Questions to Ask Donors
Questions to ask donors when you are the fundraiser across the table: on a first discovery visit, a thank-you call or a yearly catch-up with someone who has given for a long time. The 45 questions are grouped by what you are trying to learn: why they gave, how their giving works, what they make of your work, how they want to hear from you and be thanked, how else they might get involved, and what comes next. Each has a note on what the answer tells you or what to do with it. Nobody should ask all of them in one sitting. Pick four for the visit in front of you, and see the guide below the list for the questions donors tend to ask back.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Their story
What made you give to us the first time?
Why ask it
There is nearly always a particular trigger: a friend asked, a relative was ill, they came to one event. Take it down in their own words, because it is the first thing to go missing when a file changes hands, and it shows you what kind of request reaches them.
How did you first hear about us?
Why ask it
Not the same as why they gave, and worth keeping apart: it names the neighbor, the board member or the mailing that actually reached them. If a person brought them in, ask whether the two are still in touch. That person may be the right one to bring along to a later visit.
What is your own connection to this cause?
Why ask it
A parent's illness, a child's school, the town they grew up in: when there is a person behind the gift, the rest of what they tell you makes more sense. Ask gently and only once. If they answer in a sentence and move on, let them, and never put the story in print without asking.
Which part of our work matters most to you?
Why ask it
Few donors care about every part of an organization equally. One program, one place or one group of people is usually what they picture when they give, and once you know which, you know what to report on. If they name something you have since closed, say so now.
What has kept you giving to us?
Why ask it
The reason for staying is often different from the reason for starting, and it is the one your next request rests on. Listen for whether it is the results, a person on your staff, or simple habit. Habit is the one to watch, since a new bank card or a change of address can end it.
What did you imagine your first gift would pay for?
Why ask it
Some picture a particular purchase, some a person helped, and few picture the salaries a gift often goes toward. Where their picture and the reality differ, say plainly what the money did. It is better heard from you across a table than worked out later from an annual report.
What should I know about you that our records would never tell me?
Why ask it
The file holds an address and a list of dates. What they choose to lead with, whether work, family, the town or a faith, is how they see themselves, so write that down first. Keep to what they offer, and do not use the opening to fish for what they are worth.
Where did your habit of giving come from?
Why ask it
People tend to answer with a parent, a faith community or a time someone helped them. That tells you what giving means to them, whether duty, gratitude or belonging, and so how they would want to be asked. The answer is usually a story about a person, so give it room and do not hurry to your next question.
Which gift, to any cause, are you proudest of?
Why ask it
Listen to why it felt good: they saw the result, they were thanked well, they were in at the start, it honored someone. You are hearing a description of the giving experience they would like again. Do not flinch if the gift went to another charity.
Giving
Which other causes do you support, and where do we sit among them?
Why ask it
You are asking to be ranked, which is uncomfortable and worth it. If you are not near the top, ask what the charity at the top does for them. It is often something small you could do too, like a call from the person who runs a program.
What are you hoping your giving will do, across everything you support?
Why ask it
Some donors have a plan, a few causes with a reason for each, and some give to whoever asks. A planner wants to know where you fit in the plan. Someone who gives as asked is telling you that the person asking matters more to them than the written case.
How do you decide about a gift: on your own, or with someone?
Why ask it
A spouse, an adult child, an adviser or the committee of a family fund each changes who needs to hear your case and what they will want on paper. Ask whether that person would like to join the next conversation. Better to learn it now than after a proposal has gone to one half of a household.
Is there a time of year when you decide about giving?
Why ask it
Some donors keep a fixed rhythm set by a bonus, a tax deadline, a fund's schedule or an annual family conversation. Asking once saves you from making your best case three months after the decision was made.
How do you prefer to give: one gift a year, monthly, or through a fund or a family foundation?
Why ask it
The route decides the paperwork, the timing and sometimes who signs off. A fund or a foundation may need a formal request by a date you did not know existed. Tax treatment differs by country and by person, so ask how it works for them and leave the advice to their own adviser.
Do your children or the rest of the family take part in your giving?
Why ask it
Some households decide around a table and some never mention it to their children. If the next generation is involved, the time to meet them is while the donor can introduce you. If they are not, leave it there: whether to bring them in is the family's to settle.
Would you rather give where the need is greatest, or toward something specific?
Why ask it
Find this out before you write a proposal. A donor who wants a named project and receives a general appeal feels unheard, while one who gives without conditions is showing a good deal of trust. Before you agree to a specific purpose, check with finance that the money can really be tracked that way.
Is there any part of our work you would not want your money going to?
Why ask it
Better to hear a restriction now than to discover it after the money is spent. The answer also shows convictions you might otherwise walk into in a newsletter. Do not agree to a restriction on the spot unless you know your organization can honor it.
How do you judge whether a charity is doing its job well?
Why ask it
Everyone has a yardstick: the share spent on running costs, one person's story, audited figures, who sits on the board. Whatever they name is what your reports to them should lead with. If you think their measure misleads, talk about it now, not after they have left over it.
