Questions to Ask Kids About Dad
Questions to ask kids about Dad for a Father's Day card, a keepsake interview or a talk in the car, with the answers taken down the way the child gives them. The list opens with questions to ask toddlers about Dad (his name, his age, what his face feels like), moves through what he is like, the things he says and sings and what the two of them do together, then closes with a quieter group for older children and the questions to ask a child for Father's Day itself. The guide covers choosing ten for a card, turning them into a sheet to print, and what to change when a father is absent, distant or has died.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Little ones
What is your dad's name?
Why ask it
To a two-year-old his name is Daddy, and the question sounds silly. Older children give the first name and sometimes add what Grandma calls him, which deserves its own line on the page.
How old is your dad?
Why ask it
The number comes with total confidence and is almost never right, anywhere from six to a hundred. Write it on the Father's Day page as said, and ask again next year to see how much he has aged.
How tall is your dad?
Why ask it
Small children answer with an arm stretched overhead, 'as big as the door' or a figure in pounds. When there is no word to write, describe the gesture in brackets.
What is your dad's favorite thing to eat?
Why ask it
Toddlers name what they like themselves, so his favorite may turn out to be chicken nuggets. By five or six a child has noticed the real answer, down to the mug his coffee goes in.
What does your dad call you?
Why ask it
A nickname is something the child knows for certain, so this one gets an answer even from a shy four-year-old. Ask where the name came from: there is usually a story, and the child may never have been asked to tell it.
What is your dad's favorite color?
Why ask it
Expect the child's own favorite, or the color of whatever he drives. Either way the answer settles which marker writes Dad on the front of the card.
What color is your dad's hair?
Why ask it
A toddler can answer this by looking at him or at a photo, so it rescues an interview that opened with shrugs. Be ready for 'he doesn't have any', said as plain fact.
What does your dad's face feel like?
Why ask it
Scratchy is the usual verdict, and a toddler may rub their own cheek to show you. Few questions here get a describing word out of a child under three, and this one does.
Where does your dad go in the morning?
Why ask it
Work is a place to a small child, with only a faint idea of what goes on inside it. Ask what is there and you may get an inventory: a chair, a computer, a truck, snacks. If he is the parent at home, ask where the two of them go instead.
What does your dad wear?
Why ask it
Clothes are solid ground for a two-year-old: the hat, the boots, the shirt with his name on it. The answer doubles as instructions for the drawing of him.
About him
What does your dad do all day at work?
Why ask it
From about four the job gets a description: he types, he fixes trucks, he goes to meetings and eats lunch. Take down the invented version and show it to him, because it is often built from whatever he has said about work at the dinner table.
What is your dad really good at?
Why ask it
The answer is usually small and practical: reversing the car, finding lost things, a particular voice he does. Careers and achievements rarely come up, which is a useful correction to how adults measure themselves.
What is your dad terrible at?
Why ask it
Ask it straight after the one about what he is good at, and watch the child sit up. Being allowed to be funny about a parent loosens them, and the answers that follow tend to be more honest for it.
How strong is your dad?
Why ask it
Strength is measured in what he can lift: the couch, the car, the child and a sibling at once. Asking what he could not lift shows you the heaviest thing a small child can imagine.
What does your dad know the most about?
Why ask it
Football, engines, dinosaurs, which road goes where. The subject named is whichever of his enthusiasms he talks about in front of the child, which is not always the one he would pick.
What does your dad like to do for fun?
Why ask it
Notice whether the child is in the answer or not. 'Sleeps on the couch' and 'looks at his phone' are common, said fondly, and funnier on a card than he may like.
What makes your dad happy?
Why ask it
The good-behavior answers come first: when I clean my room, when I go to bed on time. Ask what else and you hear what the child has really noticed, a quiet house, his team winning, the first coffee of the morning.
What makes your dad laugh?
Why ask it
The child often names themselves, and means it as an achievement. Ask for a demonstration of the face or the joke that does it, and describe it beside the answer.
What makes your dad grumpy?
Why ask it
Leave this in, even on a page meant as a present. The list is short and exact, shoes on the stairs, lights left on, being woken up, and most fathers recognize it at once.
What is your dad scared of?
Why ask it
Many children say nothing at all scares him and will not be moved. Others give up spiders or heights with obvious delight, and a few name something true, which you can simply write down.
What does your dad do after you go to bed?
Why ask it
Nobody has ever told them, so they guess: he eats the good snacks, watches grown-up shows, goes to sleep too. The guess is a picture of what the child believes happens once the bedroom door shuts.
If your dad were an animal, which one would he be?
Why ask it
The reason is the answer, so ask why: a bear because he is big and sleepy, a dog because he always wants to go outside. From about four, children tend to enjoy this more than the questions that have a right answer.
What do you think your dad was like when he was your age?
Why ask it
Children construct this from whatever stories they have been told, so the answer reveals which parts of his childhood have actually reached them. It is also a good invitation for him to tell one properly.
Funny ones
What does your dad always say?
Why ask it
Most children can quote a line he repeats, and they do it with his delivery: 'close the door, we're not heating the street', 'two more minutes'. Put it in quotation marks, and note the voice they used.
