20 Questions

Questions to Ask Brother

Meaningful questions to ask your brother to strengthen your bond, learn about his life, and deepen your relationship.

1

What's been the best part of your day so far?

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Why this works

Opens up positive conversation and helps you connect with what's going well in his life right now.

2

What's something you're really proud of that you've accomplished recently?

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Why this works

Shows you care about his achievements and helps you celebrate his successes together.

3

What's been challenging you lately and how are you handling it?

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Why this works

Demonstrates your support and helps you understand what he's going through so you can be there for him.

4

What's something you've learned about yourself recently?

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Why this works

Shows interest in his personal growth and helps you understand how he's developing as a person.

5

What's a memory from our childhood that always makes you smile?

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Why this works

Brings back shared experiences and helps you bond over positive memories from your past together.

6

What's something you wish you could tell your younger self?

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Why this works

Shows you value his wisdom and helps you understand his perspective on life and growth.

7

What's something you're looking forward to in the next few months?

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Why this works

Shows interest in his future plans and helps you understand what's exciting him right now.

8

What's something you've been thinking about that you haven't shared with anyone?

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Why this works

Creates a safe space for deeper sharing and helps you understand what's really on his mind.

9

What's something you appreciate about our relationship?

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Why this works

Helps you understand what he values about your bond and strengthens your connection.

10

What's something you'd like to do together that we haven't done in a while?

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Why this works

Shows you want to spend quality time together and helps you plan meaningful activities.

11

What's something you're grateful for right now?

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Why this works

Brings positivity to your conversation and helps you understand what's bringing him joy.

12

What's something you've been working on improving about yourself?

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Why this works

Shows support for his personal development and helps you understand his growth goals.

13

What's something you wish you could change about the world?

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Why this works

Reveals his values and concerns and helps you understand what matters most to him.

14

What's something you've been curious about or want to learn more about?

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Why this works

Shows interest in his intellectual pursuits and helps you understand what's capturing his attention.

15

What's something you're proud of about our family?

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Why this works

Brings up shared family experiences and helps you understand what he values about your family.

16

What's something you've been struggling with that you'd like help with?

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Why this works

Shows you're there to support him and helps you understand how you can help him.

17

What's something you've been excited about that you haven't had a chance to share?

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Why this works

Gives him a chance to share good news and helps you celebrate his positive experiences.

18

What's something you've been thinking about regarding your future?

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Why this works

Shows interest in his long-term plans and helps you understand his hopes and dreams.

19

What's something you'd like to know about me that you've never asked?

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Why this works

Encourages mutual sharing and helps you both learn more about each other.

20

What's the most important thing you want me to know about you right now?

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Why this works

Gives him a chance to share what's most important to him and helps you understand his current state.

Building a Stronger Bond with Your Brother

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Be Genuinely Interested

Show real interest in his answers and ask follow-up questions to deepen your understanding.

Listen Without Judgment

Create a safe space where he feels comfortable sharing without fear of criticism or judgment.

Share Your Own Experiences

When appropriate, share your own experiences to create mutual understanding and connection.

Question Sequences

The Daily Check-in Sequence

1
Start with: 'What's been the best part of your day so far?'
2
Follow with: 'What's been challenging you lately and how are you handling it?'
3
Conclude with: 'What's something you're grateful for right now?'

The Deep Connection Sequence

1
Begin with: 'What's something you've been thinking about that you haven't shared with anyone?'
2
Continue with: 'What's something you'd like to know about me that you've never asked?'
3
Finish with: 'What's the most important thing you want me to know about you right now?'

Common Pitfalls

Don't Interrupt or Rush

Give him time to think and respond fully. Don't interrupt or rush him to answer quickly.

Avoid Being Critical

Don't criticize his answers or try to fix his problems unless he specifically asks for advice.

Don't Make It About You

Focus on him and his experiences. Don't turn every question into an opportunity to talk about yourself.

Conversation Templates

The Daily Check-in Template

1
Step 1: Check in on his day: 'What's been the best part of your day so far?'
2
Step 2: Explore challenges: 'What's been challenging you lately and how are you handling it?'
3
Step 3: End on a positive note: 'What's something you're grateful for right now?'

The Deep Connection Template

1
Step 1: Create safe space: 'What's something you've been thinking about that you haven't shared with anyone?'
2
Step 2: Encourage mutual sharing: 'What's something you'd like to know about me that you've never asked?'
3
Step 3: Get to the heart: 'What's the most important thing you want me to know about you right now?'

Further Reading

"The Sibling Effect" by Jeffrey Kluger
"Siblings" by Kate Strohm
Family relationship resources

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