Questions to Ask Before Babysitting
36 questions to work through with parents before they leave, covering contact details, food and medication, the bedtime routine, house rules, what is off limits, and when they want you to call. Written for a first job with a new family, and short enough to get through in ten minutes at the door.
The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
What time will you be back, and where will you be?
Why ask it
Both halves matter. A parent forty minutes away at a restaurant can return quickly; a parent at a wedding two hours out cannot, which changes how you handle a problem at nine o'clock. Vague answers are worth pinning down, since 'late' means very different things to different families.
What's the best number to reach you on, and who should I call if I can't get hold of you?
Why ask it
Phones get left in coats and venues are loud, so one number is not enough. Ask for a second name and number, and check whether that person knows they are on the list, because a stranger answering a call at ten at night is of limited help to anyone.
Is there a neighbour or relative nearby who could come over if I needed help?
Why ask it
Someone five minutes away solves problems that a parent an hour away cannot: a locked door, a power cut, a child you cannot settle. Ask for the name and, ideally, that the parent tells that person you are there tonight.
What should I know about each child before you go?
Why ask it
An open question about each child individually surfaces the things parents forget to list: one who is frightened of the hallway, one who does not eat anything green, one who has just started school and gets overtired. Ask it child by child rather than about the group.
What's the plan for the evening, and roughly what time does each part happen?
Why ask it
You want the sequence and the clock times: dinner, bath, story, lights out. Children are much easier to manage when the order matches what they expect, and knowing the times lets you spot when things are drifting rather than discovering it at ten.
What can they eat, and is there anything they must not have?
Why ask it
Ask what is already prepared, what is allowed as a snack, and which cupboard is fair game. This is also where families mention rules that are not about safety at all, like no sweets after six, which cause arguments precisely because nobody thought to mention them.
Do any of them have allergies, and if so where is the medication and how do I use it?
Why ask it
Do not accept only the name of the allergy. Ask to be shown the medication, including an adrenaline auto-injector if there is one, and ask to be walked through using it. If you have not been shown, you cannot help in the moment when it matters.
Is anyone due any medicine while you're out, and at what dose and time?
Why ask it
Get the drug, the dose, the time and whether it has already been given tonight, and take a photo of the label rather than trusting your memory. Ask what to do if a dose is refused or brought straight back up, since that is the part parents forget to cover.
What's the bedtime routine, and what do you do if they won't stay in bed?
Why ask it
The second half is the useful half. Every family has a method, and following theirs matters more than whether yours would work better. Ask specifically about the light, the door, the comforter, and how many times they normally get up.
If the baby wakes up crying, what would you like me to do?
Why ask it
Approaches differ sharply, from picking up immediately to waiting a set number of minutes, and a babysitter improvising creates a difficult night for everyone afterward. Ask about feeding too: whether there is a bottle, where it is, and how they want it warmed.
What are the rules on screens tonight, and for how long?
Why ask it
Children will tell you confidently that they are allowed more than they are. Getting the limit and the specific programme or device from a parent means you are enforcing their rule rather than negotiating your own, which is a far easier position to hold.
How do you handle it when they push back, and what am I allowed to do?
Why ask it
You need to know both the family's approach and your own boundaries: whether you can remove a toy, send someone to their room, or simply hold the line and wait. Ask what a parent would say in that moment so you can use words the children already recognise.
Which rooms, cupboards or outdoor areas are off limits?
Why ask it
Every house has some: a study, a garage, a pond, a gate that must stay shut, a room with a dog in it. Ask for a quick walk round rather than a list, because being shown takes two minutes and is far more reliable than being told.
Where are the first aid kit, a torch, and the fuse box, and how do the locks work?
Why ask it
You will not be able to find any of these in the dark with a crying child in your arms. Unfamiliar door locks are the most common problem: some need a key from the inside, which matters a great deal if you ever need to get everyone out quickly.
Is anyone else likely to come to the door or let themselves in tonight?
Why ask it
A grandparent with a key, a delivery, a lodger, an older sibling coming home at eleven. Knowing in advance saves you from either turning away someone who lives there or opening the door to someone you should not. Agree what you should do about anyone unexpected.
Am I allowed to take them out, drive them anywhere, or have anyone join me here?
Why ask it
Assume the answer is no unless it is explicitly yes, particularly about driving, where insurance and car seats are involved. Ask about visitors plainly too, since it is far better to be told the rule now than to be discovered breaking one you had guessed at.
What would you want me to do if one of them was sick or hurt themselves?
Why ask it
Establishes the threshold for calling rather than coping, and gets you the practical details: where the thermometer is, whether they can have children's paracetamol and at what dose, which clinic they use. Ask whether written consent for treatment is needed, which some families arrange in advance.
At what point would you want me to call you rather than deal with it myself?
Why ask it
Parents differ enormously, and both extremes create problems: constant messages ruin their evening, while a sitter who waits too long leaves them uninformed about something they would have wanted to know. Ask them to name two or three situations that warrant a call.
Is anything going on at home at the moment that might affect them tonight?
Why ask it
A new baby, a grandparent in hospital, a pet that died last week, a parent away for work. Children rarely mention these things directly and instead show them as clinginess, anger or a bad bedtime. Knowing the context turns a baffling evening into an understandable one.
What's the rate, when do you pay, and what happens if you're back later than planned?
Why ask it
Settle it before you start, including the hourly figure, whether time after midnight is paid differently, and how they will pay. Awkward for two sentences and much worse if left until the end of a long evening, especially with a family you want to work for again.
