Questions to Ask Kids About Mom
These 58 questions to ask kids about Mom get her described in the child's own words, for a Mother's Day card, a birthday video or an interview you repeat every year. They run in the order a sitting goes: easy facts a three-year-old can manage (her age, her height, what is in her bag), what she is like, the things she says, what the two of them do together, a slower group for older children and a handful of lines to finish the card. The guide covers choosing ten, what each age can answer, how to ask your kid about Mom when you are the mom, questions for the kids to ask her back, and what to change when a mother is absent or has died.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Easy ones
How old is your mom?
Why ask it
The traditional first question because the answer is almost never right, and small children commit to a number with total confidence. Ask it deadpan and do not correct the answer, since the wrong number is the whole point of keeping the page.
How tall is your mom?
Why ask it
Watch whether they answer in feet, in hands held apart, or by pointing at a doorframe. Younger children measure the world against themselves, so the answer often says more about their height than hers.
What is your mom's name?
Why ask it
Under four the answer is Mommy, said as if you had asked something silly. A child who has learned her first name tends to pronounce it carefully, like a word borrowed from the grown-ups.
What is your mom's favorite food?
Why ask it
A small child tends to say salad, or else their own favorite, on the theory that she must like it too. Follow with 'and what does she never eat?', which often gets the more accurate answer of the two.
What is your mom's job?
Why ask it
You get a job description built from fragments: she types, she goes to meetings, she talks to people on the computer. If she is at home with the children, 'she looks after me' is a complete answer and should be written down as one.
What does your mom look like?
Why ask it
Hair comes first, then glasses or one particular sweater, and the list doubles as instructions for the drawing that goes with the page. A very young child may simply point at her photo, which counts.
What is your mom's favorite color?
Why ask it
Half the time the child names their own favorite and gives it to her. If they do know hers, find out how: the coat she wears every day, the mug nobody else may use.
What does your mom like to drink?
Why ask it
Coffee is the usual report, sometimes with a warning about talking to her before she has had it. Write down the details a small child has somehow stored: the cup it has to be in, how many times it gets reheated.
What does your mom smell like?
Why ask it
It sounds odd to an adult and is easy for a child, who says soap, flowers, toast or her pillow without stopping to think. Even a two-year-old can manage a real describing word here.
What does your mom carry in her bag?
Why ask it
A child knows this inventory by heart: snacks, wipes, keys, the lip balm they are not allowed to open. Count how much of what she carries is for other people.
What does your mom call you?
Why ask it
The pet name comes out before the real one, with a groan if the child is over seven. Then find out when she uses the full name, and you will hear what trouble sounds like in that house.
What she is like
What is your mom best at?
Why ask it
Whatever she is paid for rarely makes the list. A child names the skills used on them: braiding hair, finding the lost shoe, the voice she does for the wolf in the bedtime book.
What is your mom not very good at?
Why ask it
Coming straight after her talents, this one shows the child that today has no wrong answers. Parking, video games and whistling are typical charges, and every one is delivered kindly.
What is your mom's superpower?
Why ask it
The word gives permission to exaggerate, so this is where she gets eyes in the back of her head or ears that work through walls. Take the power down as stated and draw her a cape on the page.
If your mom were an animal, what would she be?
Why ask it
The animal is only half of it, so add 'why that one?' straight away. A bear because she is warm, an owl because she is still up at midnight: the reason is the part to write down.
What makes your mom laugh?
Why ask it
Plenty of children answer 'me', and they are right. Get a demonstration of the face, the joke or the walk that does it, because a child who can make her laugh on purpose is proud of the trick.
What is the silliest thing you have seen your mom do?
Why ask it
A dance in the kitchen, a voice for the dog, the time she fell off the sled. Leave room on the floor, since this story tends to be acted out and not just told.
What makes your mom mad?
Why ask it
Do not skip it to keep the page sweet. The charges are usually small and exact, shoes left on the stairs, being asked four times, running late, and she is more likely to laugh at the list than to mind it.
What makes your mom happy?