Have you ever stopped supporting an organization, and what happened?
Why ask it
Whatever lost them there, whether silence, a scandal or a fourth mailing in a month, is the thing to avoid here. Let them tell it without guessing aloud whether it applies to you. If it plainly does, say so and say what you will change.
Our work
What has been your best experience with us?
Why ask it
It might be a visit, a letter from someone the work helped, or one conversation with a member of staff. Ask who was involved and pass it on to that person afterward. If nothing comes to mind, giving has so far been a transaction for them, and that is worth knowing too.
Is there anything about what we do that has never quite been explained to you?
Why ask it
A donor can fund a program for years without being sure what it does, and feel awkward admitting it. Asked this way, the gap is yours and not theirs. Explain in two plain sentences and offer to show them the rest in person.
Do you feel you know what your gifts have done?
Why ask it
A flat no is useful, because it is fixable, and a donor who cannot say what their money did has little reason to send more. Ask what kind of evidence would mean something to them: a figure, a photograph, a visit. Then send that and not the standard report.
What do you think we do better than anyone else?
Why ask it
You are collecting their words for your strengths, which are seldom the ones in the strategy document. A long pause counts as an answer too: it can mean they give out of loyalty to one person and could not say what sets you apart. Borrow their phrase the next time you write to them.
If you ran this place for a year, what would you change?
Why ask it
Putting it as a hypothetical lets them criticize without feeling rude. Take it down without defending anything, even when the idea was tried years ago and failed. Going back later to say what became of the suggestion is a better reason to call than any update.
How would you describe us to a friend who had never heard of us?
Why ask it
What comes back is the version of you that lives in a supporter's head, in the plain words they would really use. If it is years out of date or covers a tenth of what you do, your communications have a gap. You also learn whether they could make an introduction unaided.
Has there ever been a time we let you down?
Why ask it
A misspelled name, a thank-you two months late, a message nobody returned: donors remember these and seldom complain. Apologize once, skip the explanation about the database, and correct it the same day. Then tell them it is done, because they will not check.
What worries you about where we are heading?
Why ask it
A new director, a merger rumor or a shift in emphasis gets noticed long before anyone asks supporters what they make of it. A worry said to your face can be answered. One that stays private may show up later as a smaller gift with no explanation attached.
Contact
What have we sent you that you actually read?
Why ask it
Expect a shorter list than your mailing schedule. Ask what made that one piece worth opening, whether a name they knew, a photograph or the fact that it was short. You come away with a free review of everything else you send.
How would you like to hear from us, and how often?
Why ask it
Some donors want a call from the director once a year, some want nothing but a receipt, and both are fine if you know which. Ask about the channel too, since a person who never opens email may read every letter. Change the record that day, or the next mailing will undo the conversation.
Is there anything we send that you would rather we stopped?
Why ask it
Few people raise this unprompted. Asked directly, they will tell you about the event invitations, the free pens or the third appeal in November. Stopping it costs nothing and shows you asked in order to act.
How do you like to be thanked?
Why ask it
A handwritten card, a call from someone the gift helped, a prompt receipt and nothing more: tastes differ more than fundraisers assume. If they are unsure, ask about the best thank-you they ever received from anyone. People who say they need no thanks still tend to notice when none arrives.
Would you like your giving acknowledged publicly, or kept private?
Why ask it
It goes wrong in both directions: the person who hoped to be acknowledged and was not, and the one who found their name in a report they never approved. Ask about each place separately, since a name on a wall, a line in the annual report and a mention at an event are not the same thing to everyone.
If we had a bad year, how would you want to hear about it?
Why ask it
A deficit, a program closing or a director leaving reaches supporters one way or another. Asking ahead tells you who wants a phone call before it is public and who would sooner read it in the newsletter. Note the answer where your successor will find it, because the promise only counts when the bad year comes.
Involvement
Have you seen the work in person, and would you want to?
Why ask it
For some donors one visit does more than years of mail, and others would find it intrusive or simply have no time. If the answer is yes, fix a date before you leave, since open invitations are rarely taken up. Think first about what a visit is like for the people you serve, who are not an exhibit.
Besides money, is there another way you would like to help, with your time or a skill?
Why ask it
Some donors are waiting to be asked for the thing they are best at, whether that is bookkeeping, a trade or simply a free Tuesday. Only ask if you can use what is offered. An offer accepted and then never followed up does more harm than not asking.
Are there people you would introduce us to, and how would you want that handled?
Why ask it
The second half is what makes this askable. A donor who chooses the manner, a dinner they host or a note they write themselves, is far readier to open a door than one who feels asked for a list of friends. Let them set the pace, and tell them afterward how each introduction went.
Are our events something you enjoy, or something you put up with?
Why ask it
Offering the second option is what gets you the truth. Plenty of loyal supporters buy the table every year, dread the evening, and would be glad to be let off it. The ones who love the events will tell you which, and whom they like to bring.
Would you ever want a hand in how things are run, on a committee or the board?