What does your dad say when you ask him for something?
Why ask it
'We'll see' and 'ask your mother' are the standards, delivered by the child in his exact tone. Follow up with what 'we'll see' really means; they know.
What does your dad say when he is driving?
Why ask it
The back seat hears everything and repeats it faithfully. Decide before you ask whether every answer goes onto the card as spoken.
What is your dad's best joke?
Why ask it
Have the child tell it. It tends to arrive with the punchline first or missing altogether, and that mangled telling is the version to keep.
What songs does your dad sing?
Why ask it
Some fathers have one song, sung often and with the wrong words, and the child has learned it that way. Ask for a line of it in his voice.
What sound does your dad make when he is asleep?
Why ask it
An open invitation to do an impression, and few children turn it down. Record it if you can, since no spelling of a snore does the performance justice.
What is the funniest thing your dad has ever done?
Why ask it
Almost always an accident rather than a joke: something dropped, mispronounced, or attempted badly. Ask for what happened next, since children tend to give you the punchline and skip the story.
What does your dad do that embarrasses you?
Why ask it
One for children of about eight and up, who have recently found out that parents can be embarrassing. Dancing, singing in shops and talking to their friends are the usual charges, and none of them is a real complaint.
What story does your dad tell over and over?
Why ask it
Have the child tell it back to you. Which parts they keep and which they drop shows what they took from it, and that is not always the moral he was aiming at.
Together
What do you and your dad do that is just yours?
Why ask it
Points at the small shared ritual rather than the big outing: a walk, a game, a particular shop. If the child cannot name one, that is worth knowing quietly and without comment.
What games do you and your dad play?
Why ask it
Ask who wins, and whether he lets them. Wrestling on the rug and one particular video game come up often, but a game the two of them made up will have a name and rules that belong on the page.
Where do you and your dad go together?
Why ask it
Errands count: the dump, the hardware store, the barber. A Saturday errand with Dad often ranks above the outing that was planned for the child's benefit.
What do you and your dad listen to in the car?
Why ask it
Music, a ball game on the radio or nothing at all, and the child will have a view on each. Ask who gets to pick: the drive is time together that neither of them would count as such.
What food does your dad make?
Why ask it
Usually one dish, made the same way every time, and the child has strong opinions about it. This one produces easy laughter and works with a child who has gone quiet.
What do you help your dad with?
Why ask it
Holding the flashlight, passing the screws, carrying the smallest bag. Ask what would go wrong if they were not there, and you will hear how seriously the job is taken.
What has your dad taught you how to do?
Why ask it
Ask for a skill rather than a lesson and you get something concrete: tying laces, riding a bike, whistling. Fathers rarely know which of these the child counts as theirs.
What does your dad let you do that nobody else does?
Why ask it
Promise first that nobody is in trouble. The answer is a small allowance, dessert before dinner or one more chapter, and it is often high on the child's list of reasons he is a good dad.
What happens when your dad puts you to bed?
Why ask it
Bedtime with Dad tends to have its own rules: a different voice for the story, a longer chapter, a tickle that winds everyone up. Ask for the steps in order and write them as a list.
What is the best day you ever had with your dad?
Why ask it
Under six, the answer is usually last weekend; older children reach back to a trip or a snow day. One detail, what they ate or what went wrong, turns the title of the day into a story.
Quiet ones
How do you know when your dad is proud of you?
Why ask it
Some children point to words and some to actions: he tells other people the story, he keeps the drawing in his truck. Pass the answer on, because a father often has no idea which sign got through.
What does your dad do when you are upset?
Why ask it
The answer distinguishes between fixing, distracting, and sitting with them, and children are specific about which. What they describe wanting is often not what they describe getting.
How can you tell when your dad has had a bad day?
Why ask it
Many children can name the exact signs: a tone of voice, going straight upstairs, the television going on. Listen for whether the answer sounds observed or feared, because those are different situations.
What do you think your dad worries about?
Why ask it
An older child may name money, work or a sick relative, pieced together from talk they were not meant to hear. Take the answer as given, and do not rush to tell them it is not so.
What do you miss about your dad when he is away?
Why ask it
Written for the father who travels, works nights, is deployed or lives at another address. What gets missed is usually small and physical, his voice at bedtime or being carried, and it tells him what to do first when they are together again.
What do you wish you and your dad did more often?
Why ask it
Asking for more of something is easier for a child than voicing a complaint. The wish is usually small enough to grant, another game of catch or breakfast with only the two of them, so pass it on.
Is there something you wish you could tell your dad?
Why ask it
Children tend to assume a parent already knows everything about them, so what comes out may be ordinary: a worry at school, something they were proud of. 'No' is a complete answer. If something heavier arrives, listen, and leave the conversation that follows for another day.
How do you want to be like your dad when you grow up?
Why ask it
Asking how, and not whether, gets past the automatic yes. The child has to pick one thing, his patience, his jokes, the way he mends a bike, and that pick is the line to pass on to him.
Father's Day
What do you want to do with your dad on Father's Day?
