Questions to Ask a Bartender
Questions to ask a bartender from your seat at the bar, written for solo drinkers, regulars, visitors and anyone curious about how the job works. The 60 questions run from what to order and how drinks are made to the bar and the town around it, bar manners, the job and how they came to it, and each has a note on what to listen for or when to hold it back. The ordering ones work on any night. Keep the rest for a slow one, and ask one or two at a time. Hiring a bartender, or interviewing for a bar job, is a different list on this site.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
What to order
What would you order here if you were sitting on my side of the bar?
Why ask it
A sharper version of 'what do you recommend', which tends to get you either the safest drink on the list or the most expensive. Asking what they would drink themselves gets the pour they know is good at this bar, and it is short enough to answer in the middle of a task.
What's the drink you most like making?
Why ask it
The answer is often about the making more than the taste: a drink with a good shake, a tidy build or a garnish they are proud of. If they name one, order it, because you will rarely be handed a careless version of someone's favorite. If all you get is 'anything, really', the bar is too busy for the question and it will keep.
What do people order most here, and does that surprise you?
Why ask it
The best seller is often nothing like the drink the menu leads with. If they sound resigned about it, you have found the gap between what the bar wants to be and what it actually sells on a Saturday.
Which drink on the menu is this place known for?
Why ask it
Plenty of bars have one drink that people cross town for, and usually a story about how it got on the list. If they point at something that was on the menu before they arrived, order it once: a drink that has survived several menu changes has earned its place.
If I tell you what I usually drink, can you talk me into something else?
Why ask it
Name your usual and say what you like about it: the sourness, the smoke, the fact that it is not sweet. A good suggestion keeps the shape of that drink and changes one thing, so if what they describe sounds nothing like your usual, say so before they start pouring.
If I name a spirit and leave the rest to you, what would you make?
Why ask it
This is the bartender's choice order, and it goes best when you give two limits: the spirit, and whether you want it sweet, sour or strong. With no limits at all you are asking them to guess while a line forms, so keep this one for a quiet stretch.
I don't know cocktails well. Where would you start me?
Why ask it
Saying so out loud gets you a better drink than pointing at a name you half recognize. Help them with what you already like away from a bar, such as lemonade, black coffee or ginger beer, because those map onto sour, bitter and spicy drinks more reliably than a guess at a spirit does.
Is there anything good tonight that isn't on the menu?
Why ask it
There may be a bottle just opened, a syrup made that afternoon, or last season's drink they can still build. A plain 'no, the menu is the menu' is a fair answer in a busy place, so take it at face value and order from the list.
What's on the back bar that almost nobody asks about?
Why ask it
Most shelves hold a bottle that hardly moves, and the person who dusts it tends to know why it is still there: the owner's taste, one regular's standing order, a liqueur that a single drink needs. Ask what it tastes like before you ask for a pour, and ask the price too, because the unusual bottles are not always the cheap ones.
What's local on tap, and which would you pour for a visitor?
Why ask it
Draft lists change faster than printed menus, so the person pulling the handles knows more than the board does. If you are torn between two, ask whether they pour tastes. Some bars do and some are not allowed to, so it is a question and never a demand.
What's the best thing you make with no alcohol in it?
Why ask it
Worth asking whether you are driving, pacing yourself or do not drink at all. A bartender who brightens at this has thought about it, and you will get something built like a cocktail. A recital of the soda gun tells you to have the soda with lime and enjoy the room.
Which of these drinks is the strong one, and which is the easy one?
Why ask it
Menus rarely say how much spirit is in a glass, and a drink that tastes of fruit can carry more than one that tastes of whiskey. It is a normal thing to ask, and knowing lets you plan the order of your evening on purpose.
I'm eating at the bar. What should I drink with it?
Why ask it
Whoever works the bar sees which plates and glasses come back empty together, which is better evidence than a pairing line on a menu. Name the dish, because 'what goes with food' has no answer and 'what goes with the fried chicken' has several.
Is there a happy hour, and what's actually worth ordering on it?
Why ask it
The second half is the useful part. Discount lists tend to mix one or two real bargains with things the bar wants to move, and the person pouring knows which is which. Hours and rules for drink deals differ from place to place, so ask instead of assuming.
I have a nut allergy. Is there anything on this menu I should skip?
Why ask it
Swap in whatever you have to avoid, and say it before you order, not after the first sip. Menus do not always spell out what goes into a syrup or a foam: orgeat is made from almonds, and some sours are shaken with egg white. A bartender who goes to read the label instead of guessing is doing it right.
The craft
Which cocktail is harder to make well than people expect?
