20 Questions

Questions to Ask Your Daughter

Meaningful questions to strengthen your bond with your daughter, understand her world, and support her growth and development.

1

What's something you're really proud of about yourself?

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Why this works

Builds self-esteem and helps you understand what she values about herself and her accomplishments.

2

What's something that's been challenging for you lately?

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Why this works

Creates a safe space for her to share difficulties and helps you understand what she's struggling with.

3

What's something you're really excited about?

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Why this works

Shows her enthusiasm and helps you understand what brings her joy and anticipation.

4

What's something you wish I understood better about you?

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Why this works

Encourages open communication and helps you understand her perspective and needs.

5

What's something you're curious about or want to learn more about?

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Why this works

Encourages her curiosity and helps you understand her interests and learning goals.

6

What's something that makes you feel really happy?

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Why this works

Helps you understand what brings her joy and can guide you in supporting her happiness.

7

What's something you're worried about?

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Why this works

Creates space for her to share concerns and helps you understand what's on her mind.

8

What's something you're grateful for?

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Why this works

Encourages gratitude and helps you understand what she values and appreciates.

9

What's something you wish you could change about the world?

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Why this works

Reveals her values and concerns while encouraging her to think about making a positive impact.

10

What's something you're looking forward to?

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Why this works

Shows her hopes and dreams while helping you understand what excites her about the future.

11

What's something you've learned recently that surprised you?

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Why this works

Encourages learning and helps you understand what captures her attention and curiosity.

12

What's something you wish you could tell me but haven't?

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Why this works

Creates a safe space for open communication and helps you understand what she might be holding back.

13

What's something you're really good at that you enjoy?

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Why this works

Helps you understand her strengths and interests while building her confidence.

14

What's something that made you laugh recently?

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Why this works

Encourages sharing of positive moments and helps you understand her sense of humor.

15

What's something you wish you could do better?

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Why this works

Shows her self-awareness and helps you understand her goals and areas for growth.

16

What's something you love about our relationship?

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Why this works

Encourages appreciation for your bond while helping you understand what she values about your connection.

17

What's something you're curious about that you haven't explored yet?

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Why this works

Encourages her curiosity and can help you support her in trying new things.

18

What's something you wish you could change about yourself?

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Why this works

Creates space for self-reflection while helping you understand her self-perception and goals.

19

What's something you're really looking forward to in the future?

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Why this works

Shows her hopes and dreams while helping you understand what excites her about life.

20

What's something you love about being you?

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Why this works

Builds self-love and helps you understand what she values about herself and her identity.

Building a Strong Bond with Your Daughter

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Creating Meaningful Conversations

Listen Without Judgment

Create a safe space where your daughter feels comfortable sharing her thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism.

Ask Follow-up Questions

Show genuine interest by asking follow-up questions that help you understand her perspective better.

Share Your Own Experiences

When appropriate, share your own related experiences to create connection and show that you understand.

Natural Conversation Flow

The Daily Check-in

Start with positive questions about her day
Ask about challenges she faced
Explore what she learned or discovered
End with gratitude or looking forward

The Interest Explorer

Ask about her hobbies and interests
Explore what she's curious about
Discuss her goals and aspirations
Share your own related interests

The Emotional Check-in

Ask about her feelings and emotions
Explore what makes her happy or worried
Discuss her relationships with friends
Create space for difficult conversations

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Don't Interrogate

Avoid rapid-fire questions that feel like an interrogation. Space out questions and let the conversation flow naturally.

Avoid Leading Questions

Don't ask questions that suggest the answer you want to hear. Let her share her genuine thoughts and feelings.

Don't Dismiss Her Feelings

Even if her concerns seem small to you, they're real to her. Validate her feelings and take them seriously.

Further Reading

"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber
"The Whole-Brain Child" by Daniel Siegel
"Parenting with Love and Logic" by Charles Fay

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