20 Questions

Questions to Ask Siblings

Meaningful questions to deepen your bond with your siblings, understand their perspectives, and strengthen your family relationships.

1

What's your favorite memory of us growing up together?

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Why this works

Encourages sharing of positive childhood memories and helps you understand what moments were meaningful to them.

2

What's something you've always wanted to tell me but haven't?

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Why this works

Creates a safe space for open communication and helps you understand what they might have been holding back.

3

What's something you're really proud of that you've accomplished?

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Why this works

Builds connection by celebrating their achievements and helps you understand what they value about themselves.

4

What's something you're struggling with right now?

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Why this works

Creates space for them to share difficulties and helps you understand what they're going through.

5

What's something you wish I understood better about you?

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Why this works

Encourages open communication and helps you understand their perspective and needs.

6

What's something you're really excited about?

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Why this works

Shows their enthusiasm and helps you understand what brings them joy and anticipation.

7

What's something you're grateful for?

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Why this works

Encourages gratitude and helps you understand what they value and appreciate.

8

What's something you're curious about or want to learn more about?

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Why this works

Encourages their curiosity and helps you understand their interests and learning goals.

9

What's something you wish you could change about our relationship?

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Why this works

Creates space for them to share what they'd like to improve in your relationship.

10

What's something you're looking forward to?

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Why this works

Shows their hopes and dreams while helping you understand what excites them about the future.

11

What's something you've learned recently that surprised you?

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Why this works

Encourages learning and helps you understand what captures their attention and curiosity.

12

What's something you're really good at that you enjoy?

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Why this works

Helps you understand their strengths and interests while building their confidence.

13

What's something that made you laugh recently?

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Why this works

Encourages sharing of positive moments and helps you understand their sense of humor.

14

What's something you wish you could do better?

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Why this works

Shows their self-awareness and helps you understand their goals and areas for growth.

15

What's something you love about our family?

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Why this works

Encourages appreciation for family while helping you understand what they value about your family dynamic.

16

What's something you're curious about that you haven't explored yet?

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Why this works

Encourages their curiosity and can help you support them in trying new things.

17

What's something you wish you could change about yourself?

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Why this works

Creates space for self-reflection while helping you understand their self-perception and goals.

18

What's something you're really looking forward to in the future?

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Why this works

Shows their hopes and dreams while helping you understand what excites them about life.

19

What's something you love about being you?

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Why this works

Builds self-love and helps you understand what they value about themselves and their identity.

20

What's something you wish you could tell me but haven't?

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Why this works

Creates a safe space for open communication and helps you understand what they might be holding back.

Building Stronger Sibling Relationships

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Creating Meaningful Conversations

Listen Without Judgment

Create a safe space where your sibling feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism.

Ask Follow-up Questions

Show genuine interest by asking follow-up questions that help you understand their perspective better.

Share Your Own Experiences

When appropriate, share your own related experiences to create connection and show that you understand.

Natural Conversation Flow

The Memory Lane

Share favorite childhood memories
Discuss family traditions and experiences
Explore what you both remember differently
Celebrate shared history and connection

The Present Moment

Ask about their current life and experiences
Explore what they're excited or worried about
Discuss their goals and aspirations
Share your own current experiences

The Future Vision

Discuss hopes and dreams for the future
Explore what they want to accomplish
Talk about family goals and aspirations
Share your own future plans

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Don't Interrogate

Avoid rapid-fire questions that feel like an interrogation. Space out questions and let the conversation flow naturally.

Avoid Bringing Up Old Wounds

Don't use this as an opportunity to rehash old arguments or bring up past hurts. Focus on building connection.

Don't Dismiss Their Feelings

Even if their concerns seem small to you, they're real to them. Validate their feelings and take them seriously.

Further Reading

"Siblings Without Rivalry" by Adele Faber
"The Sibling Effect" by Jeffrey Kluger
"Adult Sibling Relationships" by Geoffrey Greif

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