Questions to Ask PNMs During Recruitment
Sorority recruitment questions to ask PNMs in the early rounds of formal recruitment, when a chapter member has a few minutes with each potential new member and dozens still to meet. The 54 questions follow one short conversation from start to finish: First minute, Campus, Fun, About her, and Before she goes, where she gets to ask you things and you check what you wrote down. If your sorority calls her an interest and meets her at an informational instead of a round, the Fun group is the one that travels best, and the guide says what to clear with your chapter first.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
First minute
Is the name on your tag the one you go by?
Why ask it
Name tags are usually printed from the registration form, so a Katherine who has been Katie since kindergarten spends the week answering to the wrong name. Write down the one she gives you, since that is the name the next member should greet her with.
Where did you grow up, and how far is that from here?
Why ask it
Distance is the useful half. A PNM from forty minutes away and one who flew in alone are having different weeks, and the answer tells you whether to ask next about weekends at home or about who she knew before she got here.
How many of these conversations have you had today?
Why ask it
Saying out loud that this is one of many timed conversations is a relief to both of you. If you are her second she still has energy to spend; if you are her twelfth, ask less and let the short answers be short. Keep it to the count and away from where she has been.
Can you hear me all right, or should we move somewhere quieter?
Why ask it
A room of forty conversations is hard on anyone, and harder on a PNM who is soft-spoken or hard of hearing and will not say so. Two steps toward a wall cost ten seconds and save her from nodding at questions she never caught.
Is this your first semester here, or have you been on campus a while?
Why ask it
Ask before any question about roommates or dorms, which assume a first-year in her first weeks. A sophomore, a transfer, or anyone at a school that holds recruitment in the spring needs those in the past tense, and will not thank you for asking how move-in went.
Have you managed to eat today?
Why ask it
Recruitment days run long and plenty of PNMs get through them on a granola bar. What a chapter may hand a PNM is set by campus rules, sometimes down to water only, so check before you offer anything. You can always tell her when the next break is.
How was the walk over here?
Why ask it
Heat, rain, a hill, new shoes: getting from one chapter to the next is the shared ordeal of the day and costs her nothing to describe. If she is limping or soaked, the right follow-up is a chair or a paper towel, not another question.
What were you doing at this time last week?
Why ask it
Seven days ago she may have been packing a car, working a last shift or saying goodbye to a dog. The distance between that and standing in a room of strangers in a name tag is something she is still getting used to, and saying it out loud tends to relax her.
Is your recruitment group a talkative one or a quiet one?
Why ask it
The group she walks from house to house with is her only company between rounds, and a quiet one means she has had nobody to laugh with since breakfast. Keep it to the mood of the group and away from where they have been, because talk about other chapters breaks the rules on most campuses.
What did you do all summer?
Why ask it
A summer holds a job, a camp, a family trip, or not much at all. Whichever part she picks to tell you about is a fair sample of what she thinks counts.
Campus
When did you move in, and how did it go?
Why ask it
Move-in is the one thing every new student has just done, so there is always a story: a broken elevator, a lofted bed, a parent who cried in the parking lot. For a sophomore or a transfer it becomes a comparison with last year, which is just as easy to talk about.
What are you thinking of studying, and has that changed since you applied?
Why ask it
The second half is what makes this work. Plenty of plans shift somewhere between the application and orientation, and the reason hers did is where the real answer is.
Who is your roommate, and how did you two end up matched?
Why ask it
There is a story whichever way it went, whether the housing office matched them or she came with a friend from home. Listen for how she talks about a person she now has to share a small room with, and if she lives at home or alone, ask about that instead.
What did you bring to your dorm that you are glad you brought?
Why ask it
Answers run from a box fan to a photo wall to her grandmother's blanket, and the object usually arrives with the person who told her to pack it. It is a small, concrete thing to ask someone who has been fielding big questions all day.
Have you found anywhere on campus you already like?
Why ask it
A first-year who has found a bench, a coffee shop or a particular library floor is exploring rather than waiting to be shown around. If she has not found one yet, offer yours, with directions she could actually follow.