Why ask it
The answer is often one of the simple ones, a daiquiri or a martini, because three ingredients leave nowhere to hide a watery shake or tired citrus. Whichever drink they name is also a fair one to order when you want to judge a new bar quickly.
How do you decide whether a drink gets shaken or stirred?
Why ask it
The textbook line is that juice, cream or egg means shaking and a drink made only of spirits gets stirred. Ask anyway, because the interesting part is the exceptions they make and why. It is also easy to answer while they are doing exactly that in front of you.
What's the one thing people get wrong when they make drinks at home?
Why ask it
Common answers are too little ice, bottled citrus juice and pouring by eye. All three are cheap to fix, which makes this the question most likely to change the next drink you make yourself.
If I only buy three bottles for my kitchen, which three?
Why ask it
Tell them what you like drinking first, or you will get a stock list. A good answer is built around one or two drinks you would actually make, and it often includes a bottle you would not have thought of, such as a vermouth or an orange liqueur.
What one tool would you tell a home bartender to buy first?
Why ask it
Many will say a measure before anything showy, since home drinks tend to go wrong at the pour and a jigger costs very little. If they name a shaker instead, ask which style they use and why, because opinions on that run strong.
When is the top-shelf bottle worth it, and when is it wasted in a cocktail?
Why ask it
An honest reply here can cost the bar a sale, so notice whether you get one. A common view is that an expensive spirit shows best neat or with one or two other ingredients and gets lost under juice and sugar. Where this bartender draws the line is the part to remember.
There's a spirit I've never liked. What would you pour to change my mind?
Why ask it
Name the spirit and, if you can, the drink that put you off. A dislike often traces back to one harsh bottle or one badly made drink, and the usual fix is a gentler style or a cocktail where the spirit sits in the background. If it is still not for you, that is a fair result, and you are allowed to say so.
Which popular drink do you think is overrated?
Why ask it
Asked lightly, this gets an opinion and usually a laugh. Asked while you are holding the drink in question, it gets diplomacy. The follow-up is what makes it useful: what would they pour for someone who likes the overrated one?
Which old drink deserves a comeback?
Why ask it
Most people who care about drinks have a forgotten classic they would put on the menu if the choice were theirs. You get its history in a sentence or two and often an offer to make it, which is the quickest way to learn whether it was forgotten for a reason.
Is there a drink you'd rather not make?
Why ask it
Reluctance is seldom snobbery. More often it is a drink with many steps that ties up their station on a busy night, or one the bar is not set up for, with no blender or no fresh mint. Hearing which one saves you from ordering it at the worst possible moment.
Bar and town
How long has this place been a bar, and what was it before?
Why ask it
Old rooms come with stories about former owners, earlier names and what the back room used to be, and staff inherit them even when they are half legend. In a new bar, ask what the owners set out to do instead.
What's the story behind that sign over the bar?
Why ask it
Swap in whatever your eye keeps going back to: a framed photo, a trophy, a row of mugs with names on them. Things stay on a bar wall because somebody cared about them, and this is a question only this room can answer, which is why it lands better than anything general.
Do you have regulars whose drink you start making when they walk in?
Why ask it
Ask about the habit and leave the people out of it. A good bartender will not hand over names or stories about anyone who drinks here, and should not be asked to. What you learn is what kind of bar this is on the nights you are not in it.
When's the best time to come in if I want a seat and a quiet room?
Why ask it
Most bars have a soft hour and the staff know exactly when it falls: the gap after the after-work crowd, the early part of a wet weeknight. It is also the hour when the longer questions on this page stop being an imposition.
Where do you go for a drink on your night off?
Why ask it
People who serve drinks for a living tend to be particular about where they are served, so the place they name is usually worth the walk. Mention who sent you only if they tell you to.
I'm only in town for a couple of days. Where should I eat?
Why ask it
A bartender hears visitors' verdicts on the restaurants nearby and finishes work when most kitchens have closed, so they tend to know what is good and what is still open late. Say what you feel like and what you want to spend, or you will get the place they send everyone.
What's the easiest way to get home from here at closing time?
Why ask it
Ask before you need to, not at the door when the lights come up. Staff know when the last train or bus leaves, where taxis actually stop and whether ride apps struggle on this street at that hour. Some will call a car for you if you ask.
If someone felt unsafe in here, what's the best way to let you know?
Why ask it
Some bars train staff for exactly this and have a phrase or a quiet signal, and others simply want to be told directly. It costs one question to find out how it works in this room, and it is worth knowing before you or a friend ever need it.
Bar manners
What's the best way for a customer to get on your good side?
Why ask it
The answers tend to be small mechanics more than money: knowing your order before you reach the bar, having your payment ready, sliding your empties within reach. Whatever they list, do it for the rest of the night and see what changes.
What's the customer habit that wears on you most?
