20 Questions

Questions to Ask Your Son's Girlfriend

Thoughtful questions to get to know your son's girlfriend, understand their relationship, and build meaningful connections.

1

What do you enjoy doing in your free time and what are your hobbies?

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Why this works

Reveals her interests and personality, helping you understand what she values and how she spends her time.

2

What are your career goals and what are you passionate about professionally?

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Why this works

Shows her ambitions and values, helping you understand her drive and what she wants to achieve in life.

3

What's your family like and what are your relationships with your parents and siblings?

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Why this works

Reveals her family background and shows how she relates to family members, which can indicate her values and relationship patterns.

4

What do you like most about my son and what drew you to him?

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Why this works

Shows her perspective on your son and reveals what qualities she values in him and their relationship.

5

What are your favorite memories together and what do you enjoy doing as a couple?

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Why this works

Reveals their relationship dynamics and shows what activities and experiences they share and value together.

6

What are your thoughts on marriage and family, and what are your long-term goals?

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Why this works

Shows her views on commitment and family, helping you understand her values and future plans.

7

What are your favorite foods and do you enjoy cooking or trying new restaurants?

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Why this works

Reveals her food preferences and shows whether she enjoys cooking or dining out, which can be important for family gatherings.

8

What are your favorite books, movies, or TV shows and what do you enjoy reading or watching?

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Why this works

Shows her entertainment preferences and reveals her interests and what she finds engaging or entertaining.

9

What are your travel experiences and where would you like to go in the future?

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Why this works

Reveals her sense of adventure and shows what places she's been to and where she wants to explore.

10

What are your thoughts on children and parenting, and what are your views on raising kids?

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Why this works

Shows her perspective on family and children, helping you understand her values and approach to parenting.

11

What are your favorite holidays and traditions, and how do you like to celebrate?

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Why this works

Reveals her cultural background and shows what traditions and celebrations are important to her.

12

What are your thoughts on religion and spirituality, and what role does faith play in your life?

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Why this works

Shows her spiritual beliefs and values, helping you understand her worldview and what guides her decisions.

13

What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind, and how do you handle stress?

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Why this works

Reveals her coping strategies and shows what activities help her relax and manage stress.

14

What are your thoughts on money and finances, and how do you approach budgeting and saving?

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Why this works

Shows her financial values and reveals her approach to money management and financial planning.

15

What are your favorite ways to stay healthy and active, and what's your approach to wellness?

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Why this works

Reveals her health values and shows what activities and habits she prioritizes for her wellbeing.

16

What are your thoughts on education and learning, and what are your educational goals?

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Why this works

Shows her commitment to learning and reveals what she values about education and personal growth.

17

What are your favorite ways to give back to the community, and what causes are important to you?

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Why this works

Reveals her values and shows what causes and community service she's passionate about.

18

What are your thoughts on communication and conflict resolution, and how do you handle disagreements?

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Why this works

Shows her communication style and reveals how she approaches conflict and problem-solving in relationships.

19

What are your favorite ways to spend time with friends, and what do you value in friendships?

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Why this works

Reveals her social values and shows what she looks for in friendships and how she maintains relationships.

20

What are your thoughts on the future and what are your hopes and dreams?

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Why this works

Shows her aspirations and reveals what she hopes to achieve and experience in the years ahead.

Best Practices for Getting to Know Your Son's Girlfriend

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Be Genuinely Interested

Show authentic interest in her answers and ask follow-up questions that demonstrate you want to understand her better.

Create a Comfortable Environment

Make her feel welcome and comfortable, and avoid asking questions that might make her feel judged or uncomfortable.

Listen Without Judgment

Listen to her answers without making assumptions or judgments, and show respect for her perspectives and values.

Question Sequences

The Getting to Know You Sequence

1
What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
2
What are your career goals?
3
What's your family like?
4
What do you like most about my son?

The Values and Future Planning Sequence

1
What are your thoughts on marriage and family?
2
What are your thoughts on children and parenting?
3
What are your thoughts on religion and spirituality?
4
What are your hopes and dreams for the future?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Ask Too Many Personal Questions

Avoid asking overly personal or intrusive questions that might make her feel uncomfortable or judged.

Avoid Making Assumptions

Don't assume you know her background or values based on her appearance or your son's descriptions.

Don't Compare Her to Others

Avoid comparing her to your son's previous girlfriends or other people you know, as this can create unnecessary pressure.

Conversation Templates

The Relationship Building

1
Step 1: Start with light, friendly questions
2
Step 2: Show interest in her interests and goals
3
Step 3: Ask about her relationship with your son
4
Step 4: Discuss shared values and future plans

The Family Integration

1
Step 1: Learn about her family background
2
Step 2: Understand her values and beliefs
3
Step 3: Discuss family traditions and holidays
4
Step 4: Plan for future family interactions

Further Reading

"The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman
"Boundaries in Dating" by Henry Cloud
"The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm
"How to Talk So Teens Will Listen" by Adele Faber

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