Questions to Ask in a Nanny Interview With the Parents
Nanny questions to ask parents at the interview, written for the nanny's side of the table, whether that is a first phone call or the visit to the house. They start with why the job is open, what the children are like and what a day involves, then move through the household, hours, pay and payroll to the contract, the trial and how you and the parents would work together day to day.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
The Job
What made this position open up?
Why ask it
The reason a job is available tells you more than almost anything else you will hear in the room. A nanny who moved cities is a very different signal from two nannies who left inside a year, and parents tend to answer straight when it is asked plainly and early.
What are the children like, and what does each of them need from a nanny right now?
Why ask it
Parents who describe each child separately, quirks included, have usually thought about who they are hiring for. If every child is 'easy' and 'so good', ask what a bad afternoon looks like, because every child has them.
What does a typical day in this job look like, hour by hour?
Why ask it
Hour by hour is the part that matters. A summary hides the early start, the double pickup and the stretch between nap and dinner when everything happens at once, so write the timetable down as they talk and read it back to them.
What hours do you need, and how firm are they at each end of the day?
Why ask it
Advertised hours and real hours can differ, most often at the end of the day. Name whatever you have to leave for, a class, a train, your own child's pickup, and see whether the finish time survives it. A parent who says 'we are usually back by then' has told you the finish time is an estimate.
Besides looking after the children, what else is part of the job?
Why ask it
Children's laundry and tidying up after meals are common. Family laundry, errands and cooking for the adults make it a different job, often called a nanny housekeeper, and one you can fairly price differently. Ask for the list in writing so it can go into the contract as it stands.
When the children nap or are at school, is that time mine, or are there jobs you want done?
Why ask it
Nannies can rarely leave the house for a break, so the quiet hour is the nearest thing to one. Some families count it as time for bottles, laundry and tidying, which is workable if you hear it before you accept and not in week two.
Have you had a nanny before, and how long did the last one stay?
Why ask it
Ask where that nanny went next as well, because a family still on good terms with a former nanny says so without being pushed. A run of short stays is not automatically the family's fault, but it does mean asking what changed each time and listening for the same complaint twice. If you would be their first, expect to be the one who brings up paid leave and a contract.
How many children would I have at once, and is that number changing?
Why ask it
Numbers move. A second baby, a nephew who arrives after school, a child going from full days to half days: all of it is more work at the same pay unless it is priced now.
How long do you expect to need a nanny, and what happens when the youngest starts school?
Why ask it
A family with a toddler may be offering three years or nine months, and they often know which. If the hours will drop once school starts, ask whether the job ends, shrinks to afternoons or turns into something else.
The Children
How do you handle discipline, and which parts of your approach am I expected to follow exactly?
Why ask it
Get the words as well as the method: what they actually say when a child bites, whether there is a count to three, where a child goes to calm down. Children notice the moment a new adult does it differently. If you could not do it their way with a straight face, say so now, because it will not get easier in week three.
Is there a parenting approach you follow, or something you would want me to read first?
Why ask it
Montessori at home, baby-led weaning, a particular sleep method: families who follow something specific usually want it followed the same way in the daytime. Asking for the reading shows you would take it seriously, and their answer shows whether it is a firm method or a loose preference. If it is one you have doubts about, say which parts you can do.
What do the children eat in a day, and am I the one cooking it?
Why ask it
This settles two things at once: the food rules and how much of your day is spent in the kitchen. A family who wants every meal made from scratch for a picky eater is asking for kitchen time that a job listing rarely mentions.
What are the screen rules, and are they the same for me as they are for you?
Why ask it
Many parents hold the nanny to a stricter rule than they keep themselves, which is their right, but you need to know it. A child who gets a tablet from a parent at six will ask you for one at four, and you want that answer agreed in advance.
What is the nap and sleep routine, and how closely do you want it kept?
Why ask it
Parents who paid in bad nights to get a baby sleeping will not thank you for improvising. Ask for the exact steps, how long to leave a crying child, and whether a nap in the stroller or the car counts.
Do any of the children have allergies, medical conditions or medication I would be responsible for?
Why ask it
A severe allergy or a seizure condition changes what the job asks of you, and it is fair to want training before you are alone with it. Ask who would teach you to use the auto-injector or the inhaler, and whether a written care plan already exists.
If a child is hurt or taken ill while I am in charge, who do I call first and what can I decide on my own?
Why ask it
Parents in meetings miss calls, so there has to be a second name and a rule for when you stop dialing and act. A signed consent for you to get a child treated is worth raising too. What a clinic or hospital will accept differs from place to place, so suggest they ask their own doctor's office.
