20 Questions

Questions to Ask Your Kids

Meaningful questions that help you connect with your children, understand their world, and build stronger relationships.

1

What was the best part of your day today?

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Why this works

Encourages positive reflection and helps you understand what brings them joy and satisfaction.

2

What's something you're proud of that you did recently?

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Why this works

Builds self-esteem and helps you celebrate their achievements while understanding their values.

3

If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

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Why this works

Fun and imaginative, this reveals their interests, values, and what they find important or exciting.

4

What's something that made you laugh today?

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Why this works

Encourages sharing of positive moments and helps you understand their sense of humor.

5

What's something you're looking forward to?

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Why this works

Shows their hopes and dreams while helping you understand what excites them about life.

6

What's something you're worried about?

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Why this works

Creates a safe space to share concerns and helps you understand what's on their mind.

7

What's something you learned today that you didn't know before?

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Why this works

Encourages learning and helps you understand their interests and what captures their attention.

8

If you could change one thing about school, what would it be?

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Why this works

Gives insight into their school experience and helps you understand any challenges they might be facing.

9

What's your favorite thing to do when you have free time?

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Why this works

Reveals their interests and hobbies while helping you understand what they find enjoyable and relaxing.

10

What's something you're grateful for today?

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Why this works

Encourages gratitude and positive thinking while helping you understand what they value.

11

What's something that was hard for you today?

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Why this works

Creates space to share challenges and helps you understand what they're struggling with.

12

If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?

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Why this works

Fun and creative, this reveals their personality traits and what they admire or find interesting.

13

What's something you wish you could do better?

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Why this works

Shows self-awareness and helps you understand their goals and areas where they want to improve.

14

What's your favorite memory from this week?

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Why this works

Encourages reflection on positive experiences and helps you understand what makes them happy.

15

What's something you're curious about?

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Why this works

Encourages curiosity and learning while helping you understand their interests and questions about the world.

16

What's something that made you feel proud of yourself?

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Why this works

Builds self-esteem and helps you understand their accomplishments and what they value about themselves.

17

If you could have dinner with anyone (real or fictional), who would it be?

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Why this works

Reveals their interests, values, and what they find inspiring or admirable.

18

What's something you're excited about?

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Why this works

Shows their enthusiasm and helps you understand what brings them joy and anticipation.

19

What's something you wish you could tell me but haven't?

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Why this works

Creates a safe space for open communication and helps you understand what they might be holding back.

20

What's something you love about our family?

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Why this works

Encourages appreciation for family while helping you understand what they value about your family dynamic.

Building Stronger Connections with Your Kids

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Creating Meaningful Conversations

Listen Without Judgment

Create a safe space where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism.

Ask Follow-up Questions

Show genuine interest by asking follow-up questions that help you understand their perspective better.

Share Your Own Experiences

When appropriate, share your own related experiences to create connection and show that you understand.

Natural Conversation Flow

The Daily Check-in

Start with positive questions about their day
Ask about challenges they faced
Explore what they learned or discovered
End with gratitude or looking forward

The Interest Explorer

Ask about their hobbies and interests
Explore what they're curious about
Discuss their goals and aspirations
Share your own related interests

The Emotional Check-in

Ask about their feelings and emotions
Explore what makes them happy or worried
Discuss their relationships with friends
Create space for difficult conversations

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Don't Interrogate

Avoid rapid-fire questions that feel like an interrogation. Space out questions and let the conversation flow naturally.

Avoid Leading Questions

Don't ask questions that suggest the answer you want to hear. Let them share their genuine thoughts and feelings.

Don't Dismiss Their Feelings

Even if their concerns seem small to you, they're real to them. Validate their feelings and take them seriously.

Further Reading

"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber
"The Whole-Brain Child" by Daniel Siegel
"Parenting with Love and Logic" by Charles Fay

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