Why ask it
The dutiful answers arrive first: when I listen, when my room is tidy. Wait, say 'what else?', and the child reaches for what they have watched her enjoy, a quiet morning, a long call with her sister, the garden.
What is your mom afraid of?
Why ask it
Spiders and mice are reported with relish, especially by a child who once saw the reaction. If the answer is that nothing scares her, that is a compliment and goes on the page as it stands.
What is your mom always looking for?
Why ask it
Keys, her phone and the glasses already on her head are the classics. For once the child is the person in the house who knows where things are, and they will say so.
What does your mom do to relax?
Why ask it
A blank look is an answer too: it may mean her rest happens after the child's bedtime, out of sight. When something is named it is often brief, a cup of tea, ten minutes on her phone, the bath with the door shut.
What does your mom do when you are not there?
Why ask it
Nobody has told them, so they make it up: she eats the good snacks, she sleeps, she waits by the door until school is over. Younger children often cannot picture her day carrying on without them, and the guess is funnier for it.
What was your mom like when she was little?
Why ask it
All the child has to go on is whichever family stories have reached them, plus perhaps one photograph. Show her the answer afterwards and let her set the record straight with a story of her own.
What does your mom do that no other mom does?
Why ask it
This needs a child who has eaten dinner at a friend's house and noticed the differences, so save it for school age. What comes back is a small house rule or habit: socks in bed, a song at the traffic lights, pancakes on Tuesdays.
What she says
What does your mom always say?
Why ask it
Have them say it the way she says it. A child who has heard 'because I said so' or 'two more minutes' a few hundred times can deliver it with her exact tone, and she finds out which of her lines stuck.
What does your mom say when she means no?
Why ask it
Most houses have a phrase that is not quite no: maybe later, we'll see, ask me after dinner. Write each one down with the child's translation next to it.
What does your mom sound like on the phone?
Why ask it
You will get the phone voice, brighter and more polite than the one used at home. 'Who does she talk to the longest?' makes a good second question, and the name that comes back shows which of her people the child knows best.
What does your mom tell you every single morning?
Why ask it
Shoes, teeth, hurry up: the morning script is the one a child hears most, and they are glad of a chance to perform it. Have them do it at speed, the way it sounds at ten to eight.
What does your mom sing in the car?
Why ask it
Request a verse. The child will have learned the song with her wrong words in it, and can usually report which songs get turned up and which get turned off.
What does your mom say when she thinks nobody is listening?
Why ask it
Muttering at the laundry, a pep talk in the mirror, a word they are not allowed to repeat. Decide beforehand whether the answer goes on a card that Grandma will read.
What story does your mom tell about you?
Why ask it
Usually one from when they were a baby, heard so often that they tell it as if they remember it. Their version lingers on the part they like best, which tends to be the part where they were difficult.
What does your mom say at bedtime?
Why ask it
The last thing said before the light goes off is often the same every night, to the point where she no longer hears herself say it. Copied out word for word, it suits the inside of the card.
You and her
What do you and your mom do together that you like best?
Why ask it
The big day out loses to something that happens every week: the walk to school, a game in the bath, the library on Saturday. Pass the answer on, because it tells her which ordinary thing to protect.
What do you and your mom talk about?
Why ask it
School, dinner and whose turn it is come up before anything deep, and that is fine. Notice whether the subjects are the child's (dinosaurs, a friend, a game) or hers, and which one they sound happiest about.
What do you help your mom with?
Why ask it
Setting the table, matching socks, pushing the cart: ordinary jobs give a child a place in the household, and they list them with pride. If the list sounds heavy for their age, raise it with an adult later and not with the child.
What does your mom cook that you like most?
Why ask it
Plain pasta, or toast cut a certain way, can beat the recipe that took her all afternoon. Get the instructions too, since the child knows exactly how it has to be made and which plate it goes on.
What has your mom taught you to do?
Why ask it
Steer toward something they can show you, such as cracking an egg, tying a bow or floating on their back. She has probably forgotten teaching half of it, and the child has not.
Where do you like to go with just your mom?
