Questions to Ask During Rush
Questions for members talking with potential new members during fraternity or sorority rush, when you have a few minutes per person and a long night ahead. Written to sound like conversation rather than an interview.
The questions
Open any question for the note
Where are you from, and how are you finding it here so far?
Why ask it
A two-part opener gives them an easy fact and then something to react to. The second half is the useful half: someone three weeks in who says they are still figuring it out is being honest, and that is worth more than a confident nothing.
What made you come out for rush?
Why ask it
Answers split into being brought by a friend, following a family member, or deciding on their own. Each one changes how much they know about what they are signing up for and how much of tonight is really their choice.
What have you liked most about your first few weeks?
Why ask it
Small specifics, a class, a dining hall, one person, mean they are actually settling in. A generic "everything" usually means they are homesick or overwhelmed and hoping the conversation moves on.
What are you studying, or are you still deciding?
Why ask it
Giving them permission to be undecided prevents a defensive answer, which is what happens when this is asked as a single question. What they say next about why is more revealing than the major itself.
What did you do in high school that you want to keep doing?
Why ask it
Better than asking about hobbies, because it points at what they will make time for. Someone who names a sport, an instrument, or a job tells you where their hours will go during pledging.
What do you do with a completely free Saturday?
Why ask it
This gets an honest picture of their pace without asking how much they go out. Answers about long stretches of quiet time are as useful as answers about being with people, and neither is a wrong answer.
Who do you know on campus so far?
Why ask it
Tells you whether they arrived with a group or alone. Someone with no connections yet may be looking for a house to solve loneliness, which is worth being straight with them about.
What are you hoping to get out of joining a house?
Why ask it
Listen for whether their answer describes something your chapter actually provides. If they want professional networking and your chapter is built around service, saying so now saves both of you a wasted semester.
What kind of people do you get along with best?
Why ask it
The description usually matches them more than it matches anyone else. Pay attention if they describe a very small, very quiet group and you are recruiting for a house that lives loudly.
What is something you are good at that does not usually come up?
Why ask it
Gets past the résumé version of a person. It also tests whether they can talk about themselves without either deflecting or performing, which is most of what living in a house requires.
Who is the person you call first when something happens, and why them?
Why ask it
The reason matters more than the name. Whether they pick someone who calms them, tells them the truth, or just picks up shows what they are going to want from the people around them here.
How much time do you actually have, between classes and everything else?
Why ask it
Asking directly heads off the biggest cause of early dropouts. A pre-med schedule, a job, or a varsity sport is not a problem, but it needs to be said out loud before anyone talks about a bid.
Has anything about rush surprised you, or put you off?
Why ask it
This invites criticism, and the answer tells you how the week is being experienced from the outside. It also gives you a chance to correct a wrong impression before they carry it to voting week.
What are you nervous about this year?
Why ask it
Naming a worry out loud to a stranger is a real moment, so match it rather than reassuring them out of it. Common honest answers are money, grades and not finding anyone, and each one deserves a straight response.
Which houses have you visited, and what stood out at each?
Why ask it
Ask this warmly or it sounds like intelligence gathering. What they noticed tells you what they are optimising for, and it is often something nobody in your chapter thinks about.
What would make you turn a house down?
Why ask it
Dealbreakers are more informative than preferences, and most people have thought about theirs. If they cannot name one, they may be saying yes to whoever asks first.
What causes or groups do you care about enough to actually give time to?
Why ask it
The words "give time to" separate real commitment from a list of things they approve of. Someone who has genuinely turned up for something will name a specific event rather than a category.
What do you want to be doing by senior year?
Why ask it
Not about career plans so much as whether they think in terms of years or weeks. Answers about study abroad, a lab, or a leadership role tell you what a house would have to accommodate.
What do you want to know about us that nobody has told you straight?
Why ask it
Handing over the microphone is more persuasive than anything you can say about the chapter. Expect questions about cost, time and hazing, and answer all three plainly, including the numbers.
Is there a question you wish someone had asked you tonight?
Why ask it
A good closing question, because most people leave rush having said the same twenty sentences all evening. What they volunteer here is usually the thing they most want to be known for.
Running rush conversations well
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Working within the format
Three questions per conversation, not fifteen
Most rounds give you four to eight minutes. Pick one opener, one about their time and commitments, and one that hands the conversation back to them, then let the rest go.
Follow up once before moving on
One "what was that like" after their answer is the difference between a conversation and a form. Two questions explored properly beat six skimmed.
Write notes immediately after, not during
Typing while someone talks reads as scoring them. Step aside between rounds and write one specific line per person, because by the end of the night forty conversations blur into one.
Give the same information to everyone
Dues, the time commitment, and what pledging actually involves should be said out loud in every conversation. Selective candour is how chapters end up with members who feel misled in week three.
What goes wrong
Talking more than they do
The most common failure is a member describing the chapter for six minutes. They cannot decide whether they fit if they never got to speak, and you learn nothing to bring to voting.
Implying a bid you cannot promise
"You are definitely getting one" from a single member is not a chapter decision, and being wrong about it does lasting damage to your reputation with a whole class.
Letting cost come up last
Dues, house fees and event costs are the most common reason a promising member withdraws. Name real figures early rather than at the end of a week of enthusiasm.
Asking questions you would not answer
Anything about family money, dating, drinking or bodies is out. If you would be uncomfortable being asked it by a stranger in a crowded room, drop it.
Reading someone in five minutes
- Notice whether they ask you anything back; curiosity in both directions predicts how they will be in a house
- Watch how they talk about people who are not in the room, especially anyone they are competing with
- Someone quiet in a loud hallway may be very different one to one, so try to catch them again in a smaller round
- A rehearsed answer is not a bad sign; it usually means they care about the outcome and prepared
- If a conversation is going badly, ask what they are looking for and listen; it is a kinder end than filling the silence