Questions to Ask Donors
For fundraisers sitting down with an existing donor, whether it is a first discovery visit or a stewardship call. These 20 questions cover why they gave, how the decision actually gets made, what they read, what they want their name on, and what would make them stop.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What made you give the first time?
Why ask it
The first gift usually has a specific trigger: a friend asked, something happened to a family member, an event they attended. Organizations lose this story within a year of the person joining the database, and it is the most useful thing in the file.
Do you remember who or what put us in front of you?
Why ask it
Tells you which channels and which people actually produce donors, as opposed to which ones produce clicks. It also surfaces board members and volunteers who are quietly recruiting on your behalf.
What did you expect to happen with that gift?
Why ask it
The gap between what they imagined and what you did with it is where lapsed giving comes from. Some picture a specific purchase, some a person helped, and few picture the payroll their gift actually funded.
Which other organizations do you support, and how do we compare?
Why ask it
You are asking to be ranked, which is uncomfortable and worth doing. Their answer tells you the size of your share of their giving, and often names the thing another charity does that you should be doing.
How do these decisions get made, on your own or with someone?
Why ask it
A spouse, an adult child, an advisor or a donor-advised fund each changes who you should be talking to and what you need to provide. Fundraisers routinely cultivate the wrong member of a household for years.
Is there a time of year when you decide about giving?
Why ask it
Many donors have a fixed rhythm set by a bonus, a tax deadline, a fund's schedule or an annual family conversation. Asking once saves you from making your best case three months after the decision was made.
What would you want to see before you gave again?
Why ask it
A softer way of asking what would earn the next gift, and it usually produces something achievable, such as one report or one visit. If the answer is nothing in particular, you are further from a second gift than the database suggests.
What do you already know about our work, and what has never been explained to you?
Why ask it
Donors are often embarrassed not to understand a program they have funded for years, and nobody has offered to explain it plainly. The second half of the question gives them permission to say so.
What have we sent you that you actually read?
Why ask it
Expect the answer to be shorter than your communications calendar. It is the cheapest possible audit of your newsletter, annual report and appeal mail, and it comes from the person you produce them for.
How much contact do you want from us, and from whom?
Why ask it
Some donors want a call from the director once a year, some want nothing but a receipt, and both are fine if you know which. Getting this wrong causes more attrition than any argument about the mission.
Is there anything we send that you would rather we stopped?
Why ask it
Almost nobody volunteers this, and asked directly they will tell you about the event invitations, the merchandise or the third appeal in November. It also signals that the relationship is not simply extractive.
What would you want your name on, and what would you rather stay quiet?
Why ask it
Assumed recognition is a common way to upset a donor, in both directions: the person who wanted acknowledgment and did not get it, and the one who found their name in a report they never approved.
Is there any part of our work you would not want your money going to?
Why ask it
This surfaces restrictions before they become an accounting problem rather than after. It also reveals convictions the donor holds that you may otherwise blunder into in a newsletter.
Have you ever stopped supporting an organization, and what happened?
Why ask it
A description of the exact behavior that lost them, whether it was silence, a scandal or too many mailings. The story amounts to a set of instructions about how to keep them.
What would you want to hear from us in a bad year?
Why ask it
Bad news handling decides whether major donors stay through a deficit or a leadership departure. Asking in advance tells you who wants a phone call before it is public and who would rather not know the details.
Are there people you would introduce us to, and how would you want that handled?
Why ask it
The second half is what makes this askable. Most donors will open a door if they control the manner of it, and most refuse when the request implies handing over a list of friends.
Beyond money, is there anything you would want to give us: time, expertise, a room?
Why ask it
Some donors are waiting to be asked for the thing they are best at, and being asked only for money is why they feel like a wallet. Be ready for a genuine offer, because accepting badly is worse than not asking.
Where do you want this problem to be in ten years?
Why ask it
Long-horizon answers tell you whether the donor is aligned with your strategy or with a version of it they have invented. A mismatch here is worth finding now, while it is still a conversation rather than a restricted gift.
Have you ever thought about including a cause in your will?
Why ask it
Asked as a general question rather than a request, most people answer honestly, and a surprising number have already done it without telling anyone. Do not push it further in the same conversation.
What could we do that would make you walk away?
Why ask it
Ends the visit on the donor's terms and produces the most candid answer of the hour. Expect specifics: a merger, a spend on the wrong thing, a leader they would not follow, or simply not hearing from anyone for a year.
Running a Donor Conversation
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
The Visit Itself
Say at the start what this meeting is for
Donors spend the first twenty minutes waiting for the ask, and they do not listen until they know when it is coming. Telling them plainly that today is about their view, and that you will ask another time, changes the entire quality of the conversation.
Bring four questions and nothing to hand over
Materials shift the meeting into a presentation and give you something to hide behind. If they ask for something specific, that is a reason to come back, which is worth more than a leaflet.
Let the silences run
The useful part of an answer usually arrives after the pause, once the polite version has been given. Count to three before you fill it, and resist agreeing with everything they say.
Write the notes the same day
Names, dates, restrictions, preferences, the reason for the first gift. A visit that is not written up is a visit the organization did not have, and it will be re-asked by your successor in eighteen months.
What to Get Into the Record
- The trigger for the first gift, in the donor's own words
- Who else is involved in the decision, and their name
- The month or season when giving is decided
- Contact preference: channel, frequency and who from
- Anything they asked you to stop sending
- Recognition preference, including where they do not want to be named
- Any part of the work they do not want to fund
- Anything they offered besides money, and whether anyone followed up
Where These Visits Go Wrong
Asking for money in a discovery visit
Having promised to listen and then asking anyway costs you the trust that made the visit valuable. If the donor raises it themselves, you can follow, but do not engineer that.
Explaining instead of asking
Fundraisers under pressure fill the time with impact stories the donor did not request. If you have spoken for more than a third of the meeting, you have gathered nothing you did not already know.
Recording only the pleasant parts
Complaints and doubts are the most actionable material a donor gives you, and they are the first thing left out of a contact report. Write down the criticism, especially if it concerns a colleague.
Not closing the loop
Asking what they would want to see and then not sending it does more damage than never asking. Note every commitment you make and diary the follow-up before you leave the car park.