20 Questions

Questions to Ask Your Siblings

Meaningful questions to deepen your relationship with your siblings and create stronger family bonds through genuine conversation.

1

What's your favorite childhood memory of us together?

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Why this works

Brings back positive shared experiences and strengthens your bond through nostalgia.

2

What's something you've always wanted to tell me but never have?

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Why this works

Creates space for honest communication and helps address any unspoken feelings or thoughts.

3

What do you think our parents did really well in raising us?

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Why this works

Reflects on family dynamics and helps you understand each other's perspectives on your upbringing.

4

What's something you're proud of that I might not know about?

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Why this works

Allows them to share achievements or growth that you might have missed and shows you care about their life.

5

How do you think we're different from each other, and how are we similar?

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Why this works

Helps you understand each other better and appreciate both your differences and commonalities.

6

What's something you wish I understood better about you?

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Why this works

Gives them a chance to share their perspective and helps you see them more clearly.

7

What's your favorite thing about our family?

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Why this works

Celebrates your family's strengths and helps you appreciate what you have together.

8

What's something you're struggling with right now that I could help with?

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Why this works

Shows you care about their wellbeing and offers support for their current challenges.

9

What's a goal you're working toward that excites you?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their aspirations and helps you understand what motivates them.

10

What's something you've learned about yourself recently?

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Why this works

Encourages self-reflection and helps you understand their personal growth and development.

11

What's your favorite way we spend time together?

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Why this works

Helps you understand what activities they value most and plan future quality time together.

12

What's something you wish we could do together that we haven't?

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Why this works

Opens up possibilities for new shared experiences and adventures.

13

What's a challenge you've overcome that you're proud of?

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Why this works

Allows them to share their resilience and helps you understand their strength and determination.

14

What's something you appreciate about me?

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Why this works

Creates positive reinforcement and helps you understand what they value about your relationship.

15

What's your biggest hope for our relationship?

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Why this works

Helps you understand their vision for your sibling bond and what they want to build together.

16

What's something from our childhood that still makes you laugh?

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Why this works

Brings joy and humor to your relationship through shared funny memories.

17

What's a quality you admire in me?

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Why this works

Creates positive connection and helps you understand what they respect about you.

18

What's something you're looking forward to in the next year?

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Why this works

Shows interest in their future and helps you understand their current priorities and excitement.

19

What's a tradition or ritual you'd like us to start together?

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Why this works

Creates opportunities for new shared experiences and strengthens your bond through regular connection.

20

What's something you're grateful for in our relationship?

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Why this works

Fosters appreciation and helps you both recognize the value of your sibling bond.

Building Stronger Sibling Relationships

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Creating Safe Space for Conversation

Choose the Right Time and Place

Pick a comfortable, private setting where you can talk without interruptions. Avoid times when either of you is stressed or distracted.

Be Genuinely Curious

Ask questions because you truly want to know, not because you feel you should. Authentic interest creates deeper connections.

Listen Without Judgment

Create a safe space where they can share honestly without fear of criticism or unsolicited advice.

Effective Conversation Starters

Memory and Nostalgia

Share favorite childhood memories
Discuss family traditions and rituals
Remember funny or meaningful moments
Reflect on how you've both grown and changed

Current Life and Goals

Ask about current challenges and successes
Discuss future goals and aspirations
Share what you're learning about yourself
Talk about relationships and personal growth

Relationship Building

Express appreciation and gratitude
Ask about their perspective on your relationship
Discuss ways to spend more quality time together
Share what you value about each other

Deepening Your Connection

Share Your Own Answers

Reciprocity builds connection. When you ask a question, be prepared to share your own answer to create mutual vulnerability.

Follow Up on Their Answers

Show you're listening by asking follow-up questions or referencing their previous answers in future conversations.

Create Regular Check-ins

Establish a routine of meaningful conversations, whether weekly calls or monthly coffee dates, to maintain connection.

Further Reading

"Siblings Without Rivalry" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
"The Sibling Effect" by Jeffrey Kluger
"Adult Sibling Relationships" by Geoffrey Greif

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