What usually helps with the goodbye at the door?
Why ask it
Parents know whether their child does better with a long farewell or a quick one, and whether a distraction is set up in advance. A drawn-out departure with a crying child is often the parents' instinct and the wrong move.
What usually calms each of them down when they're crying?
Why ask it
Ask about each child separately, because what soothes one often provokes the other. Parents will name something specific: a song, a blanket, or being left alone for two minutes.
What are they not allowed to do that they'll tell me they are?
Why ask it
Invites parents to head off the negotiating that starts the moment the door shuts. Most will laugh and then list three specific things, which is exactly what you need.
Anything I need to do with the pets, and is any of them nervous around strangers?
Why ask it
Pets are the instruction most often forgotten in babysitting. A dog that guards its food or is uneasy with new people is a genuine risk with small children in the room.
Is there anyone who should not come in or collect the children?
Why ask it
This is an awkward question that occasionally matters a great deal, in separated families and in households with a restricted contact arrangement. Asking it plainly, once, is better than guessing at the door.
If I had to call for an ambulance, what's the address here and what should I be able to tell them?
Why ask it
An emergency operator will ask for the address, the child's age, and any condition or medication. Write it down rather than trusting that you will recall it under pressure.
What has caught out other sitters here?
Why ask it
Parents will often volunteer the specific thing they have forgotten to mention: a boiler switch, a door that locks behind you, a child who hides, a smoke alarm that goes off if you use the toaster.
What am I welcome to do once they are asleep: kitchen, television, homework, guests?
Why ask it
Assume nothing is allowed until it is offered, particularly having anyone else in the house, which is the fastest way for a sitter to lose a job. Asking about food also spares you a hungry evening.
How will I get home, and does that change if you are late?
Why ask it
Sort the lift or the taxi and who pays for it now. This is the arrangement most often left implied, and it is the reason sitters end up walking home at one in the morning without saying anything about it.
Which doors, gates, windows, or stairs do I need to keep closed or watch?
Why ask it
Every house has one thing an outsider does not know: a stair gate that does not latch, a back door that unlocks from inside, a window a toddler can reach. Ask them to point at these rather than describe them.
What does it look like when they are getting overtired, and what helps?
Why ask it
Parents can usually name the specific signal, a particular whine, going quiet, becoming silly, and the thing that calms it. Recognising it twenty minutes early prevents most of the difficult part of an evening.
If they tell me something you would want to know, how should I pass it on?
Why ask it
Children say things to a sitter that they do not say to a parent. Agreeing in advance that you will mention it, by text or at the door, means you are not deciding alone whether something matters.
What are the children's names and ages, and what does each of them like to be called?
Why ask it
Using the name a child actually answers to settles the first ten minutes faster than anything else you can do. Ages also tell you what you can reasonably expect them to do for themselves.
Is there a comfort item they need at bedtime, and where is it kept?
Why ask it
A missing toy or blanket can turn a straightforward bedtime into a long search with a distressed child. Ask whether there is a spare and where it lives.
Are they allowed to open the front door, answer the phone, or let anyone in?
Why ask it
Children will offer to do all three, usually with confidence. Having the parents' rule means you are enforcing their decision rather than improvising at the door.
Is there anything you would like me to do after they are asleep: tidying, dishes, laundry?
Why ask it
Asking makes the expectation explicit rather than something you discover from a comment the next morning. It also lets you agree what is included in the rate and what is not.
The ten minutes before they walk out the door
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Ask to be shown, not told
Parents leaving the house are distracted and will describe things faster than you can absorb them. Instead of listening to a list, walk through the house with them: the kitchen, the medicine cupboard, the bathroom, the children's rooms, the doors that lock and the ones that stick. Two minutes of walking around answers a dozen questions you would not have thought to ask, and it gives the children time to see you being welcomed into the house rather than appearing after their parents have gone.
Have these on your phone before they leave
- Both parents' numbers, and the second contact's number, saved rather than written on paper.
- The house address, so you can read it out to an emergency operator without hunting for it.
- A photo of any medication label, showing the dose and the child's name.
- The wifi password, and where the router is if it needs restarting.
- The alarm code and how to silence it, if there is an alarm.
- Any consent note the family has written for medical treatment.
If this is your first time with the family
- Arrive fifteen minutes early. That is where all of this fits, and it costs you very little.
- Meet the children while their parents are still there. Being introduced is far easier than arriving after they have gone.
- Say what experience you have and what you are not confident about, especially with babies or medication. Nobody minds being told in advance.
- Ask how they want you to handle bedtime resistance, and repeat it back so you are certain.
- Agree what you will send them during the evening. A short message after bedtime reassures most parents and prevents them calling.
Deciding when to call
Handle the ordinary things yourself: a refused dinner, a long bedtime, an argument over a toy, a graze. Call the parents for anything involving a temperature that concerns you, a head injury, a fall from height, breathing trouble, a reaction to food, a medicine given wrongly, or a child who cannot be comforted at all. For anything that looks like a serious injury or an allergic reaction, call emergency services first and the parents second. No family will criticise you for calling too early, and a delay is the only version of this that goes badly.
If you're the parent reading this
Write the answers down once and keep the sheet on the fridge, since a sitter reading a page is calmer than a sitter recalling a doorstep conversation. Include both numbers, the address, allergies and doses, the bedtime routine, the nearest urgent care, and one line giving permission to seek medical treatment if you cannot be reached. Say plainly what you would want a call about. Most difficult evenings come from a sitter guessing at a rule that was never stated rather than from anything going seriously wrong.