Questions to Ask an Alienated Child
Sensitive, therapeutic questions that help rebuild trust, understand the child's perspective, and create a safe space for healing in cases of parental alienation or family estrangement.
1How are you feeling today?
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How are you feeling today?
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Why this works
Simple, open-ended question that allows the child to express their current emotional state without pressure.
2What would you like me to know about you?
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What would you like me to know about you?
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Why this works
Gives the child control over what they share and helps build trust by respecting their boundaries.
3What makes you feel safe?
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What makes you feel safe?
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Why this works
Critical for understanding the child's sense of security and identifying what helps them feel protected.
4What are your favorite things to do?
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What are your favorite things to do?
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Why this works
Positive question that helps identify the child's interests and creates opportunities for connection.
5What do you wish adults understood about you?
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What do you wish adults understood about you?
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Why this works
Gives the child a voice to express their needs and helps adults understand their perspective.
6What makes you feel proud of yourself?
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What makes you feel proud of yourself?
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Why this works
Builds self-esteem and helps identify the child's strengths and positive qualities.
7What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?
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What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?
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Why this works
Assesses the child's coping strategies and helps identify when they need additional support.
8What would make you feel more comfortable here?
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What would make you feel more comfortable here?
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Why this works
Empowers the child to express their needs and helps create a more supportive environment.
9What are your hopes for the future?
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What are your hopes for the future?
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Why this works
Aspirational question that helps the child focus on positive possibilities and goals.
10What do you do when you feel sad or angry?
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What do you do when you feel sad or angry?
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Why this works
Helps identify the child's emotional regulation strategies and areas where they need support.
11What makes you feel loved?
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What makes you feel loved?
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Why this works
Important for understanding how the child experiences love and what makes them feel valued.
12What would you like to change about your life?
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What would you like to change about your life?
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Why this works
Gives the child agency to express their desires and helps identify areas for improvement.
13What do you do when you feel scared?
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What do you do when you feel scared?
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Why this works
Assesses the child's coping mechanisms for fear and helps identify sources of anxiety.
14What makes you feel special?
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What makes you feel special?
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Why this works
Builds self-esteem and helps the child identify their unique qualities and strengths.
15What would you like to learn or try?
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What would you like to learn or try?
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Why this works
Encourages the child to think about positive possibilities and new experiences.
16What do you do when you feel lonely?
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What do you do when you feel lonely?
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Why this works
Explores the child's social needs and helps identify ways to build connections.
17What makes you feel happy?
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What makes you feel happy?
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Why this works
Identifies sources of joy and positive experiences that can be used as coping resources.
18What would you like to tell me about your family?
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What would you like to tell me about your family?
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Why this works
Gives the child control over what they share about their family situation without pressure.
19What do you need from me to feel safe?
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What do you need from me to feel safe?
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Why this works
Direct question that helps the child express their safety needs and boundaries.
20What would you like to do together?
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What would you like to do together?
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Why this works
Collaborative question that gives the child agency in building the relationship and activities.
How to Use These Questions
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
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