Questions to Ask Your Wedding Coordinator
These are questions to ask a wedding coordinator whether you are still choosing one, working with the one you hired, or relying on the one who came with your venue. If the person across the table is a wedding planner, building the wedding as well as running it, one group is for them alone. The 66 questions run in six groups: the basics of who they are and what they do, fees and the contract, full planning, the weeks before, the day itself, and what happens when something goes wrong.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Basics
Are you free on our wedding date, and how long will you hold it while we decide?
Why ask it
Nothing else on this list matters if the date is gone, so open with it. A verbal hold is a courtesy that can lapse when another couple pays, so find out exactly what secures the date and how many days you have.
Is this full planning, partial planning or day-of coordination, and what does that mean in practice for us?
Why ask it
One job title covers three very different services, and a lot of disappointment starts with this line being blurry. Have them say what they do not do. On a day-of package that list often includes finding vendors, managing the budget and most of the setup.
What is the total fee, what counts as overtime, and what gets billed on top?
Why ask it
Some coordinators charge a flat fee, some by the hour and some a percentage of the budget, so start by asking which this is. Then get the figure with travel, an assistant, a meal and a hotel night for a distant venue included, plus the hourly rate once the contracted end time has passed.
Will you be the one at our wedding, and who else from your team comes with you?
Why ask it
The person in the sales meeting is not always the person on site, so ask for names and roles and check that the contract names your lead. Ask too at what guest count, or for what kind of venue, they bring a second coordinator, since somebody has to be at the ceremony while the reception room is being finished.
How many hours are you on site on the day, and do you stay until the last guest leaves?
Why ask it
Some packages end after the cake is cut or the first dance, which leaves the late bar, the rides home and the pack-up with nobody watching them. If the coverage stops at ten and the party runs to midnight, ask who is in charge of those two hours.
How long have you been coordinating weddings, and is it your full-time work?
Why ask it
Years matter less than how recently and how often, so ask how many weddings they ran last season. Part-time is no mark against anyone, but a coordinator with a weekday job may only answer vendors in the evening, and you should know that before the final month.
How many weddings of our size and style have you run?
Why ask it
Eighty guests in a restaurant and two hundred in a field with a tent ask very different things of a coordinator. Have them describe the one most like yours and what was hardest about it, which tells you more than a career total.
Will ours be your only wedding that weekend?
Why ask it
A Friday wedding before your Saturday can mean a tired lead and a rehearsal they have to miss. If they have two on the same date, the person you are talking to can only be at one, so ask which couple gets them and have the answer written into the contract.
Have you worked at our venue before, and if not, when will you see it?
Why ask it
Knowing the building is a large part of what you are paying for: where the outlets are, how long the room takes to turn over, which door the caterers load through, how far the parking is from the ceremony. If they have never been, a site visit before the final timeline is written should be in the plan.
Do you work for us or for the venue, and where does your job stop?
Why ask it
This one is for the coordinator who came with the venue, whose job is often the building, the catering and the venue's own staff. It may not stretch to your florist, your processional or your timeline, so have them list what they leave to you and decide who picks up each item.
Can we speak to two recent couples, and to a vendor who has worked alongside you?
Why ask it
Couples will tell you how the day felt. A photographer or caterer will tell you whether the timeline was realistic and whether the coordinator could be found when something slipped. Weddings from the past year are worth more than a favorite from long ago.
Can we see a timeline you wrote for a past wedding, with the names taken out?
Why ask it
A coordinator's portfolio is paperwork more than photographs. A sample shows whether they plan in five-minute steps or loose hours, and whether vendor arrivals, travel time and the room flip are on the page or left to memory.
Have you run a wedding with our religious or cultural traditions, and what would you need to learn?
Why ask it
Many traditions bring a fixed order of events, people who must be present for particular moments, and timings that cannot be squeezed to rescue a late schedule. Honest unfamiliarity plus an offer to sit down with your officiant or a family elder is workable. Bluffing is the thing to walk away from.
Are you insured, and can you send our venue a certificate?
Why ask it
Some venues ask every vendor for proof of liability insurance before they are allowed on site, so find out what yours requires and pass it on. What the policy has to cover differs by venue and by where you live. For a coordinator who has been asked before, sending the certificate is a routine email.
Fees and Contract
Can we take the contract home and read it before we pay anything?
