Questions to Ask Someone High
Playful questions for a relaxed evening with friends who are stoned, plus notes on which ones land, which ones fall flat, and when to stop asking and put a film on.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What's the last thing you noticed in this room that you'd never noticed before?
Why ask it
Works because the answer is right there and needs no memory. Someone struggling to hold a thought can still point at a lampshade, which is why this is a good first question.
What are you hearing right now that I'm not?
Why ask it
Redirects to sound, which usually feels much closer than usual. Answers are often the fridge, traffic, or somebody's breathing, and everyone in the room goes quiet to check.
Does this song sound different from usual, and how?
Why ask it
Concrete and shared, so the group can argue about it. Vaguer versions like "what does music feel like" tend to get a long pause and then nothing.
What food would be objectively perfect right now?
Why ask it
Reliable for getting a whole room talking, and it usually ends with someone actually cooking. The specificity of the answers is the funny part.
What's the stupidest thing you've ever laughed at for too long?
Why ask it
Lands well because it invites a story rather than an insight. It also gives everyone permission to be unserious, which the deeper questions rely on.
What's a word that's always sounded wrong to you?
Why ask it
Easy, silly, and endlessly extendable, since someone always tries to defend the word. Better than asking people to invent a new word, which mostly produces a stalled silence.
How long do you think we've been sitting here?
Why ask it
Getting the group to guess before checking a clock is more fun than discussing time in the abstract. The spread between guesses is usually the joke.
What's something everyone does that would look completely insane to an alien?
Why ask it
Sturdy premise that works whatever state anyone is in. Expect handshakes, birthdays, or ties, and expect it to run for twenty minutes.
What's a thing you believed as a kid that you didn't question for way too long?
Why ask it
Gets funny stories and a bit of genuine self-revelation without any pressure to be profound. Good bridge between the silly questions and the reflective ones.
If your house could talk, what would it complain about first?
Why ask it
Playful and concrete, unlike asking someone to converse with an object generally. It works because the answer is a small domestic grievance everyone recognises.
What's a totally useless skill you're weirdly good at?
Why ask it
Often produces a demonstration, which is better than an answer. It also draws out the quieter person in the room, who usually has the best one.
What's the worst possible way to open a wedding speech?
Why ask it
Prompts a competition rather than a confession, so nobody has to be interesting alone. Constraint-based questions like this hold up when attention is short.
What conspiracy theory do you think is genuinely plausible?
Why ask it
Fun until it is not. Watch for whether the room is joking or someone is actually committed, and change the subject if it starts to sound sincere and anxious.
What's something you'd do differently if nobody could remember it tomorrow?
Why ask it
Hypothetical enough to be safe and honest enough to be interesting. Do not press if the answer arrives with an edge to it.
What did you think you'd be doing by now, when you were sixteen?
Why ask it
Reflective without being heavy, and everybody has an answer. Read the room first, though, because for some people this question goes somewhere sad quickly.
What's something you've changed your mind about in the last few years?
Why ask it
One of the few genuinely searching questions that survives this setting, because it asks for a story rather than an argument.
What's the best thing that's happened to you this year that you haven't told anyone about?
Why ask it
The unshared part is what makes it work. It tends to get small, private, real answers rather than headline news.
Who do you owe a phone call to?
Why ask it
Simple and quietly effective, and it lands differently late at night. Occasionally somebody makes the call, which is more than most conversation questions achieve.
What would you want someone to say to you if you were having a bad time in this state?
Why ask it
Worth asking early in an evening rather than late, because it is genuinely useful information about your friends. Answers are usually specific: sit with me, take me outside, do not make it a thing.
Are you good, or do you want to stop talking for a bit?
Why ask it
The most important one on the list. Silence, a film, water, or fresh air is often what someone wants and will not volunteer, and asking gives them the exit.
How to use these questions
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
What actually lands
- Questions about the room beat questions about the universe. Attention is short, and a visible object gives the answer somewhere to start.
- Prompts with a constraint work better than open invitations to be deep. "The worst possible wedding speech" gets answers; "what is consciousness" gets a long pause.
- Anything requiring a timeline, a name, or a number is hard. Do not turn it into a memory test.
- Let a tangent run. The tangent is usually better than the question you asked.
- Follow-ups should be short. "Why?" and "like what?" carry a conversation further than a second full question.
Reading the room
Anxiety looks like withdrawal
Someone going quiet, checking their phone, or repeating that they are fine is often not fine. Switch to water, food, and something to watch, and drop the questions entirely.
Do not film people
Recording someone for a group chat is the fastest way to make an evening something they regret. Ask first, and accept a no.
Skip the interrogation topics
Exes, money, work performance, and anything they have been avoiding sober will land harder now and be remembered tomorrow.
Match the level
If you are sober and they are not, the imbalance is real. Asking searching questions in that setting can feel like an advantage being used.