Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone
Conversation starters that reveal personality, values, and interests while building genuine connection.
1What's something you're really passionate about?
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What's something you're really passionate about?
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Why this works
Reveals what drives them and what they care deeply about, showing their values and interests.
2What's the best advice you've ever received?
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What's the best advice you've ever received?
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Why this works
Shows their wisdom, values, and life philosophy while being personal but not too intimate.
3If you could have dinner with anyone (living or dead), who would it be?
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If you could have dinner with anyone (living or dead), who would it be?
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Why this works
Reveals their interests, values, and what they find inspiring or admirable.
4What's something you're proud of that most people don't know about?
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What's something you're proud of that most people don't know about?
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Why this works
Creates intimacy by sharing something meaningful they don't usually reveal.
5What's your idea of a perfect day?
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What's your idea of a perfect day?
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Why this works
Reveals values, lifestyle preferences, and what truly makes them happy.
6What's something you've learned about yourself recently?
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What's something you've learned about yourself recently?
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Why this works
Shows self-awareness and growth mindset while being introspective.
7What's a quality you admire most in others?
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What's a quality you admire most in others?
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Why this works
Shows values, what they respect, and what they might aspire to be.
8What's something that always makes you smile?
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What's something that always makes you smile?
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Why this works
Light and positive, reveals what brings them joy and happiness.
9If you could master any skill instantly, what would it be?
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If you could master any skill instantly, what would it be?
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Why this works
Shows aspirations, interests, and what they value or find fascinating.
10What's the most interesting thing you've discovered this year?
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What's the most interesting thing you've discovered this year?
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Why this works
Reveals curiosity, learning style, and what captures their attention.
11What's something you're looking forward to?
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What's something you're looking forward to?
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Why this works
Shows optimism, future plans, and what excites them about life.
12What's a small thing that made your day recently?
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What's a small thing that made your day recently?
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Why this works
Easy to answer, shows appreciation for simple pleasures and daily life.
13What's something you're curious about lately?
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What's something you're curious about lately?
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Why this works
Reveals intellectual interests and what's currently on their mind.
14What's your favorite way to unwind?
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What's your favorite way to unwind?
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Why this works
Shows lifestyle, stress management, and what they find relaxing or enjoyable.
15What's something you appreciate about your friends?
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What's something you appreciate about your friends?
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Why this works
Reveals what they value in relationships and their social perspective.
16What's a goal you're working toward?
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What's a goal you're working toward?
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Why this works
Shows ambition, direction, and what they're actively pursuing in life.
17What's something that surprised you recently?
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What's something that surprised you recently?
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Why this works
Reveals what catches them off guard and their perspective on unexpected events.
18What's your favorite way to spend a quiet evening?
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What's your favorite way to spend a quiet evening?
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Why this works
Shows lifestyle preferences, introversion/extroversion, and ideal relaxation.
19What's something you're grateful for today?
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What's something you're grateful for today?
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Why this works
Positive and reflective, shows appreciation and what they value in life.
20What's a book, movie, or show that really impacted you?
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What's a book, movie, or show that really impacted you?
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Why this works
Reveals their taste, values, and what resonates with them emotionally or intellectually.
Building Meaningful Connections Through Questions
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Making Genuine Connections
Start with Light Questions
Begin with easy, non-threatening questions that reveal personality without being too personal.
Listen Actively
Pay attention to their answers and ask follow-up questions. Show genuine interest in what they're sharing.
Share Your Own Answers
Reciprocity builds connection. When appropriate, share your own answer to create a balanced conversation.
Natural Conversation Flow
The Discovery Sequence
The Values Exploration
The Future Focus
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
Don't Make It an Interview
Space out your questions with natural conversation. Share stories, make observations, and let the conversation breathe.
Avoid Controversial Topics Early
Save politics, religion, and other potentially divisive topics for when you know each other better.
Don't Rush to Personal Questions
Let the conversation develop naturally. Jumping too quickly to very personal questions can feel invasive.