Questions to Ask a Narcissist
Strategic questions to help you understand and navigate relationships with narcissistic individuals while protecting your emotional wellbeing.
1What do you think about other people's feelings and perspectives?
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What do you think about other people's feelings and perspectives?
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Why this works
Helps you understand their level of empathy and whether they can consider others' viewpoints.
2How do you handle criticism or feedback?
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How do you handle criticism or feedback?
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Why this works
Reveals their ability to accept input and whether they can handle challenges to their self-image.
3What happens when you don't get your way?
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What happens when you don't get your way?
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Why this works
Shows how they handle disappointment and whether they can manage frustration constructively.
4How do you think others perceive you?
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How do you think others perceive you?
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Why this works
Helps you understand their self-awareness and whether they can see themselves from others' perspectives.
5What do you do when you make a mistake?
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What do you do when you make a mistake?
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Why this works
Reveals their ability to take responsibility and learn from errors rather than deflecting blame.
6How do you handle situations where you're not the center of attention?
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How do you handle situations where you're not the center of attention?
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Why this works
Shows their comfort level with not being the focus and whether they can support others.
7What do you think about compromise and meeting others halfway?
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What do you think about compromise and meeting others halfway?
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Why this works
Helps you understand their willingness to work together and find mutually beneficial solutions.
8How do you handle it when someone else succeeds or gets recognition?
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How do you handle it when someone else succeeds or gets recognition?
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Why this works
Reveals their ability to celebrate others' achievements and whether they can be genuinely happy for others.
9What do you think about boundaries and respecting others' limits?
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What do you think about boundaries and respecting others' limits?
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Why this works
Shows their understanding of personal boundaries and whether they can respect others' needs and limits.
10How do you handle it when someone disagrees with you?
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How do you handle it when someone disagrees with you?
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Why this works
Reveals their ability to handle differing opinions and whether they can engage in healthy debate.
11What do you think about taking responsibility for your actions?
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What do you think about taking responsibility for your actions?
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Why this works
Helps you understand their accountability level and whether they can own their behavior.
12How do you handle it when someone needs your support or attention?
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How do you handle it when someone needs your support or attention?
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Why this works
Shows their ability to be there for others and whether they can prioritize others' needs when appropriate.
13What do you think about admitting when you're wrong?
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What do you think about admitting when you're wrong?
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Why this works
Reveals their humility and whether they can acknowledge errors and learn from them.
14How do you handle it when someone else is struggling or needs help?
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How do you handle it when someone else is struggling or needs help?
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Why this works
Shows their empathy and willingness to support others during difficult times.
15What do you think about sharing credit or recognition with others?
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What do you think about sharing credit or recognition with others?
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Why this works
Helps you understand their ability to acknowledge others' contributions and share success.
16How do you handle it when someone sets a boundary with you?
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How do you handle it when someone sets a boundary with you?
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Why this works
Reveals their respect for others' limits and whether they can accept when someone says no.
17What do you think about listening to others' concerns or problems?
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What do you think about listening to others' concerns or problems?
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Why this works
Shows their ability to be present for others and whether they can focus on others' needs.
18How do you handle it when someone else is more successful than you?
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How do you handle it when someone else is more successful than you?
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Why this works
Reveals their ability to handle others' success and whether they can be supportive rather than competitive.
19What do you think about apologizing when you've hurt someone?
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What do you think about apologizing when you've hurt someone?
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Why this works
Shows their ability to take responsibility for their impact on others and make amends.
20How do you handle it when someone needs space or time away from you?
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How do you handle it when someone needs space or time away from you?
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Why this works
Reveals their respect for others' needs and whether they can give space when requested.
Navigating Relationships with Narcissistic Individuals
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Understanding Narcissistic Behavior
Recognize the Patterns
Look for consistent patterns of behavior including lack of empathy, need for admiration, and difficulty with criticism.
Understand the Impact
Recognize how narcissistic behavior can affect your emotional wellbeing and relationships.
Set Realistic Expectations
Understand that people with narcissistic traits may not change and adjust your expectations accordingly.
Protecting Your Emotional Wellbeing
Set Clear Boundaries
Maintain Your Identity
Practice Self-Care
Effective Communication Strategies
Stay Calm and Centered
Don't let their behavior trigger emotional reactions. Stay calm and focused on your own wellbeing.
Use 'I' Statements
Focus on your own feelings and needs rather than attacking their behavior. This can help avoid defensive reactions.
Know When to Walk Away
Recognize when the relationship is too toxic and be prepared to limit contact or end the relationship if necessary.