Why ask it
Read it against your notes from this conversation: the lead's name, the hours, the rehearsal, the setup they agreed to. Anything you were told that is missing from the page is worth an email asking for it to be added. A coordinator who will not send the contract ahead of the deposit has told you something too.
How much is the deposit, and when is the rest due?
Why ask it
Splits and due dates differ a lot from one business to the next, so get the dates in writing and put them in your calendar. Whether a deposit can be refunded depends on the contract and on consumer law where you live, so ask how it works there before you pay it.
If we cancel or move the date, what do we get back?
Why ask it
Look for a sliding scale in the contract and a separate line about postponement, since some coordinators will move a deposit to a new date and others treat a move as a cancellation. Whatever is said in the meeting, the written clause is the one that applies, so read it slowly before anyone signs.
What would make the price go up after we have signed?
Why ask it
The usual triggers are a guest list that grows, a second location, an extra event such as a welcome dinner, or a longer day. A coordinator who names each trigger and its price is easy to budget around. An offer to sort it out nearer the time is a bill you cannot see yet.
Do you take commission or referral fees from any vendor you recommend?
Why ask it
Either answer can be fine, and it is fair to ask before you take their list. If there is a trade discount, find out whether it comes off your bill or stays with them.
If we need more help later, can we add hours or move to a bigger package, and at what price?
Why ask it
Couples who book day-of coordination sometimes find a few months in that they want someone chasing vendors as well. Getting the upgrade price now saves negotiating it later, when you are tired and they know you have no time to look elsewhere.
Is a tip expected for you or your assistants, or is it covered by the fee?
Why ask it
Customs differ by country, by region and by whether the person owns the business, so asking beats guessing. An owner may wave it away while an assistant paid by the hour would be glad of it. Either way you want to know before the envelopes are made up.
Wedding Planner
We have already booked some vendors ourselves. Will you take them on as they are?
Why ask it
Many couples have a venue and a photographer before they start looking for a planner. Some planners fold those bookings in happily and some prefer their own people, and you want to hear which before signing. Bring the contracts you hold so they can say what they would have done differently.
If you plan the whole wedding, what do you do in the first month?
Why ask it
The early weeks tend to go on the budget, the guest count and the venue, because every later choice hangs on those three. An answer that opens with colors and flowers suggests the order of work is not settled, so follow up with what they want decided before anything is booked.
What does the planning calendar look like for the months we have left, and what gets booked first?
Why ask it
With a year to go the calendar is roomy, and with four months it is a list of things to settle this week. A planner who sketches it in front of you is showing how they would spend your time. Check the sketch against dates you already know, such as when the venue wants its final payment.
Do you build the budget with us, and how do you track what has been spent against it?
Why ask it
See the sheet they use, with another couple's figures removed. You are looking for a line per vendor, deposits paid and balances due with dates, and a cushion for the costs that turn up late. The part to pin down is who gets told when a category runs over, and how soon.
How many options will you bring us for each vendor, and what are your picks based on?
Why ask it
Three florists at three price points is a choice, and one name is a referral. Find out what put each one on the list, whether that is past work together, your budget or simply who is free, and whether you can bring in someone you found yourselves.
Who signs the vendor contracts and pays the deposits, us or you?
Why ask it
In some arrangements the couple signs with each vendor directly, and in others the planner books and then bills you. It changes who a vendor answers to and who is owed money back after a cancellation. That depends on the contracts and on the law where you live, so ask how it works with them.
How do you turn what we like into a design, and what will we see before anything is ordered?
Why ask it
Some planners design the look themselves and some hand that to a florist or a stylist, so start with which it is. Then ask what arrives on paper: a mood board, a floor plan, a mock-up of one table. Approving a sample place setting costs far less than disliking sixty of them.
How involved do you expect us to be: weekly choices, or a few big approvals?
Why ask it
Couples hire a planner for opposite reasons. Some want to choose every napkin with a guide beside them, and some want to be asked five things all year. Say which you are, because a mismatch here shows up later as either silence or a full inbox.
Do you manage the guest list, the invitations and the RSVPs, or does that stay with us?
Why ask it
Tracking replies, chasing the people who have not answered and collecting meal choices is weeks of small work, and a full-planning package can still leave it out. If it is theirs, ask to see the tool they keep it in. If it is yours, get the date by which they need the final list.