Have you gotten properly lost yet?
Why ask it
Nearly everyone walks into the wrong building in the first week, and the story is funnier than anything she rehearsed for today. Trade her yours, then tell her the shortcut you wish someone had shown you.
What is a class you are surprisingly excited about?
Why ask it
Surprisingly is doing the work, because it gives her permission to be enthusiastic about something unglamorous. The PNM who lights up about a required geology course has just shown you what she is like when she is not trying to impress anyone.
Is your schedule early mornings, late labs, or a lucky mix?
Why ask it
Timetables are fresh in her mind and safe to complain about. An eight o'clock every day or a lab that runs past dinner also tells you what you can honestly say about weeknight events if you meet her again.
What is different about this campus from what you saw on the tour?
Why ask it
A tour shows the new library and skips the walk to the far parking lot. Whatever she has noticed on her own, good or bad, is a first opinion that is really hers, and it invites you to be equally straight about the place.
Who have you been eating meals with so far?
Why ask it
A gentle way to learn whether she has found anyone yet. If the answer is nobody, or only her roommate, tell her that is ordinary for the first week and mean it, because she is probably counting it against herself.
What is the first game or campus event you want to get to?
Why ask it
The first home game, a concert on the quad, the activities fair: her pick shows what she pictures when she thinks of college. If members usually go together, say that much and leave out anything that sounds like a promise about where she will be sitting.
What about the first week was harder than anyone warned you?
Why ask it
Small complaints are honest ones: a shared bathroom, a laundry machine that takes a card she does not have yet, a neighbor's music at one in the morning. A member who can say how she solved the same problem a year ago is making good use of five minutes.
Fun
What is the last thing you watched or listened to on repeat?
Why ask it
She can answer this at hour six without thinking, and the answer is specific enough to remember her by. A room full of members forgets faces but not the girl who has watched the same show four times through.
What is your usual coffee order, or what do you get instead?
Why ask it
People are oddly proud of a complicated order, and just as proud of not drinking coffee at all. Pass it on: the next member who meets her can open with the oat milk instead of asking for her major a third time.
What song would you pick to walk into a room to?
Why ask it
There is a little nerve in this, since she has to choose in front of you. Go first if she hesitates: a PNM who hears that your pick is embarrassing stops worrying about hers.
What are you far more competitive about than you should be?
Why ask it
A confession this small lets her be funny about herself, whether it is card games, a daily word puzzle or who reaches the dining hall first. Admit yours too, and expect the first real laugh of the conversation somewhere around here.
What snack are you bringing to a movie night?
Why ask it
There is no impressive answer to reach for, only a true one, which is a rest for someone who has been choosing her words since the first round. Watch for the person who turns up with a whole cheese board, because she knows exactly who she is.
What is the best costume you have ever put together?
Why ask it
If your chapter holds themed events, this is closer to real life than it sounds. She may be the one who plans a group costume in September or the one who cuts eye holes in a sheet that afternoon, and either makes a good story.
What do you know far too much about?
Why ask it
Enthusiasm for something unimportant is hard to fake, be it one reality show, a baseball team or a book series she read at twelve. Write the subject down: it is how you will tell her apart from everyone else you met when members compare notes that evening.
What was your first job, or the strangest one?
Why ask it
Lifeguarding, scooping ice cream, refereeing six-year-olds, waving a sign in a mascot suit. Job stories arrive with customers and disasters built in, so even a shy PNM has a complete anecdote ready.
What is in your camera roll the most: people, pets, food or screenshots?
Why ask it
She can answer in one word or describe four hundred pictures of the same cat. Take her word for it and do not ask to see the phone, which would put her private life on show in a crowded room.
Is there a pet at home, and who is looking after it now?
Why ask it
Missing a dog is the kind of homesickness people will admit to. Asking who has taken over the walks brings a parent or a little brother into the conversation without one direct question about her family.
What food will you defend against anyone?
Why ask it
A harmless argument is a quick way for two strangers to sound like friends. Take the other side on her pineapple pizza or her gas station nachos for a minute, then give in.
About her
Do you have siblings, and where do you fall?
