Questions to Ask Someone Who Is High
Questions for looking after someone who is high, particularly if they seem anxious or unwell. They cover what they took, how they are doing, and what would help, in the order you would actually ask them.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What did you take?
Why ask it
Ask first and without any reaction to the answer. Cannabis, edibles, alcohol on top, or something they were given at a party all behave differently, and you cannot judge anything else until you know.
How much, and how long ago?
Why ask it
Edibles often peak two hours in, so someone who feels bad at forty minutes is likely to feel worse before better. The timing changes what you tell them to expect.
Was it anything you'd had before?
Why ask it
Unfamiliar strength or an unfamiliar source is the usual reason an ordinary evening goes wrong. It also tells you whether they have a baseline to compare against.
Did you drink as well, or take anything else?
Why ask it
Combinations account for most of the bad outcomes, and people often forget to mention alcohol because they do not count it. Ask specifically rather than leaving it open.
Are you on any medication, or do you have any health conditions I should know about?
Why ask it
Heart conditions, epilepsy, and psychiatric medication all change the picture and the threshold for getting help. Ask early, while they can still answer clearly.
How are you feeling, physically?
Why ask it
Separating physical from mental gets you a more usable answer. Racing heart, chest pain, being unable to stop vomiting, and difficulty breathing are the ones that mean help rather than reassurance.
Is anything frightening you right now?
Why ask it
Naming fear out loud reduces it, and it tells you whether this is discomfort or panic. Answers about the room, the people present, or losing their mind are common and worth taking at face value.
Do you know where you are, and who I am?
Why ask it
A calm way to check orientation without it sounding like a test. Confusion about place or people, or not being able to stay awake, moves this from care to medical help.
Do you want me to stay with you?
Why ask it
Ask rather than assume. Some people need company and some need the room to empty, and guessing wrong makes anxiety worse.
Would it help to sit down, or to get some air?
Why ask it
Offering two concrete options is easier than asking what they want, which is hard work when thinking is slow. Sitting is usually the better first move if they feel faint.
Do you want water?
Why ask it
Small, useful, and easy to say yes to. Sipping water gives someone something to do with their hands and attention, which helps more than it sounds like it should.
Would something to eat help?
Why ask it
Worth offering, though it will not shorten the effect of an edible already absorbed. Plain food and a low-key setting help more than sugar and stimulation.
Is the music or the light bothering you?
Why ask it
Overstimulation is one of the easiest things to fix and one of the last things anyone checks. Turning things down often settles someone within minutes.
Do you want to move somewhere quieter?
Why ask it
Ask before steering them anywhere. Being moved without agreement, especially through a crowd, tends to escalate panic rather than reduce it.
Can you breathe with me for a minute?
Why ask it
More effective than telling someone to calm down, because it gives them something to copy. Slow and out-loud, and stop if they find it makes them more self-conscious.
Has this happened to you before, and what helped?
Why ask it
They are the best source of information about themselves, even now. Answers are usually specific: lying down, being outside, a particular person, being left alone.
Do you want me to call anyone?
Why ask it
A partner, a housemate, or a friend they trust. Offer, and do not call anyone they say no to unless their safety requires it.
Are you safe to get home, and how were you planning to get there?
Why ask it
Ask well before they try to leave. Driving is the answer to watch for, and it is the point at which you stop asking and start arranging something else.
Do you want me to check on you later?
Why ask it
Agree a time and a method while they can still take it in. It gives them something predictable ahead, and it means someone notices if they are worse.
Would you rather I stopped asking questions?
Why ask it
Often yes. Repeated questions can feel like interrogation to someone already anxious, and sitting quietly nearby is a complete answer to most of this.
How to use these questions
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
The order that works
- 1Find out what they took, how much, when, and whether anything was mixed with it.
- 2Ask about medication and health conditions while they can still answer clearly.
- 3Check the physical symptoms before the emotional ones.
- 4Fix the environment: sitting down, water, quiet, less light, fewer people.
- 5Ask what has helped before, and do that.
- 6Sort out getting home, and agree when you will check on them.
When to stop asking and get help
- Chest pain, a racing or irregular heartbeat, or difficulty breathing.
- Vomiting that will not stop, or vomiting while drowsy.
- Not staying awake, not responding, or a seizure.
- Confusion about where they are or who people are that keeps getting worse.
- Anything suggesting they might harm themselves.
- Something taken that nobody can identify, or a combination with alcohol or other drugs.
- In any of these cases call emergency services and say what was taken. Stay with them until help arrives.
How to be with them
Keep your own voice level
Alarm is contagious and anxiety is the main problem in most of these situations. Slow speech and short sentences do more than any particular question.
Say what is happening and that it ends
"You've had too much, it feels bad, it will pass, I'm staying here." Being told the shape of it is what most people need, and it can be repeated as often as they need to hear it.
One person talking
A circle of concerned people asking questions makes panic worse. Everyone else can leave the room.
No lectures tonight
Any conversation about how much they use belongs on another day. Raising it now guarantees they will not tell you the truth next time.
Do not record them
Filming someone in this state for a group chat is a betrayal they will remember. Put the phone away.
Common mistakes
Talking them out of how they feel
"You're fine, relax" is heard as not being believed. Acknowledge it, then say what you are going to do about it.
Coffee, cold showers, and walking it off
None of these clear a substance from the body, and a cold shower on someone unsteady is a fall risk. Quiet, warmth, water, and time are the actual options.
Not asking about mixing
People report the drug they meant to take and omit the drink, the pill someone handed them, or their own prescription. Ask about each separately.
Leaving them alone to sleep it off
Drowsiness with vomiting is the dangerous combination. If they sleep, keep them on their side and check on them.
Delaying help to avoid trouble
Worry about getting someone in trouble is the most common reason help is called too late. Describe what was taken honestly when you call.