Why ask it
You may hear about waved cash, whistling, or 'make it a strong one' said with a wink. The list is short, and hearing it once makes you a better customer in every bar after this one. Keep it light, and do not ask who is doing it tonight.
When it's three deep in here, what's the right way to get your attention?
Why ask it
Ask on a quiet night and use the answer on a loud one. You will probably hear some version of stand where you can be seen, look up and have your order ready, since a bartender is often keeping a rough queue in their head even when it does not look like it. If this bar has its own system, such as one end for ordering, they will tell you.
How does tipping work here: each round, or on the tab at the end?
Why ask it
Customs differ sharply between countries and even between bars on one street, and in some places a service charge is already on the bill. Staff would far rather explain than watch you guess wrong. Ask early, before the first round is settled.
Is it okay to offer to buy you a drink?
Why ask it
Plenty of bars do not allow staff to drink on shift, and some bartenders do not drink at all, so asking first spares them an awkward refusal. Where tipping is the custom, a tip says the same thing. Take a no as house policy, never as a snub.
If a drink isn't to my taste, is it all right to tell you?
Why ask it
Better to learn how this bar handles it than to leave a full glass and say nothing. Some places will adjust or swap a drink that missed and some will charge for the second, so ask how it works here. Speak up after a sip or two, kindly, and name what is wrong: too sweet, too strong, too bitter.
The job
How do you keep all these orders in your head?
Why ask it
Each bartender has a system: grouping drinks by glass, building in a fixed sequence, repeating the round back. Ask just after you have watched them clear a wave of orders, when the compliment in the question is obviously meant.
What can you tell about someone from what they order?
Why ask it
A good answer is more about how people order than what: who has decided before they reach the bar, who is ordering for a group, who wants to be asked a question back. If they turn it around and read your drink, take it in good humor, since you did ask.
What's the strangest drink anyone has asked you for?
Why ask it
An easy one to answer, because odd orders get retold among bar staff until the telling is polished. Ask whether they made it and whether it was any good. Now and then the second answer is yes, and then you have something to order.
What's the wildest thing you've seen from behind this bar?
Why ask it
Anyone with a few years of late nights behind them has one, and it is rarely short, so save it for a slow shift. A good storyteller leaves the people in it unnamed. Follow their lead and do not press for who it was or whether they still come in.
Can you really spot a first date from back there?
Why ask it
Many say they can, and the tells they describe are small: both people reading the menu for too long, careful posture, one arriving early to choose the seats. Ask what gives it away in general, and leave any couple currently in the room out of it.
How do you tell when someone has had enough?
Why ask it
Good answers are about behavior, not a drink count: repeating a story, fumbling with a card, getting loud or going very quiet. The rules on serving someone who is drunk differ from place to place, so this is also how you learn what the job asks of them here. Ask out of curiosity only, never as a challenge on behalf of yourself or a friend.
How do you calm a difficult customer without making a scene?
Why ask it
The best answers are physical and unglamorous: drop your voice, slow down, bring water, find them a seat away from the crowd, fetch a colleague. Notice that none of it is about winning the argument, which is worth taking home with you.
Do people really tell you their troubles, the way they do in the movies?
Why ask it
Often the answer is yes, and sometimes more often than they would choose. Pay attention to the tone. Some are proud of that side of the work and some find it the heaviest part, in which case do not add yours to the pile.
What happens after last call that customers never see?
Why ask it
Closing is cleaning, counting and restocking, and it can run well past the moment the door locks. Hearing it described explains why lingering over the last inch of a beer is less charming than it feels, and why the lights come up when they do.
Would you rather work a packed Friday or a slow Tuesday?
Why ask it
Either answer comes with a reason, and the reason is the interesting part: the rhythm of a full bar when everything is working, or the nights when there is time to make a drink properly and talk. If they pick the slow one, you have just been told when to come back.
What's the best part of this job?
Why ask it
It sounds like small talk and tends not to be answered that way. Listen for whether they talk about the drinks, the people or the crew they work with, because that tells you which of the other questions on this page they would enjoy and which to skip.
What do you wish customers understood about this job?
Why ask it
You may hear about the physical side: the hours on their feet, the late finishes, working every night that other people are celebrating. This is the question that moves the conversation from drinks to work, so ask it only if you mean to listen to the whole answer.
What's the nicest thing a customer has ever done for you?
Why ask it
A kinder cousin of asking about their best tip, which is really a question about their income. The stories it brings out are often not about money at all: someone who came back to apologize, a regular who brought food on a holiday shift. Without your asking, it also shows what a good customer looks like to them.
Their story
How did you end up behind a bar?