Do you plan the events around the wedding, such as a rehearsal dinner, a welcome party or a brunch the next morning?
Why ask it
Guests who travel often get a whole weekend, and each extra gathering needs its own room, food and headcount. These may sit inside the fee, be priced one by one, or be something the planner does not take on, and the answer tells you how much of the weekend is still yours to arrange.
When the two of us, or our families, disagree about a decision, what do you do?
Why ask it
A year of planning can mean a parent who is paying and has opinions, or two people who picture different weddings. Have them describe a time they sat between a couple and a relative, and what they said. A planner who stays out of it altogether leaves you to referee.
How many couples are you planning for this year, and who answers us when you are at someone else's wedding?
Why ask it
A coordinator's workload bunches up around your date, while a planner's is spread across the year, so what matters is how many couples share their weekdays. If an assistant does part of the planning, you should know which part and meet them early.
Lead-up
How many weeks before the wedding do you start work on it?
Why ask it
Day-of coordination that begins the week before means someone reading your notes for the first time while you are at your busiest. Whatever the number, the useful detail is what happens in that first week: a call with you, a read of the contracts, or an introduction to each vendor.
How many meetings or calls are included, and what does an extra one cost?
Why ask it
Packages count meetings in different ways: some put the venue visit and the rehearsal in the number and some do not. Ask what each one is for, so that you do not spend one of three on introductions.
What is the best way to reach you, and how quickly do you usually reply?
Why ask it
Check whether a question in month four gets an answer or a reminder that your service has not started yet. For the last two weeks, when everything speeds up, find out whether they answer texts in the evening and whether they go quiet on days they are working someone else's wedding.
Who writes the day-of timeline, and when do we get to review it?
Why ask it
You want a date for the first draft, with enough weeks left to change it, and to know whether every vendor gets the same version. A timeline you first see the night before is one nobody has checked against the photographer's hours or the caterer's.
When do you take over talking to our vendors, and on the day, do they call you or us?
Why ask it
There should be a clear handover date after which your phone stops ringing. Ask whether they contact each vendor to confirm arrival times, and make sure your own number is not the one on the schedule.
Will you read our vendor contracts yourself before the day?
Why ask it
The contracts hold the details that break a timeline: the photographer's finish time, the band's breaks, the caterer's access hours, when the florist collects the vases. A coordinator who reads them finds the clashes on paper. One who works from your summary inherits anything you misread.
Can you recommend the vendors we still need, or is finding them up to us?
Why ask it
On a day-of package the honest answer is often a short list of names and nothing more. For each name, it is worth knowing whether the two of them have actually worked a wedding together, because a coordinator and a DJ who know each other's habits save you a meeting.
Do you run the rehearsal, and is it inside the fee?
Why ask it
Somebody has to line people up, set the walking pace and show the readers where to stand. If the coordinator is not there, the officiant or the loudest relative does it, and the coordinator meets your wedding party for the first time on the morning itself.
Will you do a final walkthrough at the venue with us, and who else should come?
Why ask it
Standing in the room settles what email cannot: where the band plugs in, which way the chairs face, where the line for the bar will form. Getting the venue manager or the caterer there in the same hour saves a week of forwarded messages.
Who orders the rentals, and who counts them in when they are delivered?
Why ask it
A missing crate of glasses is a phone call at ten in the morning and a crisis at five. Whoever signs for the delivery should be holding the order and counting against it, and it should not be you with your hair half done.
How do you plan for guests with allergies, mobility needs or small children?
Why ask it
This shows whether they think about your guests or only your schedule. Listen for specifics: a step-free route from the parking to the ceremony, a chair for a grandparent during the family photos, a quiet room for a baby, and who tells the kitchen which seat the allergy plate goes to.
What do you need from us, and by which dates?
Why ask it
Ask for the actual list: final numbers, seating chart, vendor contacts, timeline sign-off, family photo list, dietary requirements. A coordinator who can produce it on the spot has a system. One who says to just keep them posted will be chasing you in the final two weeks.
What do couples at a venue like ours most often forget?
Why ask it
This asks for their experience instead of your checklist, and the answers tend to be practical: rides at the end of the night, shade or heaters, a plan for children after nine, meals for the vendors, somewhere safe for the gifts.
On the Day
Where will you physically be during the ceremony, the photos and dinner?
