Questions to Ask Your Kids About You
Meaningful questions to ask your children about you as a parent to gain insight into their perspective, improve your parenting, and strengthen your relationship.
1What do you like most about me as a parent?
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What do you like most about me as a parent?
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Why this works
Understanding what they appreciate helps you know what you're doing well and what to continue doing.
2What's something I do that makes you feel loved?
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What's something I do that makes you feel loved?
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Why this works
Learning about what makes them feel loved helps you understand their love language and how to show affection effectively.
3What's something I do that makes you feel proud?
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What's something I do that makes you feel proud?
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Why this works
Understanding what makes them proud helps you know what they value and how to support their self-esteem.
4What's something I do that makes you feel safe?
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What's something I do that makes you feel safe?
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Why this works
Learning about what makes them feel safe helps you understand how to create a secure environment for them.
5What's something I do that makes you feel understood?
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What's something I do that makes you feel understood?
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Why this works
Understanding what makes them feel understood helps you know how to communicate effectively and show empathy.
6What's something I do that makes you feel supported?
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What's something I do that makes you feel supported?
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Why this works
Learning about what makes them feel supported helps you know how to encourage and help them succeed.
7What's something I do that makes you feel respected?
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What's something I do that makes you feel respected?
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Why this works
Understanding what makes them feel respected helps you know how to treat them with dignity and value their opinions.
8What's something I do that makes you feel heard?
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What's something I do that makes you feel heard?
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Why this works
Learning about what makes them feel heard helps you know how to listen effectively and validate their feelings.
9What's something I do that makes you feel valued?
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What's something I do that makes you feel valued?
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Why this works
Understanding what makes them feel valued helps you know how to show appreciation and make them feel important.
10What's something I do that makes you feel confident?
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What's something I do that makes you feel confident?
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Why this works
Learning about what makes them feel confident helps you know how to build their self-esteem and encourage their abilities.
11What's something I do that makes you feel happy?
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What's something I do that makes you feel happy?
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Why this works
Understanding what makes them happy helps you know how to bring joy to their lives and create positive experiences.
12What's something I do that makes you feel excited?
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What's something I do that makes you feel excited?
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Why this works
Learning about what makes them excited helps you know how to engage their interests and create enthusiasm.
13What's something I do that makes you feel calm?
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What's something I do that makes you feel calm?
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Why this works
Understanding what makes them feel calm helps you know how to help them relax and manage stress.
14What's something I do that makes you feel inspired?
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What's something I do that makes you feel inspired?
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Why this works
Learning about what inspires them helps you know how to motivate and encourage their dreams and aspirations.
15What's something I do that makes you feel grateful?
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What's something I do that makes you feel grateful?
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Why this works
Understanding what makes them grateful helps you know how to create meaningful experiences and teach appreciation.
16What's something I do that makes you feel special?
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What's something I do that makes you feel special?
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Why this works
Learning about what makes them feel special helps you know how to show them they're unique and important.
17What's something I do that makes you feel connected to me?
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What's something I do that makes you feel connected to me?
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Why this works
Understanding what makes them feel connected helps you know how to build and maintain a strong relationship.
18What's something I do that makes you feel like you can be yourself?
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What's something I do that makes you feel like you can be yourself?
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Why this works
Learning about what makes them feel authentic helps you know how to create an environment where they can be genuine.
19What's something I do that makes you feel like you can trust me?
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What's something I do that makes you feel like you can trust me?
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Why this works
Understanding what builds trust helps you know how to create a safe and reliable relationship.
20What's something I do that makes you feel like you can count on me?
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What's something I do that makes you feel like you can count on me?
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Why this works
Learning about what makes them feel dependable helps you know how to be a reliable and consistent presence in their lives.
Understanding Your Children's Perspective
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Creating a Safe Space for Feedback
Listen Without Defensiveness
Be open to their feedback without becoming defensive or dismissive of their perspective.
Ask Follow-up Questions
Show genuine interest by asking follow-up questions that help you understand their perspective better.
Thank Them for Sharing
Express gratitude for their honesty and let them know their feedback is valuable to you.
Natural Conversation Flow
The Appreciation Zone
The Support Zone
The Connection Zone
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
Don't Get Defensive
Avoid becoming defensive or dismissive of their feedback. Their perspective is valuable and valid.
Avoid Making It About You
Focus on understanding their perspective rather than defending your actions or making excuses.
Don't Ignore Their Feedback
Take their feedback seriously and use it to improve your parenting and relationship with them.