Why ask it
This turns the interview into a plan for the day. The request is usually one he can grant by lunchtime: pancakes, the park, a bike ride with nobody else along.
If you could give your dad anything in the world, what would it be?
Why ask it
Money is no object at five, so expect a rocket, a horse or a million dollars. A drawing of the present makes a good front for the card, and he gets it after all.
Why do you love your dad?
Why ask it
The first answer is often 'because' or a mention of something he bought last week. Write down the first real reason in the child's words and resist fishing for a prettier one.
How do you know your dad loves you?
Why ask it
This asks for proof, and children supply it in actions: he comes to get me, he fixes my bike, he saves me the last bite. Fathers tend to read this line twice.
What do you want to say thank you to your dad for?
Why ask it
A small child's thanks are for particular things: mending the scooter, the pancakes, coming to get me when I was sick. One of those, copied inside the card, does more than a printed verse.
What is the best thing about your dad?
Why ask it
Asked cold it gets 'I don't know', so save it for the end. After ten minutes of talking about him the answer comes fast, and it is often something small the child already mentioned.
What should I write to your dad at the bottom of the card?
Why ask it
Handing over the sign-off gets the child's own last line, which may be 'I love you', 'the end' or a reminder about the bike he promised to fix. Copy it as dictated and let them add a name or a scribble underneath.
Asking a Child About Their Father
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
How to ask
- Ask alongside an activity rather than face to face. Children talk more freely in the car, on a walk, or while drawing than they do when the question is the only thing happening.
- Take the first answer and follow it. What happened next and what did you say get you further than moving on to the next question on a list.
- Record the wording rather than the gist. The charm and the accuracy both live in the exact phrasing, and both are gone within a day.
- Finish while they are still interested. Four questions answered properly is a better result than twenty answered with a shrug.
Making a Father's Day page
Choose ten before you start
Few children under seven will sit through a list this long. Mark three from Little ones, two from About him, two of the Funny ones, two from Together and one from the Father's Day group to end on. Have the picks written down before the child sits, so you are not scrolling while they wander off.
Ask when Dad cannot hear
Run the interview while he is out of the house or at least out of the room. A child looks to the subject for the right answer, and reading the page cold on Father's Day morning is most of the present. A mother, grandparent, teacher or older sibling can do the asking.
Put the age and the date at the top
Write the child's name, age and the date above the first answer, then take down every word as spoken, invented ones included. A phone recording helps with a fast talker. Ask the same ten each Father's Day and keep the pages together: the ages Dad is given over the years become a record of their own.
If you want a sheet to print
This page is a list to choose from, not a ready-made worksheet. To make a printable one, copy your picks into a document, leave two blank lines under each and add a box at the bottom for a drawing of Dad. A child who can write gets the sheet and a pencil; for a younger one, you fill in the lines and they do the drawing.
What each age can answer
Toddlers, two and three
Stay in the Little ones group and stop after five or six. Say Daddy, Dada, Papa or whatever this child says, because a toddler may not connect "your dad" with the person. One-word answers and pointing both count, and a photo of him in your hand gives a two-year-old something to answer about.
Four to seven
These are the easiest years for a Father's Day interview: long answers, firm opinions and no worry about being right. Add About him, Funny ones and Together, and expect the wrong ages and invented jobs that make the page worth keeping.
Eight and older
Children this age start giving the answer they think is wanted, so drop the questions about his age and height and offer to let them write their own answers. The Quiet ones group is meant for them, and it goes better on a walk or in the car than at a table with a card waiting.
When the answer is complicated
If their father is absent or contact is limited
Ask about specific moments rather than about the relationship as a whole, since a child with little contact can still answer what he calls you or what you did last time. Avoid questions that assume he is in the house.
If their father has died
Present tense questions can sting, so shift them: what did he always say, what did he make. Many grieving children want very much to talk about their father and find that adults change the subject first.
If the relationship is difficult
Do not press for positives. A child who cannot answer what their dad is good at is telling you something, and the right response is to move to a lighter question rather than to coach a better answer.
If there are two fathers, or a stepfather
Ask the child what they call each of them and use their words. Deciding which one the questions refer to on their behalf is the fastest way to end the conversation.
If something worrying comes up
- Stay calm and do not start questioning. Detailed questions from a well-meaning adult can distress the child and complicate any proper inquiry that follows.
- Do not promise to keep it secret. Say instead that you are glad they told you and that you may need to talk to someone whose job it is to help.
- Write down what they said in their own words, with the date and the context, as soon as you can.
- If you work with children, follow your organization's safeguarding process. If you do not, contact your local child protection service or helpline for advice about what you have heard.
Common pitfalls
Fishing for compliments on his behalf
A page for Dad is collected to be read by him, and the child knows it. What spoils it is steering: asking again until the answer comes out sweeter. Take the first honest one, 'he snores' included.
Turning it into a comparison
Questions that set one parent against the other, or against another child's father, put the child in a position they cannot win. Keep each question about one person.
Correcting the facts
If they think their father is a spy or forty years old, leave it. The point is what they see, and the correction only teaches them that answers get marked.