why ask it
Ask it lightly and most people admit something. The reason they give, habit, company, a way of noticing, is more revealing than the yes or no.
What would you plant if you had ground instead of pots?
Why ask it
This lets renters and flat dwellers say what they are missing, and it is often a tree, a hedge, or something they remember from childhood. Trees in particular come with a timescale that changes the tone of the answer.
Has keeping plants changed how you notice the year going by?
Why ask it
People who grow things track the seasons in weeks rather than months, and they usually name a specific signal: a bulb showing, the first repotting weekend, the day the light returns to a window. It is a different relationship with time and worth hearing described.
What has this taught you about your own patience?
Why ask it
Plants punish interference and reward waiting, which is the opposite of most modern work. Expect an answer about learning to leave things alone, and press for the specific plant that taught it.
What would you say to someone who claims they kill everything?
Why ask it
This closes on generosity rather than expertise, and the advice is usually short and practical: one tough species, less water, a brighter spot. It also shows whether they treat plant keeping as a talent or as a set of habits anyone can learn.
How to talk plants with someone who keeps them
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Getting a Real Conversation Going
Ask about the plant in front of you
A pot on the desk or a garden bed gives you a specific subject and lets them show rather than explain. General questions about gardening produce general answers.
Admit what you have killed
Almost everyone who keeps plants has lost a dozen, and saying so first removes any sense of examination. It also gets you better advice, because they now know your level.
Ask how, not just what
The species name is the least useful part of the answer, and the watering, light, and compost decisions are the transferable part. How often and where it sits will teach you more than a label.
Accept that common names differ
The same plant carries different names in different countries and generations. Following whichever name they use keeps the conversation moving instead of turning into a correction.
What Kills The Conversation
- Correcting a Latin name or a pronunciation.
- Diagnosing their sickly plant before they have asked for an opinion.
- Turning it into a comparison of collection sizes or rare species.
- Dismissing houseplants as not real gardening, or vegetables as not real plants.
- Asking someone in a rented flat what they have planted in their garden.
- Explaining photosynthesis to somebody who has been growing things for forty years.
If You Actually Want Their Advice
- Bring a photograph of the whole plant and one close-up of the affected part.
- Say which window it sits in, and which direction that window faces.
- Say how often you water and whether the pot drains.
- Mention how long you have had it and what changed recently.
- Ask what they would do first, rather than what is wrong with it.
- Ask for one plant that would survive your actual home, not your ideal one.