20 Questions

Questions to Ask Nanny Reference

Essential questions to ask when checking references for a potential nanny to ensure you're making the right choice for your family.

1

How long did the nanny work for your family?

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Why this works

Establishes the duration of employment and helps assess the nanny's commitment and stability.

2

What were the nanny's main responsibilities in your household?

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Why this works

Helps you understand the scope of work and whether it matches your family's needs.

3

How did the nanny handle difficult situations or challenging behaviors?

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Why this works

Reveals the nanny's problem-solving skills and ability to manage stressful situations with children.

4

What was the nanny's relationship like with your children?

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Why this works

Provides insight into the nanny's ability to bond with children and create positive relationships.

5

How reliable was the nanny in terms of punctuality and attendance?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding the nanny's dependability and impact on your daily schedule.

6

Did the nanny follow your parenting rules and discipline methods?

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Why this works

Ensures the nanny respected your family's values and parenting approach.

7

How did the nanny communicate with you about your children's day?

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Why this works

Reveals the nanny's communication style and whether they kept you informed about your children.

8

What were the nanny's strengths and areas for improvement?

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Why this works

Provides balanced feedback about the nanny's capabilities and any areas that needed development.

9

How did the nanny handle emergencies or unexpected situations?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding the nanny's ability to stay calm and make good decisions under pressure.

10

Did the nanny respect your home and family privacy?

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Why this works

Ensures the nanny maintained appropriate boundaries and respected your family's privacy.

11

What activities did the nanny do with your children?

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Why this works

Reveals the nanny's creativity and ability to engage children in meaningful activities.

12

How did the nanny handle conflicts between siblings or playmates?

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Why this works

Shows the nanny's ability to manage social situations and teach conflict resolution.

13

Did the nanny take initiative in planning activities or just follow instructions?

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Why this works

Reveals the nanny's level of engagement and whether they actively contributed to your children's development.

14

How did the nanny handle your children's dietary restrictions or preferences?

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Why this works

Important for understanding the nanny's attention to detail and respect for your family's needs.

15

What was the nanny's approach to screen time and technology use?

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Why this works

Ensures the nanny's approach to technology aligns with your family's values and rules.

16

Did the nanny ever have to discipline your children and how did they handle it?

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Why this works

Reveals the nanny's discipline style and whether it was consistent with your parenting approach.

17

How did the nanny handle your children's emotional needs and meltdowns?

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Why this works

Shows the nanny's emotional intelligence and ability to comfort and support children.

18

What was the nanny's relationship like with other family members?

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Why this works

Helps you understand how the nanny interacted with your spouse, other children, or extended family.

19

Would you hire this nanny again if you needed childcare?

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Why this works

The most direct question that reveals the family's overall satisfaction with the nanny's performance.

20

Is there anything else I should know about the nanny's work with your family?

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Why this works

Allows the reference to share any additional important information you might not have thought to ask about.

Conducting Effective Nanny Reference Checks

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices for Reference Checks

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Use questions that require detailed answers rather than yes/no responses to get meaningful information.

Listen for Red Flags

Pay attention to hesitation, vague answers, or reluctance to provide specific examples.

Take Detailed Notes

Write down all responses to compare with other references and your own observations.

Reference Check Questions

Performance Questions

1
What were the nanny's main strengths?
2
How did they handle difficult situations?
3
What activities did they do with your children?

Reliability Questions

1
How punctual was the nanny?
2
Did they follow your family rules?
3
How did they communicate with you?

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Don't Rush the Process

Take time to ask all your questions and listen carefully to the responses.

Avoid Leading Questions

Ask neutral questions that allow the reference to provide honest, unbiased feedback.

Don't Ignore Red Flags

If a reference seems hesitant or gives vague answers, dig deeper or consider it a warning sign.

Reference Check Templates

The Comprehensive Check

1
Step 1: Start with: 'How long did the nanny work for you?'
2
Step 2: Follow with: 'What were their main responsibilities?'
3
Step 3: Deepen with: 'How did they handle difficult situations?'

The Relationship Focus

1
Step 1: Ask: 'What was their relationship like with your children?'
2
Step 2: Explore: 'How did they handle conflicts or meltdowns?'
3
Step 3: Connect: 'What activities did they do together?'

Further Reading

How to Hire a Nanny: A Complete Guide
Background Check Services for Childcare
Nanny Contract Templates and Legal Considerations
Childcare Safety and Best Practices

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