20 Questions

Questions to Ask Recovering Addicts

Sensitive, supportive questions to connect with someone in recovery while showing respect for their journey and avoiding triggers.

1

How are you doing today?

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Why this works

Simple, caring question that shows you're interested in their current well-being without being intrusive or triggering.

2

What's been going well for you lately?

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Why this works

Focuses on positive aspects of their life and recovery, helping them reflect on their progress and successes.

3

What are you most proud of in your recovery journey?

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Why this works

Allows them to share their achievements and feel proud of their progress, which can be motivating and affirming.

4

What's been helping you stay on track?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their recovery strategies and can help them reflect on what's working for them.

5

How can I best support you right now?

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Why this works

Demonstrates your care and willingness to help while respecting their autonomy and boundaries.

6

What are you looking forward to?

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Why this works

Focuses on future goals and hopes, which can be motivating and help them maintain a positive outlook.

7

What's been challenging for you recently?

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Why this works

Allows them to share difficulties in a safe way while showing you're there to listen and support them.

8

What are some of your favorite ways to relax and unwind?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their healthy coping strategies and can help them reflect on positive activities.

9

What are you learning about yourself through this process?

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Why this works

Encourages self-reflection and can help them recognize personal growth and insights from their recovery.

10

How do you like to celebrate your milestones?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their achievements and can help them think about ways to acknowledge their progress.

11

What are some of your goals for the future?

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Why this works

Focuses on their aspirations and can help them maintain motivation and hope for the future.

12

What are some of your favorite healthy activities?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their positive lifestyle choices and can help them reflect on activities they enjoy.

13

How do you like to handle stress and difficult emotions?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their coping strategies and can help them reflect on healthy ways to manage challenges.

14

What are some of the things you're grateful for?

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Why this works

Focuses on positive aspects of their life and can help them practice gratitude, which is often helpful in recovery.

15

What are some of your favorite ways to connect with others?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their social connections and can help them reflect on healthy relationships.

16

What are some of the things you're looking forward to?

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Why this works

Focuses on future hopes and can help them maintain a positive outlook and motivation.

17

What are some of your favorite ways to take care of yourself?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their self-care practices and can help them reflect on healthy ways to nurture themselves.

18

What are some of the things you're learning about recovery?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their recovery journey and can help them reflect on insights and lessons they're gaining.

19

What are some of your favorite ways to stay motivated?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their motivation strategies and can help them reflect on what keeps them going.

20

What are some of the things you're proud of about yourself?

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Why this works

Focuses on their positive qualities and achievements, which can be affirming and motivating.

Best Practices for Talking with Someone in Recovery

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Be Supportive and Non-Judgmental

Approach conversations with empathy and understanding. Avoid judgment or criticism, and focus on their strengths and progress.

Respect Their Boundaries

Don't push for information they're not comfortable sharing. Let them guide the conversation and share what they're comfortable with.

Focus on the Present and Future

Avoid dwelling on past mistakes or relapses. Focus on their current progress and future goals.

Question Sequences

The Supportive Check-in

1
How are you doing today?
2
What's been going well for you lately?
3
What are you most proud of in your recovery journey?
4
How can I best support you right now?

The Positive Focus

1
What are you looking forward to?
2
What are some of your goals for the future?
3
What are some of the things you're grateful for?
4
What are some of the things you're proud of about yourself?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Ask About Past Substance Use

Avoid questions about their past use, relapses, or specific details about their addiction. Focus on their recovery and current well-being.

Avoid Triggering Topics

Be mindful of topics that might be triggering, such as specific substances, places, or people associated with their past use.

Don't Make Assumptions

Don't assume you know what they're going through or what they need. Ask them directly how you can support them.

Conversation Templates

The Gentle Support

1
Step 1: Start with: "How are you doing today?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "What's been going well for you lately?"
3
Step 3: Deepen with: "What are you most proud of in your recovery journey?"
4
Step 4: Support with: "How can I best support you right now?"

Further Reading

"In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" by Gabor Maté
"Recovery" by Russell Brand
"The Big Book" by Alcoholics Anonymous
National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) resources

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