What are you working on with them at the moment: potty training, sleep, sharing, reading?
Why ask it
The answer is your to-do list from the first morning, so ask what method they are using and how far along it is. Potty training picked up halfway, with someone else's sticker chart, is harder than starting it yourself.
What calms each of them down when they are upset?
Why ask it
A parent who can answer for each child in a sentence is handing you months of trial and error for free. Ask what makes it worse too: being picked up settles one child and enrages the next.
How do the children usually take to someone new?
Why ask it
A child who took a month to accept the last sitter will probably take a month with you, and it helps to hear that before the first tearful morning. Ask what the parents plan to do in that stretch: stay nearby for a few days, leave quickly, or check in by phone. Their answer also tells you how patient they will be if the first two weeks are rough.
Would I be doing the school or nursery run, and what should I pass on from the teachers?
Why ask it
Whoever stands at the gate gets the news: the note about a scuffle, the form due Friday, the teacher who wants a word. Agree whether you relay everything or only what cannot wait. Raise homework in the same breath, since some parents want it finished before they are home and others would rather sit with it themselves.
Are there classes, playdates or outings you want in the week, and how much freedom do I have to plan my own?
Why ask it
The second half is about trust: whether you can take the children to the library on a whim, or whether every trip needs a text first. Ask who pays for classes and entry fees too, and whether a playdate at another family's house is fine or needs clearing with them.
The Household
Will either of you be working from home, and how should that run when the children know you are there?
Why ask it
A parent behind a door can be the hardest version of this job, because the children can hear the alternative to you. Agree what happens when a child knocks, who answers a cry, and whether the parent appears at lunch or stays out of sight until the end of the day.
Are there cameras in the house, and where are they?
Why ask it
Ask it in the same even tone as the question about pets. Knowing the playroom is filmed and the bathroom is not lets you get on with the day without wondering, and an evasive answer deserves more of your attention than the cameras do. Recording laws are local, so if sound is being captured, check what applies where the house is.
Do you have pets, and is any of their care part of my day?
Why ask it
Feeding a cat is nothing. Walking a large dog while pushing a stroller is a skill, and a nervous dog around a crawling baby is a safety question that you would be the one managing. Mention an allergy or a fear of dogs now, not on the first morning.
Does the job involve driving, and who provides and insures the car?
Why ask it
Ask which trips, how often and in what: a school run twice a day in your own car is fuel, wear and risk you are carrying for them. If the car is theirs, ask how you would be covered on their policy. If it is yours, ask your insurer whether driving children for work is covered at all, since that differs by insurer and by place, and agree a mileage rate before the first trip.
Who else looks after the children during the week, and do they follow the same rules?
Why ask it
A grandmother on Fridays or a co-parent in another house means the children move between rulebooks. You will be the one handling Monday's fallout, so ask what the parents want you to say when a child tells you the other house allows it.
What is your rule on my phone, and on photos of the children?
Why ask it
Most parents want two things that pull against each other: pictures through the day and a nanny who is never looking at a screen. Get the practical version, and ask plainly whether you may ever share a photo of the children, since many families say never.
Do I bring my own lunch, or eat with the children?
Why ask it
You will eat in that kitchen most working days, so it is worth one sentence now. Some families stock the fridge with the nanny in mind, some expect you to share what you cook for the children, and plenty have never considered it. Mention anything you cannot eat or will not cook, such as meat, before it comes up at the stove.
Hours and Pay
Are the hours guaranteed if you travel or the children are away?
Why ask it
Guaranteed hours mean you are paid for the agreed week whether or not the family uses it, which is the difference between a salary and a variable wage. Families who travel often, or work shifts, may expect a nanny to absorb the gaps unpaid, and this is the point at which to establish otherwise.
How much notice would I get when you need an early start, a late finish or an evening?
Why ask it
Occasional extra hours are part of most nanny jobs. The trouble is the text at four asking you to stay until eight. Ask whether you can say no without it being held against you, and notice how quickly they say yes.
What is the rate, and is that gross or net?
Why ask it
Gross and net can be a long way apart, and when a figure is agreed casually each side tends to assume the version that suits it. Settle which one you are discussing, and whether it is per hour or per week, before you compare this job with another offer.
Would I be on payroll with taxes withheld?
Why ask it
Cash in hand leaves you without documented income for a lease or a loan and without a record if the job ends abruptly. A family who has already set up payroll is treating this as employment rather than a favor. How a household employer registers and what gets deducted differs by country and state, so ask how they plan to do it where you are.
How does overtime work, and what counts as overtime?