Why ask it
Time alone with her is scarce in a house with siblings, so even the supermarket counts if nobody else came along. The place named is a hint about where to take them the next time there is a free hour.
What does your mom do when you are sick?
Why ask it
The sick-day routine comes back in order: the bowl, the blanket on the couch, the one drink that is allowed. Give this answer time, because it is a child's plainest description of being looked after.
What does your mom do when you cannot sleep?
Why ask it
Some children describe a whole procedure: the back rub, the glass of water, the same three sentences. Listen as well for the child who says nobody knows they are awake, and pass that on gently.
What is the nicest thing your mom has done for you?
Why ask it
Presents seldom win this. What gets named is a rescue or a favor, such as driving back for the forgotten costume or sitting up through a bad dream, and often it is something she has forgotten doing.
What would you like to do with your mom that you have never done?
Why ask it
This asks for a wish without turning it into a complaint. The request tends to be modest, baking a cake, camping in the yard, a turn at choosing the film, and simple enough to arrange that week.
Bigger ones
How do you know when your mom is proud of you?
Why ask it
Look for whether they can name a signal: a phrase, a look, a drawing put up on the fridge. If nothing comes to mind, tell her so, because she may be showing it in a way the child does not read as pride.
What do you think your mom would say is the best thing about you?
Why ask it
Asking them to speak in her voice gets past modesty and produces the version of themselves they believe she sees. Any distance between that and what they think of themselves is worth noticing.
How can you tell when your mom is tired?
Why ask it
The signs come out as a list: she goes quiet, she sits on the stairs, she says 'give me a minute'. It can surprise a mother who believed she was hiding them, so hand this answer over kindly.
What does your mom worry about?
Why ask it
Not for the card, and not for a child under seven or so. If money, work or a sick relative is named, do not explain or deny it on the spot; tell her privately what the child has picked up so she can decide what to say.
What would your mom do with a whole day to herself?
Why ask it
To answer, the child has to remember a time she chose something purely for herself. If the guess is 'clean the house', write it down anyway and show her; it makes the case for a day off better than anyone else could.
What do you think is the hardest part of being your mom?
Why ask it
Best from about eight, when a child has begun to see that looking after them is work. Younger ones say 'carrying me' or 'the dishes'; an older one may name something she assumed had gone unnoticed.
What do you miss about your mom when you are apart?
Why ask it
This one is for the mother who travels, works nights, or shares the week with another household. What is missed is small and exact, the way she does breakfast or her voice at lights-out, and it tells her what to do first when they are back together.
What do you want to know about your mom that you have never asked?
Why ask it
For one question the child becomes the interviewer, and you find out what they are curious about: her school days, her first job, who she was before they arrived. Hand it on to her so she can answer in person.
What is one way you hope you turn out like your mom?
Why ask it
'One way' keeps it from turning into yes or no. A ten-year-old might pick her being brave on the phone, or that she is never late, and a teenager who shrugs at the rest of the list will often still answer this.
For the card
What do you love most about your mom?
Why ask it
Hold this back until the child has spent ten minutes talking about her and has plenty to draw on. The first reply may be 'everything', so wait for one thing and write that down.
How do you know your mom loves you?
Why ask it
What comes back is evidence: she packs my lunch, she comes when I call at night, she kisses the top of my head. Copy the list out in full, because it is what love looks like from three feet off the ground.
What present would you buy your mom if you had all the money in the world?
Why ask it
Budgets mean nothing at five, so expect a castle, a pony or a thousand flowers. Let the child draw it on the front of the card and the drawing becomes the present.
What would you like to thank your mom for?
Why ask it
A child's thanks are particular: finding the lost rabbit, the birthday cake shaped like a digger, staying to watch the swimming lesson. One of those in their own words is the strongest sentence a Mother's Day card can carry.
If your mom were here right now, what would you tell her?
Why ask it
It only works while she is out of the room, which is how a surprise card gets made anyway. Ask once and wait: 'I love you' may come first, and the second thing, after a pause, is usually the one in the child's own words.
If you were making a book about your mom, what would go on the first page?