Why ask it
There are many routes in: a summer job that stuck, a move across from the kitchen or the floor, a bartending course, a family bar. How they tell it shows whether this is the trade they chose or the job they have for now, and both are fine answers. Do not follow up by asking what they 'really' want to do.
How long have you been bartending, and how much of that here?
Why ask it
The places someone has worked are a quick map of what they are good at: hotel bars, dives, restaurants, clubs. Someone who has stayed in one room for years will tell you about the bar instead, which is just as good.
Who taught you the most about this work?
Why ask it
Much of this trade is learned standing next to someone better, so most people can name that person at once. Ask what they copied. It is often a small habit, a way of greeting people or of setting up a station, that you can then watch them do.
Do you have a drink of your own on the menu?
Why ask it
If they do, order it, and ask how many versions it went through before this one. If someone else sets the menu, ask what they would add. People who have been waiting for that question answer fast, and the drink may well appear in front of you.
What do you drink when you're not working?
Why ask it
The answer is often plainer than the menu in front of you: a beer, a glass of wine, sometimes nothing at all. Do not read much into it. This is a question about them and not a recommendation, and if they say they do not drink, leave it there.
What's the best bar you've ever sat at as a customer?
Why ask it
It is often not about the drinks. People describe a bartender who remembered them, a room with the right light, or one night that went well, and that tells you what they are trying to build for the people on your side of the bar.
What's changed about what people order since you started?
Why ask it
This needs someone with a few years behind them, so ask it once you know how long they have been at it. You will hear which spirits came into fashion and went out again, and whether more people now ask for drinks without alcohol. Then ask which change they would happily reverse.
If someone told you they wanted to do this for a living, what would you say?
Why ask it
Advice for a newcomer shows what they think the job really demands, and it is seldom recipes. If the answer comes out discouraging, treat that as information about the trade, not about them. If you are the someone, say so, because the advice gets more specific.
Talking to a bartender without getting in the way
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Pick the right night
The ordering questions work on any night, as long as you ask one and decide quickly. The rest do not work during a rush: a bartender with a full rail of orders will answer in four words, and fairly so. Aim for the early part of a weeknight, or the lull after one crowd leaves and before the next arrives. If people are standing three deep at the bar, drink your drink and come back another day.
Where to sit
- Sit at the bar itself. Table service puts a server between you and the person you want to talk to.
- Stay clear of the spot where servers collect drinks for the tables, which is usually at one end. You will be in the way there.
- A seat near where the drinks are made is the best one: the bartender comes back to it between orders and can talk in fragments.
- If one person is working the whole bar alone, keep every question short enough to answer while their hands are moving.
Order first, then ask
- Buy something before you start asking questions. A person who takes a seat and only asks questions reads as a problem.
- Order decisively the first time. Being an easy customer early buys you patience later.
- Where tipping is the custom, tip on the first round and not only on the last, so the conversation is not shadowed by whether you will. If you are not sure how it works where you are, the tipping question under Bar manners is the one to ask.
- If you are getting long answers and the bar fills up, close the conversation yourself before they have to.
Which group to use when
- What to order: any time, including a busy night. One question, then choose. These are the ones that also get you a better drink.
- The craft: while they are making yours or someone else's, when the answer is in their hands and they can show you.
- Bar and town: early in the evening, when the room is quiet enough for a story. The questions about where to eat, where to drink and how to get home are best asked as you settle up.
- Bar manners: early, and before you need the answer. The tipping question belongs before your first round is settled.
- The job: once you have been there a while and the bar is calm. These are the long answers.
- Their story: last, and on a slow night. If the first answer is short, leave the rest for another visit.
Follow-ups that actually go somewhere
- 'Why that one?' does more work than any second question you could prepare.
- When they name a drink, make it your next order. Taking a recommendation seriously is the best follow-up there is.
- Ask for the mechanics: how long they shake, what ice they use, why they chose that glass. Specifics are easy to answer while working.
- If they mention a former bar or city, follow that thread. It is often a better story than the drink talk.
What not to ask
- What they earn, including how much they make in tips. Asking how tipping works here is fine; their income is not your business.
- Whether they are single, or what time they finish. Being friendly is part of the job, and they cannot walk away from the bar.
- Questions about other customers by name, or gossip about regulars sitting within earshot.
- Requests for free drinks or a heavier pour, however lightly they are framed.
- Inventory, payroll and licensing questions, unless they raise the business side themselves. Many bartenders do not run the place and cannot answer.
- Anything that requires them to criticize their employer while standing in their employer's bar.
If the conversation stalls
Some bartenders are not talkers, and that is a professional choice, not rudeness. If two questions get short answers, stop asking and enjoy the drink. You will get more from them on a third visit, when you are a face they recognize, than you will by pressing on your first.