Why ask it
Overtime needs a definition and not just a rate: past the agreed finish, past a set number of hours in a week, evenings, overnights, weekends. Without one, the extra half hour becomes normal and unpaid within a month. What the law requires for household workers differs by place, so ask what they understand to apply.
How much paid time off is there, and who chooses the dates?
Why ask it
The amount and the choosing are separate questions. Some families offer generous leave and then use all of it for their own vacations, which leaves you with no dates of your own for a wedding or a family visit.
Which public holidays are paid, and would I ever be asked to work one?
Why ask it
Families often assume the nanny is off when they are and have not decided whether the day is paid. Go through the holidays by name. What an employer has to offer differs by country and state, so check yours, then ask what this family does.
What happens if I am sick, and what happens if a child is sick?
Why ask it
Two different policies, and many households have neither. Ask whether your sick days are paid, and whether you would be expected to care for a contagious child, which some nannies decline. Sick pay is a legal minimum in some places and left to the employer in others, so look up which applies to you.
Would you consider contributing to my health insurance or my commute as part of the package?
Why ask it
Raise it after the rate is agreed, so it is an addition and not a trade. Not every family can, and those that can often need it spelled out: who pays the insurer, whether it is a fixed sum each month, what happens to it in unpaid weeks. Benefits are taxed differently from country to country, so ask how they would set it up.
What would I be expected to pay for myself, and how do I get it back?
Why ask it
Nannies routinely front money for snacks, gas, entry fees and craft supplies, and reimbursement is often slow and awkward. Ask for a card, petty cash or a weekly settle-up, and get the answer before the first outing.
Is there travel with the family, and how is that paid?
Why ask it
Family trips sound like a perk and are usually work: long days, shared rooms, no evenings off. Ask about hours, extra pay, and whether any part of the trip is genuinely yours.
The Contract
Is there a written contract, and could I see it before I decide?
Why ask it
Asking to read the contract before accepting is ordinary and shows how organized the household is. A family unwilling to write anything down is unlikely to remember in month six what was agreed in month one.
Is there a trial period, and what happens at the end of it?
Why ask it
A trial cuts both ways and is worth having, but the terms need saying out loud: how long, paid at what rate, and what conversation happens at the end. Undefined trials tend to finish without any conversation at all.
Could I do a paid trial day with the children before either of us decides?
Why ask it
An interview shows you the family sitting down. A trial day shows you breakfast, the handover and the afternoon slump, and whether the children you meet match the ones described. Agree the rate and the hours before the day, so that 'paid' is not left to be worked out at the door.
Is there anything you need from me before I start, such as a background check, first aid training or vaccinations?
Why ask it
These are reasonable things for a family to want, and the useful follow-up is who pays for them and whether training time is paid. If a check is needed, ask which service they use and what it looks at, so nothing in it surprises either of you.
How often would we sit down and review how it is going?
Why ask it
Scheduled reviews are how small problems get named before they become the reason you are let go. If the answer is that they would only talk if there were a problem, expect silence until something is already wrong.
When would my pay be looked at again, and what would a raise depend on?
Why ask it
Asked before you start, this is a planning question. Asked a year in, it is a confrontation. Ask what a raise would be tied to as well, a new baby, added duties, a year served, so you know which of those to bring up when the time comes.
What would make you end the arrangement, and how much notice would I get?
Why ask it
Uncomfortable and worth asking. You learn the notice terms and how they think about endings, including whether it has occurred to them that a nanny leaving suddenly also affects the children.
Working Together
How much do you want to hear from me during the day, and in what form?
Why ask it
One parent wants a photo every hour and another finds three texts a day alarming. If there is already a log or an app in the house for feeds and naps, find out who reads it, so you are not writing reports for nobody.
Which of you should I go to with a question during the day, and who has the final say?
Why ask it
Two parents rarely hold identical rules, and a nanny obeying one is disobeying the other. Ask who decides in the moment, and how they want to be told when their instructions to you conflict.
What would you want me to do differently from your last nanny?
Why ask it
Whatever they name, lateness, too much phone, not enough time outdoors, is what they will be watching for in your first month. If they insist nothing needs changing, ask what they would most want kept.
If I think something you have asked for is not working for one of the children, how would you like me to raise it?
Why ask it
A nap schedule a child has outgrown, or a food rule that ends in tears every lunchtime, will show up on your shift first. Some parents want to hear it that evening and some hear it as criticism, so ask for the when and the how. A parent who can give an example of taking a sitter's advice has probably meant the yes.
What matters most to you in the person you hire?
