Questions to Ask Book Lovers
Questions for talking to someone who reads a lot, whether you have just met them or have known them for years. They get past naming favorite titles and into reading habits, abandoned books, and shelves.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What are you reading at the moment?
Why ask it
The safest opener, and more useful than asking about favorites, because a book in progress comes with an unfinished opinion the person is still willing to argue about.
What was the last book you stayed up too late finishing?
Why ask it
Gets at compulsion rather than admiration. People often name something they would leave off a list of favorites, which is usually the honest answer about their taste.
Which book do you push on people whether or not they asked?
Why ask it
Everyone who reads seriously has one. The choice tells you what they think reading is for: consolation, argument, information, or escape.
What did you read as a child that stuck with you?
Why ask it
Childhood reading is where most lifelong habits were set. Watch for whether they name a book or the circumstances, a library card, an older sibling's shelf, a long illness.
Which book made you want to talk to somebody the moment you finished it?
Why ask it
Identifies the books they experienced as unfinished business. If they mention having nobody to talk to about it, you have found the conversation they actually want to have.
Where do you do most of your reading?
Why ask it
Bus, bath, bed, lunch break. Answers here explain a lot about what someone reads, since a commuter reads differently from someone with two quiet hours at night.
How do you decide what to read next?
Why ask it
Reveals whether they follow reviews, a particular friend, a prize list, or whatever the library had. It also tells you how much a recommendation from you would be worth.
Do you finish books you are not enjoying?
Why ask it
A real dividing line among readers, and people hold their position firmly. Abandoners will name the book that cured them of finishing, which is a story in itself.
Which book have you read more than once, and what was different the second time?
Why ask it
The second half is the question. Rereaders usually report noticing the parent rather than the child, or the joke rather than the tragedy, and that shift dates their own life.
Which book got you closest to crying?
Why ask it
Softer than asking what made them cry, so it stays answerable in a first conversation. The book named is often not sad in an obvious way, which is worth asking about.
What do you read that you would not mention at a dinner party?
Why ask it
Invites the honest half of a reading life: romance, thrillers, fan fiction, self-help. People relax noticeably once they are allowed to admit it, and the conversation improves.
Is there a famous book you have never got on with?
Why ask it
Gives permission to dissent from the canon, which most readers enjoy. The reason matters more than the title, since it usually explains what they cannot forgive in a book.
What is on your shelf unread that you still fully intend to read?
Why ask it
The unread pile is a portrait of who someone hopes to be. Notice whether they sound guilty or cheerful about it, because that difference tells you how they treat reading, as duty or as pleasure.
Has an adaptation ever got a book right?
Why ask it
Framed as a genuine question rather than an invitation to complain, so you get a defense of something specific instead of the usual dismissal of all film versions.
Do you write in your books?
Why ask it
Small question, strong opinions. Annotators and preservers each think the other is doing it wrong, and the answer often reveals whether books came into their life through school or through pleasure.
How are your shelves arranged?
Why ask it
By color, by country, by order of acquisition, or not at all. It exposes how someone thinks about their collection, and whether it is a working tool or a record of the past.
Which book changed your mind about something?
Why ask it
Ask for the specific opinion that moved, not just the title. Many readers discover while answering that they cannot name one, which is an interesting result in itself.
Do you read one book at a time or several?
Why ask it
Practical and revealing. Multi-book readers usually have a system by mood or location, and describing it tells you how reading is threaded through their day.
Whose next book would you buy without reading what it is about?
Why ask it
Identifies genuine loyalty rather than admiration. A reader with nobody on that list is often between phases and open to being pointed somewhere new.
Which book do you wish you could read again for the first time?
Why ask it
A good closing question, and it lands differently from asking about favorites, since it is about the experience of reading rather than the quality of the book.
Talking about books without it turning into an exam
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
How to keep it a conversation
- Ask what a book was like to read rather than whether it was good. Good invites a verdict, and verdicts end conversations.
- When they name something you have not read, say so plainly and ask what it is about. Pretending gets found out in one follow-up question.
- Match the register. If they are talking about a thriller they read on holiday, do not answer with a nineteenth century novel and a thesis.
- Offer your own answer to every question you ask. Otherwise it starts to feel like an interview, and readers are often shy about being examined.
Giving a recommendation that lands
Ask about the last one they loved first
Find out what they liked about it, the voice, the pace, the setting, the fact that nothing terrible happened. Recommending by genre alone is how people end up with books they never open.
Name one book, not five
A list gets forgotten before the conversation ends. One title with one sentence about why you thought of them specifically is far more likely to be read.
Say how long it is and how hard
People abandon recommendations that turn out to be six hundred pages of dense prose. Being honest about the demand makes the recommendation more likely to be taken up.
What puts readers off
- Spoilers, including for books published a century ago. Ask how far in they are before you say anything about the plot.
- Correcting someone's pronunciation of an author's name, or their reading of a book. Neither wins you anything.
- Treating popular fiction as a failing. Most heavy readers read widely and will simply stop telling you what they read.
- Asking how many books they get through in a year, which turns reading into a scoreboard.
- Lending a book you need back. If it matters to you, recommend it instead.