Why ask it
Ask out of curiosity, not as an offer, unless a seat is yours to offer. Some donors want influence, many want none, and a few have a skill your board lacks. A no helps as well: they want to fund the work and trust you to run it.
Would you be willing to tell other supporters why you give?
Why ask it
A donor's own reasons persuade people in a way a brochure cannot, and being asked is a compliment. Agree exactly how it would be used, whether a quote, a short film or two minutes at an event, and show them the result before anyone else sees it. Accept a no without a second try.
Next steps
What would you want to see before you gave again?
Why ask it
A softer way of asking what would earn the next gift. The answer is often small and doable, such as one report or one visit, and then you have to deliver it. If they say nothing in particular, ask whether that means they are content or have not thought about it.
If you could pay for one thing here from start to finish, what would it be?
Why ask it
It lets them dream with no figure attached, and the answer shows the scale they think in. One donor names a van or a scholarship, another a building. Treat it as the subject of a proposal you may bring them one day, not as a pledge.
Where would you like to see this cause in ten years?
Why ask it
You find out whether the future they picture is the one in your plan. One donor wants the problem solved and your doors closed, another wants a branch in every town. If their picture and yours differ, it is easier to talk about now than after a large gift has been made toward the wrong one.
Have you ever thought about leaving something to a cause in your will?
Why ask it
Asked in general and not as a request, it is easier to answer, and some people have already done it and told nobody. If they have named you, thank them and ask whether they would like it on record. Leave the wording and the law to their own lawyer, and do not press further in the same visit.
Would you be open to me coming back with a specific idea?
Why ask it
This is the only request a discovery visit should carry. A yes gives the next meeting a purpose they have agreed to, and often they will tell you what the idea ought to be about. If they hesitate, find out what is in the way and deal with that first.
Is there anything I should have asked you and have not?
Why ask it
Donors often arrive with one thing they meant to say and no opening to say it. Give the question real silence. What follows can be the most important item of the visit: a change in their circumstances, a complaint, or an offer.
Running a Donor Conversation
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
The Visit Itself
Say at the start what this meeting is for
A donor who expects to be asked for money tends to spend the visit waiting for it. Say plainly at the start that today is about their view and that any request will come another time, and then keep to it.
Bring four questions and nothing to hand over
Materials turn the meeting into a presentation and give you something to hide behind. If they ask for something specific, that is a reason to come back, which is worth more than a brochure.
Let the silences run
The useful part of an answer often arrives after the pause, once the polite version has been given. Count to three before you fill it, and resist agreeing with everything they say.
Expect questions back
A donor who is asked good questions asks some in return: what the running costs are, what last year's money did, who else funds you. Have those answers ready before the visit. If you do not know one, say so and send it within the week.
Write the notes the same day
Names, dates, restrictions, preferences, the reason for the first gift. A visit that is not written up is one the organization never had, and whoever follows you will ask the same questions again. What you may keep on file about a supporter depends on the privacy law where you work, so check your own policy, and write nothing you would not want the donor to read.
Which Questions for Which Donor
A first discovery visit
Stay in the first two groups. The first gift, the part of the work that matters most to them and how they decide about a gift are enough for an hour. Close by asking whether you may come back with a specific idea.
A thank-you call
Ten minutes, one or two questions. Ask how they like to be thanked or whether they know what their gift did, and leave the rest for a visit. A call that turns into a survey undoes the thanks.
Someone who has given for years
They have earned the harder ones: what has kept them giving, what worries them about your direction, what they would change. With a long-standing donor the question about a will is also less abrupt.
A donor who has gone quiet
Ask what they imagined their gift would pay for and whether you ever let them down, then listen without defending. You are there to find out what happened. Whether they give again can wait until you know.
What to Get Into the Record
- The trigger for the first gift, in the donor's own words
- How they first heard of you, and who brought them in
- The part of the work they care about most, in their words
- Who else is involved in the decision, and their name
- The month or season when giving is decided
- Contact preference: channel, frequency and who from
- How they want to be thanked
- Anything they asked you to stop sending
- Recognition preference, including where they do not want to be named
- Any part of the work they do not want to fund
- Anything they offered besides money, and whether anyone followed up
Questions Donors Ask You Back
- How much of what I give reaches the work itself, and what does the rest pay for?
- What did the money you raised last year actually do?
- Who else funds you, and what happens if one of them stops?
- Why this project, and why now?
- How will I hear what came of my gift, and when?
- What will you do with my details, and who else will see them?
Where These Visits Go Wrong
Asking for money in a discovery visit
Having promised to listen and then asking anyway costs you the trust that made the visit valuable. If the donor raises it themselves, you can follow, but do not engineer that.
Explaining instead of asking
A fundraiser under pressure fills the time with impact stories the donor did not ask for. If you did most of the talking, you leave knowing little you did not know when you arrived.
Recording only the pleasant parts
Complaints and doubts are the most useful things a donor tells you, and the easiest to leave out of a contact report. Write down the criticism, especially if it concerns a colleague.
Not closing the loop
Asking what they would want to see and then not sending it does more damage than never asking. Note every promise you make and put the follow-up in your calendar before you drive away.