Why ask it
The child has to decide what matters most about her, and a picture is allowed to be the answer. If you are keeping a yearly page, this makes the cover: staple the drawing to the front.
Asking a Child About Their Mom
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
How to run it
- Write the answers down exactly as they come out, including the pauses and the wrong facts. Tidying the wording removes the only thing that makes the page worth keeping.
- Put the date and the child's age at the top. In five years that is the detail you will care about most.
- Ask each child separately. A younger sibling who hears the first interview repeats it, and you end up with one page written twice.
- If they say she is ninety and eleven feet tall, write it down. Fixing the facts turns an interview into a test and the child will start hedging.
- Stay quiet after the question. Prompting with 'because she is so kind' produces a sentence in your voice, and a child left with a silence will fill it.
- Leave the unflattering answers in. What makes her mad is usually the line the family quotes for years, and a page without it reads like a shop-bought greeting card.
- Record it on your phone if the child is happy to be recorded. Their voice at four is not recoverable later.
Making a Mother's Day card or a yearly page
Pick ten before the child sits down
A four-year-old asked about Mom lasts roughly ten questions, not 58. Mark three Easy ones, two from What she is like, two from What she says, two from You and her and one from For the card to finish on. Write the picks on paper first, because a child who watches you scroll will be gone before the second question.
Ask while Mom is out of the room
Children check the subject's face for the right answer. If the page is a present, a dad, grandparent, teacher or older sibling should do the asking while she is somewhere else, so that she reads it cold on Mother's Day morning.
If you are the mom doing the asking
Plenty of mothers run this themselves, and it works when it is played as a game with no marks. Say 'your mom' in an interviewer's voice, keep a straight face when you turn out to be eighty, and leave the Bigger ones for another adult to ask, since a child softens those answers to your face.
Ask the same ones every year
Choose a fixed day, Mother's Day or the child's birthday, and repeat the same ten questions. Keep the pages in one envelope: her age as reported at three, five and eight, read in a row, is the part families go back to.
Let the kids ask Mom back
Once the page is done, hand the pen over. Good questions for kids to ask Mom are the same ones pointed the other way: how old were you when I was born, what was I like as a baby, what did you want to be when you were my age, what is the hardest part of being my mom. She answers out loud and the child writes or draws what they heard.
Ask Mom the same questions about her kid
For a two-sided keepsake, pick five and put them to her about the child: favorite food, what they are best at, what they always say, what makes them mad, what she loves most about them. Read the two pages side by side afterwards. The lines where mother and child describe each other differently are the ones to read out at dinner.
With a whole class
A teacher making Mother's Day cards can put five of the Easy ones on a sheet with a box for a portrait. Say at the start that the page can be about a grandmother, an aunt or whoever looks after them, so no child has to explain their family in front of the room.
What each age can answer
Two to four
Short, literal, and frequently wrong, which is exactly what you want. Stay in the Easy ones, say Mommy, Mama or whatever this child calls her, and stop after five or six.
Five to eight
The best years for this. They enjoy being interviewed, they answer at length, and they will happily invent whatever they do not know. Add What she is like, What she says and You and her, and be ready for impressions of her voice.
Nine and older
Around this age many children turn self-conscious and start giving the answer they think is wanted. Drop the questions about her age and height, move to the Bigger ones, and consider handing over the page so they can write the answers themselves.
If the child's situation is difficult
- If the child's mother has died, shift the questions to the past tense and ask them only if the child wants to talk. Some children are glad of the chance to say her name and tell a story about her; others are not ready, and a shrug is a reason to stop for the day.
- If contact is limited or the relationship is strained, let the child answer with as much or as little as they wish, and do not coach a kinder answer.
- In households with a stepmother, foster carer, or two mothers, ask the child what they call each person and use their words rather than deciding for them.
- If an answer suggests the child is frightened or unsafe, do not question them further. Note what they said in their own words and pass it to whoever is responsible for child welfare at the school or group. Outside one, ask the child protection service where you live how to report a concern, since the route differs by country and state.