Why ask it
Birth order comes with a ready-made story: the oldest of five who ran the school run, the youngest who was driven everywhere, the only child about to share a bathroom for the first time. Leave it at brothers and sisters and let her decide how much else about home to add.
What is your family like when everyone is home?
Why ask it
She can answer with one word, loud or quiet, or with the argument her family has every holiday about the same three things. If she keeps it short, take that as her answer and move on, since not everyone's house is a place they want to describe to a stranger.
What did you do in high school that you want to keep doing here?
Why ask it
A resume question turned to face forward: she tells you what she did by telling you what she is not ready to give up. Notice whether she names something she loved or something she feels she ought to continue.
What from high school were you glad to leave behind?
Why ask it
Usually a funnier answer than her list of activities: marching band at dawn, a sport she kept up for her dad, an office she never wanted to run for. It also shows she has started choosing things for herself, which is what a first semester is for.
What do your friends come to you for?
Why ask it
The answer is her job in a friend group as her friends see it: the one with the car, the one with the plan, the one who stays calm when something goes wrong. Ask about the last time it happened and you get a story instead of a label.
Are you the person who plans things, or the person who shows up?
Why ask it
Neither answer is the wrong one, so she has no reason to dress it up. Say which you are, too: a planner who meets a planner has found someone to complain to about group chats that never settle on a time.
What do you do on a day with nothing scheduled?
Why ask it
How she rests is worth hearing before a semester of full calendars. If the honest answer is a nap and nobody talking to her, say that members like that exist in your chapter too, provided it is true.
What is the best thing anyone has told you about college?
Why ask it
Quoting an aunt or an older cousin is easier than producing an opinion of her own on the spot. The advice she chose to keep usually points at what she is hoping for, or at what she is dreading.
Who from home would be most surprised to see you here today?
Why ask it
Sometimes it is a brother, sometimes a best friend, and quite often she says herself. The reason for the surprise shows how she saw herself before this week, and whether going through recruitment was a stretch for her or a given.
What compliment has stuck with you?
Why ask it
Recruitment asks people to describe themselves, which plenty of them find excruciating. Quoting what a teacher or a friend once said lets her tell you something good about herself in somebody else's words.
What do you want to try here that you would never have tried at home?
Why ask it
College is the first place where nobody knows what she was like at fourteen. Rock climbing, a radio show, a new language, an improv group: the answer describes the person she hopes to become, a kinder subject than her record so far.
What are you nervous about for this semester?
Why ask it
Recruitment is full of people performing confidence, so a plain question about nerves comes as a relief. Say something brief about your own first semester and the conversation changes register.
Before she goes
What did you picture when you signed up for recruitment, and how close has it been?
Why ask it
The gap between the videos she watched in July and a real afternoon of timed conversations is usually wide. Where it differs is what you need to explain, and letting her say it has been stranger than she expected takes some of the performance out of the room.
What can I tell you about us that nobody has covered yet?
Why ask it
Ask it plainly and then wait, because the first answer is usually a polite nothing and the real question comes a few seconds later. Whatever it is, answer for your chapter in your own words and not in lines from the recruitment video.
What have you heard about sororities that you would like someone to check?
Why ask it
Rumors about time, cost and how new members are treated reach her long before she reaches you. Answer for your own chapter only and admit what you do not know. Where the rules stop members from discussing something, money often being one, tell her who can: her recruitment counselor or the campus office for fraternity and sorority life.
What do you want to know about being a student here that has nothing to do with sororities?
Why ask it
Which library floor is quiet, how the bus works, whether the notorious professor is as hard as people say. For a few minutes you are an older student with useful information, and that is the version of you she is most likely to believe.
Would you like to meet a member in your major?
Why ask it
Offer only if the room and the rotation allow it, and check first with whoever is running the floor. Two minutes with a junior in nursing or engineering answers the thing she is too polite to ask, which is whether people like her are actually in this chapter.
Do you know who to take a question to after you leave here?
Why ask it
Most campuses give each group of PNMs a recruitment counselor under one name or another, and by the second day plenty of them have forgotten she is there to be asked. Reminding her also keeps you from guessing at how invitations or bid matching work, which differ from school to school.