Why ask it
Let them rank it. Reliability, warmth, structure, a second language and someone who simply keeps the house running are different hires, and whichever comes first is what your first review will be about.
What is the hardest part of this job that I would not guess from the ad?
Why ask it
Most parents name something real: a brutal drop-off, a child who takes weeks to accept anyone new, a grandparent who undoes the rules every Sunday. What they pick tells you how clearly they see the work.
Would you be comfortable with me speaking to a nanny or sitter who has worked for you?
Why ask it
It is an ordinary request, and easier to make if you offer your own references in the same sentence. Keep the call short and factual: was the job what the ad said, and would they work for the family again. If the last nanny has moved away, or the family has never hired one, a regular babysitter or the trial day will have to stand in.
Is there anything in my experience or references you would like me to clear up before you decide?
Why ask it
It takes some nerve, and it lets you answer a doubt while you are still in the room instead of losing the job to it afterwards. If they raise a gap, such as no time with infants, answer with the work you have done that comes closest.
What happens next, and when would you want someone to start?
Why ask it
A start date and a decision date let you weigh this job against anything else you are considering. If they are seeing several nannies, ask when you should expect to hear, and follow up once on that day if you have not.
Running your side of a nanny interview
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
How the process usually goes
A common pattern is three stages: a short call about hours and rate, an interview at the house with the children in and out of the room, and a paid trial day. Ask the money questions in the first call. It feels forward and it saves both sides two hours if the number is impossible. If an agency is placing you, put the pay and contract questions to the agency first and spend the interview on the children and the household. Bring your own written notes of what you need, because families ask fast questions and it is easy to leave having agreed to something vague.
Which questions to ask when
- First call: the hours, the rate and whether it is gross, payroll, and why the job is open. Those four answers decide whether an interview is worth an evening for either side.
- Interview at the house: the children, the day, the household and how the parents work together. These are easier to ask with the rooms and the children in front of you.
- Before you accept: the contract, the trial, holidays, sick pay, notice and the pay review. Ask for them in writing and read them at home.
- Asking every question in one visit would turn the interview into an audit. Choose five or six for the room, and send the rest in a message once an offer is on the table.
Questions the parents are likely to ask you
- Why you left your last family, and what that family would say about you. Have a short, fair version ready that does not run them down.
- What you would do in a specific emergency: a fall, a choking child, a fever. Answer in steps, and say which training you hold and when you last renewed it.
- How you handle a tantrum, a flat refusal or two children fighting. Describe a real afternoon instead of reciting a philosophy.
- What you would do with a child of this age on a wet day indoors. Come with three or four activities that need nothing bought.
- What you are looking for in hours and pay. Give the figure you decided on before you arrived.
- Whether you are comfortable with their particulars: pets, driving, cameras, some housework, a parent at home. Say where your limits are while it is still a conversation.
What to bring and have ready
- Two or three references with dates and phone numbers, so the family can check without chasing you. Tell those people to expect a call.
- Certificates you actually hold: first aid, CPR, driving record, any background check already completed.
- Your own one-page summary of the hours you can work and the rate you need, so the answer is the same in every conversation.
- Two or three specific stories: a difficult transition you managed, a day something went wrong, a routine you set up. Parents remember examples and forget adjectives.
Talking about money without flinching
- Name a rate rather than asking what they have in mind. One number is easier to hold than a range, where the lower figure tends to become the offer.
- Ask whether the figure is gross. If they are not sure, they may not have budgeted for the employer's side of it yet.
- Price the extras rather than absorbing them: driving, housework, a third child, overnights.
- Ask for a review date instead of pushing for a higher rate now if the family is at their limit and the rest of the job suits you.
- Get everything agreed in one message or email afterwards, even if there is a contract coming. Memories differ by month three.
Where nannies get caught out
Only asking about the children
It is the comfortable half of the interview and it makes a good impression. But what sours a nanny job is more often the hours, the pay or work nobody mentioned than a four year old's temperament, so give those questions the same time.
Accepting on the day
Ask for twenty-four hours. Most families will give it, and the questions you forgot tend to arrive in the evening. If a family pushes for an answer on the spot, take that as a preview of how other decisions will be made.
Letting the role expand quietly
Listen for 'and occasionally' and 'if you have a moment'. That is how the ironing, the grocery order and the plant watering enter a job. Each is fine if you agree to it and the rate reflects it. Write them down as they are said and read the list back before you leave.
Skipping the reference the other way
You are allowed to ask to speak to their previous nanny, and many families will pass on a number without fuss. A family that cannot, because the nanny moved away or it ended badly, can still tell you which it was, and that is worth hearing too.