Questions to Ask Someone From a Different Country
Questions for a real conversation with someone whose home country is not yours, covering daily life, food, work, language, and what they think outsiders get wrong. Written to avoid the interrogation feel.
The questions
Open any question for the note
Whereabouts are you from?
Why ask it
Ask this once, take the answer given, and move on. Pushing for a more specific or more exotic answer is what makes the question tiring for people who get it constantly.
What's a normal weekday like there?
Why ask it
Gets you meal times, commutes, and when people are actually home, which is where most real cultural difference lives. Far more useful than asking about traditions.
What do you miss that's hard to explain to people here?
Why ask it
The "hard to explain" part invites the specific answer rather than the polite one: a particular bread, a noise, a way of being greeted in a shop.
What's something from home you can't get here, or can only get badly?
Why ask it
Food and household staples come up first, and the disappointing local substitute is usually a good story. Easy question, and it often ends in an invitation to eat.
What surprised you most about how things work here?
Why ask it
Turns the lens on your own country, which is easier to answer than defending theirs. Expect the answer to be about something mundane: banking, queues, small talk, how cold houses are.
What did you have to learn the hard way when you got here?
Why ask it
Reveals the practical friction nobody warns newcomers about, and it treats their experience as expertise rather than as a curiosity.
What do people here usually get wrong about your country?
Why ask it
Gives them room to correct something without you having to guess which stereotype to raise. Be ready for the answer to be about your own assumptions.
Is there a phrase in your language that you find yourself missing in English?
Why ask it
Usually produces something more interesting than an untranslatable word: an idiom, a form of politeness, a way of addressing an older person that English has no slot for.
How do people your age typically spend a Friday night there?
Why ask it
Tying it to their generation avoids getting a tourist-brochure answer. It also tends to surface how much of social life happens at home versus out.
What's considered rude there that's fine here, or the other way round?
Why ask it
Practical for both of you and usually funny. Answers often involve timekeeping, direct questions, or how you treat food you have been given.
How does work there compare with work here: hours, holidays, how people talk to their boss?
Why ask it
The third item is the revealing one. Hierarchy and directness at work vary far more between countries than hours do.
What's school like there, and what did they care most about you being good at?
Why ask it
The second clause gets you the underlying priorities: exams, obedience, argument, sport. That shapes how people expect to be taught and managed for life.
How do families usually arrange things there when someone's parents get older?
Why ask it
One of the sharpest and least discussed differences between countries. Answers explain a lot about housing, savings, and how far people move for work.
What's something made in your country, a film, a band, a book, that you'd want me to try?
Why ask it
A concrete recommendation you can actually follow up on, which is worth more than a general discussion of national culture. Write it down in front of them.
Is there a holiday there you're sorry to miss?
Why ask it
Focuses on absence rather than description, which gets you why the day matters instead of a summary of what happens on it.
What's changed about the country since you left, from what you hear?
Why ask it
Reminds both of you that their country is a moving thing, not a fixed set of customs. It also often opens onto politics or economics on their terms rather than yours.
Do you think you see your own country differently now that you've lived somewhere else?
Why ask it
Frequently the most reflective answer in the conversation. Some people become fonder of home, others more critical, and both are worth hearing.
Is there something you've picked up here that you'd want to take back with you?
Why ask it
Balances the earlier questions about loss. It also tends to be flattering without being fishing for compliments, since they choose what to praise.
Where would you send someone visiting for the first time, and where wouldn't you?
Why ask it
The second half is the useful half, and locals answer it far more freely than any guidebook. Expect at least one famous place to be on the do-not-bother list.
Is there anything you wish people asked you instead of the usual questions?
Why ask it
Good way to close, and it hands control of the conversation back. If the answer is that they would rather talk about something else entirely, that is a fair result.
How to use these questions
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Keep it a conversation, not an interview
- Answer each question about your own country too. Without that, it becomes a survey.
- Two or three questions in a sitting is plenty. This list is a resource, not a script.
- Take their first answer at face value rather than digging for something more colourful.
- Ask about their life, not their nation. "How does your family do it" beats "how do people in your country do it."
- Follow up on the specific detail they mentioned rather than moving to the next topic.
What not to ask
- "Where are you really from?" There is no version of this that lands well.
- Opening with war, poverty, or a recent disaster. If they want to go there, they will.
- Making them account for their government's actions or their country's reputation.
- "Say something in your language." It turns a person into a party trick.
- Comparisons framed as better and worse, especially about food, cleanliness, or how hard people work.
- Guessing their nationality, religion, or language before they have said.
Useful follow-ups
- "What's it actually called?" for any food or custom they describe in English approximations.
- "Is that everywhere, or just where you're from?" catches regional differences most countries have.
- "How did you learn that?" when they explain something about life here.
- "Do you want me to try saying it?" before attempting a word, rather than after mangling it.