What are you looking forward to once recruitment is over?
Why ask it
It reminds you both that the week ends and the semester is the real thing. Sleeping in and wearing sneakers again are fine answers, and the question carries no hint about how recruitment might turn out for her.
Before you go, did I get your hometown and your major right?
Why ask it
Say back the two facts you plan to write down. She hears that you were listening, and a mistake caught at the door never reaches the notes your chapter works from later.
If we talk again later this week, what should I ask you about?
Why ask it
Her answer is a note in her own words instead of your impression, and it gives whoever meets her next a place to start. Keep the if: whether she is back is not yours to promise, and she will hear a hint in anything firmer.
How to use these questions
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
How the five groups fit one short conversation
- First minute: one or two questions to settle her in. Get the name she goes by, find out whether she is new to campus and how her day has gone, and sort out anything practical, such as the noise, before you ask anything else.
- Campus: the safest ground with a new student. Roommates, timetables and getting lost are things she has fresh opinions about and has not been coached to answer. Most of this group is written for fall recruitment in a first-year's first weeks, so with a sophomore, a transfer, or on a campus that recruits in spring, ask the same things about last semester.
- Fun: use one when the conversation needs a laugh or she has plainly run out of energy. These also suit a second meeting later in the week, once the basics are in your notes.
- About her: choose a single question after she has relaxed, and stay with her answer for as long as it runs. Most of what is worth writing down comes from here.
- Before she goes: keep the last minute or two for it every time, because this is where she asks you things and where you read back what you wrote down. In a five-minute round that leaves room for one question from each of two or three other groups, not a tour of all five.
Early rounds are short, so plan for that
In the first rounds you may have five to eight minutes, repeated dozens of times in an afternoon. Aim to leave with two specific things about her rather than a complete picture, and write them down between conversations instead of at the end of the day. Ask one question, listen, ask a follow-up about the answer she actually gave, and let the rest of your list go. When she asks you something, answer it properly. A straight answer is one of the few things she can carry out of a five-minute conversation.
Rules and boundaries
- Follow the Panhellenic rules on your campus, which are the ones that count. Alcohol, dating, money, religion and politics are the usual off-limits list, along with any talk about other chapters.
- Say nothing that sounds like a promise of an invitation back or a bid, and check what your campus lets a member hand a PNM, down to food and drink.
- Do not ask about test scores, class rank, or what her parents do for a living.
- Avoid putting her on the spot about legacy status or who she knows. It changes the conversation for everyone within earshot.
- If she raises something hard, follow her lead and do not press. Recruitment is not the place to collect a story about someone.
If your sorority says interest, not PNM
Potential new member is the language of Panhellenic formal recruitment. Many historically Black and culturally based sororities call a prospective member an interest, and meet her at informationals, programs and service events instead of timed rounds. How members may talk with an interest, and what may be said about joining, is set by each organization and its council, and it is often stricter than anything described on this page, so ask your chapter's leadership or advisor before you borrow from it. Where a relaxed conversation at a public event is allowed, the Fun and Campus groups are the ones that fit: they are friendly, they ask nothing about her intentions, and they would work with any student who walked up to your table.
When a conversation stalls
- Answer your own question first, in two sentences. It shows the length of answer you want and gives a nervous PNM something to react to.
- Move to concrete ground: her roommate, her dorm, the walk across campus, whether she has eaten. Abstract questions are hardest to answer when exhausted.
- With someone shy, sit beside her rather than opposite and ease off the eye contact. Plenty of people talk far more easily side by side.
- Remember when it is not her fault. A loud room, a long day and eleven conversations in a row would flatten anyone.
Notes that hold up at voting
- Record one quote or one fact rather than an adjective. Plays cello and wants to keep it up beats fun and outgoing.
- Write it within a minute or two. After eight conversations everyone becomes sweet and nice.
- Keep what she said separate from how the conversation felt, and label the second as your impression.
- Be careful with words like polished, or phrases like not our vibe. They carry a great deal of bias and almost no information.