Questions to Ask Musicians
Light questions for hanging out with musicians after a gig or in the van, about strange venues, gear they would run back for, requests they refuse, and everything the audience never notices.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What is the strangest place you have ever played?
Why ask it
Every gigging musician has this story loaded and ready. It is a better opener than asking about their music because it puts them in storyteller mode instead of promotion mode.
What was your first band called, and what happened to it?
Why ask it
The name is always funny and the ending is always a small drama. You learn who they started with, which is often who they are still arguing with.
What goes wrong at gigs that the audience never notices?
Why ask it
This is the good stuff: dead batteries, wrong keys, a bass player counting silently through a whole verse. It also shows how much of a performance is quiet crisis management.
What is actually on your rider?
Why ask it
Real riders are boring and specific, mostly towels, water, and somewhere to park. The gap between that and the myth of the rider is where the joke lives.
What is the heaviest thing you have carried up the worst stairs?
Why ask it
Nothing bonds a band like load-in trauma. The answer usually names the venue, and everyone else in earshot will have a story about the same staircase.
What is the smallest crowd you have played to, and did you still do the full set?
Why ask it
The number is entertaining, but the follow-up is the real question. Whether they played the whole set to four people tells you what kind of band this is.
What is the worst heckle you have had, and did you have a comeback?
Why ask it
Two-part on purpose: the heckle is funny, and the comeback, or the lack of one, is funnier. Most people admit the good reply arrived in the car afterwards.
What is the most requested song you refuse to play?
Why ask it
There is nearly always one, and the reason is either principled or petty. Both are entertaining, and the refusal says more about them than their setlist does.
What do you play when you can tell nobody is listening?
Why ask it
Bar and function players have a whole strategy for this, from going quieter to playing something ridiculous to see who looks up. It is a side of the job audiences never think about.
What song do you secretly love that would embarrass the band?
Why ask it
Best asked when there are a couple of them present, since the others will immediately contradict the answer. Guilty-pleasure confessions are more fun with witnesses.
What is the loudest band you have shared a bill with?
Why ask it
Volume stories come with detail: rattling glassware, a support slot nobody could hear afterwards. It is an easy question that reliably produces a specific night.
Have you ever played a wedding or a funeral, and how did it go?
Why ask it
Ceremony gigs produce the widest range of stories, from perfect to catastrophic, and often the same night contains both. Let them pick which one to tell.
What is the best free meal you have been given on the road?
Why ask it
Touring runs on hospitality, and musicians remember a good venue meal for years. Expect the answer to include the town, the dish, and possibly the name of the person who cooked it.
Who in the band is the reason you are always late?
Why ask it
Ask in company and enjoy the accusations. Under the joke, you learn how this band actually functions and who quietly holds it together.
What is the closest you have come to walking off stage?
Why ask it
Slightly sharper than the rest, so save it for later in the night. Whether the story ends with them staying or leaving is the interesting part.
Which bandmate would survive a van breakdown in the middle of nowhere?
Why ask it
A hypothetical that turns into a real assessment of who is useful in a crisis. The nominated person always has an opinion about the nomination.
What piece of gear would you run back into a burning van for?
Why ask it
Instruments carry history, and this question gets at it sideways. What comes back is usually a story about who gave it to them or where it was bought.
What is the best show you have been in the audience for?
Why ask it
Musicians spend a lot of time being watched and rarely get asked what watching does to them. The answer is often from before they played at all.
What is the song you cannot get out of playing at every single gig?
Why ask it
Every set has one that must be played, and feelings about it are complicated: gratitude mixed with fatigue. That mix is what makes the answer worth hearing.
What is the one gig you would do for free tomorrow?
Why ask it
A good closer, because it drops the jokes without getting heavy. A specific venue, festival, or room usually comes with a reason attached to who they were at seventeen.
Hanging Out With Musicians
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Timing matters more than the question
Not while they are loading out
The twenty minutes after a set are for coiling cables and getting paid. Offer to carry something and ask once the van doors are shut.
Groups beat one-to-one for these
Most of these questions get funnier with a second band member around to object. Save the more personal ones for when it thins out.
Buy the round before the questions
Musicians get talked at all night by strangers wanting something. Being the person who brought a drink and no agenda moves you out of that category.
Keeping it enjoyable
- Ask about a night, not a career, and the stories arrive on their own
- Follow up with which venue and which year, since detail is where the fun is
- Let the band contradict each other rather than refereeing
- Tell a bad gig story of your own, even if yours was a school concert
- Take the hint if they steer back to small talk, and drop the subject
What kills the mood
Asking what they do for a real job
It reads as a verdict on the music, whether or not you mean it that way. If you are curious how they make it work, ask what the last few months have looked like.
Requesting a song mid-conversation
They have just finished working. Asking them to perform again turns a chat back into a shift.
Comparing them to a bigger band
Even meant as a compliment, it lands as a ranking. Name something specific you liked about the set instead.