Questions to Ask Au Pair Host Family
Essential questions for au pair host families that establish expectations, understand family dynamics, and create a successful cultural exchange experience for both the au pair and family.
1What are your main expectations for the au pair's role in our family?
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What are your main expectations for the au pair's role in our family?
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Why this works
Establishes clear boundaries and responsibilities, ensuring both parties understand the au pair's primary duties and scope of work.
2What are your children's ages, personalities, and any special needs I should know about?
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What are your children's ages, personalities, and any special needs I should know about?
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Why this works
Provides essential information about the children the au pair will be caring for, helping them prepare for their specific needs and personalities.
3What's your typical daily and weekly schedule, and how will the au pair fit into it?
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What's your typical daily and weekly schedule, and how will the au pair fit into it?
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Why this works
Reveals the family's routine and shows how the au pair's schedule will be structured, helping them understand work expectations.
4What are your house rules and expectations for the au pair's behavior?
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What are your house rules and expectations for the au pair's behavior?
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Why this works
Establishes clear guidelines for living in the family home and ensures the au pair understands the family's values and expectations.
5How do you handle discipline with your children, and what approach would you like the au pair to take?
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How do you handle discipline with your children, and what approach would you like the au pair to take?
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Why this works
Shows the family's parenting philosophy and ensures the au pair understands how to handle behavioral situations with the children.
6What are your expectations for the au pair's involvement in family activities and meals?
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What are your expectations for the au pair's involvement in family activities and meals?
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Why this works
Reveals the family's approach to inclusion and shows how the au pair will participate in family life beyond childcare duties.
7What transportation will be available to the au pair, and what are your expectations for their mobility?
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What transportation will be available to the au pair, and what are your expectations for their mobility?
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Why this works
Shows practical considerations for the au pair's independence and reveals how they can access transportation for personal and work needs.
8What are your expectations for the au pair's language learning and cultural exchange?
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What are your expectations for the au pair's language learning and cultural exchange?
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Why this works
Reveals the family's commitment to cultural exchange and shows how they plan to support the au pair's language development.
9How do you handle communication and conflict resolution within the family?
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How do you handle communication and conflict resolution within the family?
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Why this works
Shows the family's communication style and reveals their approach to addressing issues that may arise during the au pair's stay.
10What are your expectations for the au pair's personal time and privacy?
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What are your expectations for the au pair's personal time and privacy?
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Why this works
Establishes boundaries for the au pair's personal life and shows how the family respects their need for independence and privacy.
11What emergency procedures should the au pair know about?
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What emergency procedures should the au pair know about?
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Why this works
Ensures the au pair is prepared for emergency situations and shows the family's approach to safety and crisis management.
12What are your expectations for the au pair's relationship with extended family and friends?
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What are your expectations for the au pair's relationship with extended family and friends?
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Why this works
Reveals the family's social dynamics and shows how the au pair will interact with the broader family network.
13How do you handle cultural differences and what support will you provide?
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How do you handle cultural differences and what support will you provide?
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Why this works
Shows the family's awareness of cultural challenges and reveals their commitment to helping the au pair adjust to their new environment.
14What are your expectations for the au pair's involvement in children's education and homework?
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What are your expectations for the au pair's involvement in children's education and homework?
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Why this works
Reveals the family's educational priorities and shows how the au pair will support the children's academic development.
15What are your house rules regarding guests, internet use, and personal belongings?
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What are your house rules regarding guests, internet use, and personal belongings?
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Why this works
Establishes clear guidelines for living arrangements and ensures the au pair understands the family's expectations for shared spaces.
16How do you handle the au pair's time off and vacation requests?
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How do you handle the au pair's time off and vacation requests?
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Why this works
Shows the family's approach to work-life balance and reveals how they plan to support the au pair's personal time and travel opportunities.
17What are your expectations for the au pair's relationship with other household staff or caregivers?
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What are your expectations for the au pair's relationship with other household staff or caregivers?
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Why this works
Reveals the family's approach to multiple caregivers and shows how the au pair will collaborate with other household members.
18What support will you provide for the au pair's cultural adjustment and homesickness?
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What support will you provide for the au pair's cultural adjustment and homesickness?
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Why this works
Shows the family's empathy and reveals their commitment to helping the au pair feel comfortable and supported in their new environment.
19What are your expectations for the au pair's involvement in family traditions and holidays?
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What are your expectations for the au pair's involvement in family traditions and holidays?
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Why this works
Reveals the family's cultural practices and shows how the au pair will participate in family celebrations and traditions.
20How do you envision the au pair's role evolving over time, and what are your long-term expectations?
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How do you envision the au pair's role evolving over time, and what are your long-term expectations?
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Why this works
Shows the family's long-term perspective and reveals how they plan to develop the relationship over the course of the au pair's stay.
Best Practices for Au Pair Host Family Conversations
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Best Practices
Be Clear About Expectations
Au pair relationships work best when expectations are clearly communicated from the beginning. Be specific about duties, schedules, and house rules.
Show Cultural Sensitivity
Remember that the au pair is coming from a different culture. Be patient with cultural differences and show genuine interest in their background.
Establish Open Communication
Create an environment where the au pair feels comfortable asking questions and expressing concerns. Regular check-ins are essential for success.
Question Sequences
The Role Definition Sequence
The Cultural Integration Sequence
Common Pitfalls
Don't Make Assumptions About Cultural Differences
Avoid assuming the au pair understands your cultural norms. Be explicit about expectations and provide context for your family's values and practices.
Avoid Overwhelming with Information
Space out important information over time. Don't try to cover everything in one conversation - focus on the most critical expectations first.
Don't Ignore the Au Pair's Needs
Remember that this is a cultural exchange. Ask about the au pair's goals, interests, and needs, not just your family's expectations.