Questions to Ask Future Roommates College
Questions for deciding whether to sign a lease with someone at college: how they pay rent, what happens if one of you leaves, how bills and cleaning get divided, and what they will and will not live with.
The questions
Open any question for the note
How did your last living situation end?
Why ask it
The most informative question you can open with, because people narrate it without editing. Listen for whether anything is their responsibility. A story in which four consecutive roommates were unreasonable is a story about the narrator.
Who else are you thinking of living with, and have any of you lived together already?
Why ask it
Groups of three and four often form around one person who knows everybody. Finding out that two of them are a couple, or that two already fell out last year, changes what you are joining. It is far easier to ask now than to discover the alliances in February.
What is the most you can pay in rent, not what you would like to pay?
Why ask it
Two people describing the same apartment as affordable can be several hundred a month apart. Getting a ceiling rather than a preference stops you both viewing places one of you was never going to sign for.
Where does your rent money come from, and does it arrive monthly?
Why ask it
Loan disbursements land in lumps, parental transfers can stop after an argument, and shift work varies. None of these is disqualifying, but they change who needs a buffer. The relevant risk is timing as much as amount.
Have you ever paid rent or a bill late?
Why ask it
Asked directly and without accusation, most people answer truthfully, and someone who admits to one late month with an explanation is a better bet than someone offended by the question. On a joint lease their lateness becomes your problem, which is why it is fair to ask.
Are you willing to be on the lease, and do you understand we would each be liable for the whole rent?
Why ask it
Most student leases are joint and several, meaning the landlord can pursue any one tenant for the full amount. Someone who wants to live there without signing, or who reacts badly to the liability, is telling you what happens when things get difficult.
If one of us needs to leave mid-year, whose job is it to find a replacement?
Why ask it
Study abroad, transfers, and family emergencies all happen. Agreeing now that the leaver finds and vets the substitute, and covers rent until they do, prevents the remaining tenants absorbing a full share. A vague answer here becomes a real bill later.
How do you want to handle the deposit, and who holds the record of it?
Why ask it
Deposits are usually returned as a single payment to one person, months after everyone has scattered. Deciding who receives it and how it is split, in writing, is a five-minute conversation that prevents a genuinely bitter one.
How should we split bills that change month to month?
Why ask it
Heating in January is not the same as heating in April, and one person working from home all day uses more of everything. Equal split, usage split, and a fixed monthly figure with a reckoning at the end are all workable. Not deciding is not.
Groceries: shared, or separate shelves?
Why ask it
Sharing food only works when both people cook and shop at a similar rate, and it fails quietly rather than loudly. Someone who wants to share but never shops is the most common version of this problem.
What do your weekdays look like, hour by hour?
Why ask it
Class times, shifts, gym, and sleep. The concrete version reveals overlaps a general description hides, such as one person leaving at six every morning while the other gets in at two. It also shows you when the apartment is empty, which matters if you both need quiet to work.
How often do you have people over, and how late do they usually stay?
Why ask it
Ask for a number, because everyone describes themselves as fairly quiet. Twice a week until midnight and once a month until three are very different arrangements, and both people usually think theirs is the normal one.
If you are seeing someone, would they end up more or less living here?
Why ask it
An extra resident who pays nothing is one of the most common causes of roommate breakdown, and it develops gradually enough that nobody objects at the start. Naming it now makes it possible to raise later without it becoming an accusation.
What does clean mean to you, specifically, for the kitchen and the bathroom?
Why ask it
Push for detail: dishes done same day or by the weekend, bathroom weekly or when it looks bad. Everybody self-reports as clean, so the useful comparison is between thresholds, not adjectives.
Do you smoke or vape indoors, and would you want to?
Why ask it
Ask about the house rather than the person. Many leases prohibit it and attach the penalty to all tenants, so this is a financial question as well as a comfort one.
Is there any chance you would want a pet this year?
Why ask it
A pet arriving after the lease is signed can breach it, cost the deposit, and land in your lap when the owner goes home for the summer. Someone who says probably not is worth pressing gently for a yes or no.
When something a roommate does starts bothering you, what do you actually do?
Why ask it
The answer predicts the shape of the whole year. People who say they let it go usually mean they accumulate it and then explode or go silent. People who describe raising it awkwardly but early are the ones worth living with.
What did a previous roommate do that you would not put up with again?
Why ask it
This gets you their real deal-breakers, which are always more specific than the ones people list in the abstract. It also tells you what they notice, and therefore what they will notice about you.
If two of us disagree and neither will move, how should we settle it?
Why ask it
Agreeing a method while everyone is friendly is much easier than inventing one during an argument. Majority vote, taking turns, or writing it into the agreement all work. Assuming it will not come up is the option that fails.
Can you see any situation where you would need to move out early?
Why ask it
A pending transfer application, a health issue, a family situation, a relationship in another city. People will usually tell you if asked plainly, and knowing the risk lets you plan for it rather than absorb it.
Choosing people to sign a lease with
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Screening before you commit
Talk to their last roommate
One conversation with the person who actually lived with them is worth more than the whole question list. Ask specifically what was hardest, not whether they would recommend them.
Meet somewhere other than a party
Coffee, or better, viewing an apartment together. How someone behaves when a decision has to be made, money is mentioned, and a form needs filling in is the relevant sample.
Discuss money before you discuss neighbourhoods
Rent ceiling, how bills get split, who holds the deposit, what happens if someone leaves. If these conversations are difficult now, they will not improve after you have signed.
It is allowed to say no
Declining to live with a friend is much less damaging to the friendship than living with them badly for a year. Be direct and early rather than drifting into it.
What to write down before signing
A one-page agreement between you
- 1Who pays what share of rent, and by which date each month.
- 2How variable bills are calculated, and who is named on each account.
- 3Who contributed what to the deposit, and how it will be divided when returned.
- 4What happens if someone leaves early, including who finds a replacement.
- 5Quiet hours, guest expectations, and any overnight arrangement.
- 6How cleaning is divided, and what counts as done.
- 7How a deadlock gets resolved when nobody will budge.
Common mistakes
Assuming a good friend is a good roommate
These are close to unrelated. Friendship is built on the time you choose to spend together; living together is built on the hours you cannot avoid each other.
Signing without reading the liability clause
Joint and several liability means one person's unpaid share is legally everybody's. Know that before you decide who is on the lease with you, not afterwards.
Letting one person handle all the money
Whoever collects and pays becomes the person chasing everyone, and the arrangement becomes about them. Standing orders straight to the landlord, or a shared account, spreads it.
Ignoring what the tour told you
If someone is late to the viewing, cannot say what they can afford, and asks no questions about the lease, that is the preview. It rarely turns out to have been nerves.