Why ask it
A coordinator who knows the job can place themselves minute by minute: at the back sending people down the aisle, then ahead of you checking the reception room, then beside the caterer as plates go out. 'Overseeing everything' is not a location.
Do you set up the decor and personal items yourself, or is that someone else's job?
Why ask it
This is an easy place for expectation and contract to drift apart. Setting out place cards, hanging installations, moving furniture and lighting candles takes hours, and many coordinators supervise that work without doing it. Get the split written down item by item.
Who gives the cues at the ceremony: to the musicians, the wedding party and the officiant?
Why ask it
Three sets of people need the same signal within a few seconds, and they are usually standing in three different places. A friend with a phone can manage it at the rehearsal and lose the thread when the room is full. You want the coordinator or a named assistant.
How do you work with the DJ or band to keep the toasts, first dance and cake on time?
Why ask it
The kitchen needs warning before the speeches because hot plates cannot wait, and the photographer needs a minute's notice before anything worth a picture. If the DJ announces from a separate sheet, the coordinator is reacting to the evening instead of running it.
Will you make sure we eat, and get ten minutes alone after the ceremony?
Why ask it
Both are easy to lose: you get stopped at every table and dinner goes back untouched. A coordinator who has your plates served first, or boxes a meal for the car, has clearly watched it happen. A puzzled look at this question means you will be looking after yourselves.
On the day, who has the last word: you, the venue manager or the catering captain?
Why ask it
Each of the three can reasonably believe they run the room. A practiced coordinator will describe the split, often the venue on the building and its rules, the captain on food service, and themselves on the timeline. It helps to know whether they have met the other two before.
Do you handle final vendor payments and gratuities on the day?
Why ask it
A coordinator who does this carries labeled envelopes and settles balances so nobody has to find you mid-reception. If yours does not, the job lands on a parent or a friend, and it needs assigning well before the day.
Can you take charge of the card box, the marriage license and our phones and keys?
Why ask it
The card box is the one to worry about, since it holds cash and sits on a table near a door. Have them say when it gets moved and where it is locked up. Some coordinators will not take responsibility for cash at all, which is reasonable, but then a relative needs that job by name.
Do you bring an emergency kit, and what is in it?
Why ask it
A sewing kit, safety pins, stain remover, fashion tape, scissors, a lighter and phone chargers are the usual contents. The better follow-up is what they last used it for, because a split seam fixed in a hallway is a story only someone who was there can tell.
Who manages the transport: shuttle times, late guests and the last ride home?
Why ask it
Shuttles leave on the driver's clock, not the party's, and a guest left behind at a rural venue becomes your problem at midnight. You want someone holding the driver's number, counting heads on the last run and knowing whether a taxi will come out that far.
At the end of the night, who packs up the gifts, the rented items and our own things?
Why ask it
Rental companies may charge for anything that does not come back, and many venues want the room empty the same night. Go through it pile by pile (gifts and cards, the leftover cake, anything borrowed) and settle whether each is their team's job or your family's.
What do you still do for us after the wedding day?
Why ask it
Rentals go back, a guest's coat turns up, a vendor sends a revised invoice. Many day-of contracts end when the coordinator leaves the building, which is fine as long as you know whose Monday morning those jobs belong to.
Problems
Tell me about a wedding where something went badly wrong. What did you do?
Why ask it
Coordinators who have done this for a while have a late cake, a missing suit or a no-show story, and they tell it plainly, including the part they could not fix. Notice whether the couple in the story ever found out, since that shows how much they shield people on the day.
When the day falls behind, what do you shorten first and what do you protect?
Why ask it
You are testing judgment here, and a good answer has an order to it: trim the family photo list, cut into the drinks hour, hold the speeches until dessert, speak to the band about the last set. Tell them now what you would never give up, so that the choice is yours and not one made for you at five o'clock.
What is the rain plan, who makes the call, and by when?
Why ask it
Ask them to work backward from the ceremony: how long the move indoors takes their crew, and so what time the forecast gets its last look. Then get it on paper with one name beside the decision, yours or theirs, and a spot where guests wait while it happens.
How do you handle a family member or guest who ignores the plan?
Why ask it
Think of the uncle filming from the middle of the aisle, the relative who wants to add a speech, the guest who has had too much. Ask what they actually say to that person, and at what point, if ever, they would bring it to you.
If a vendor does not turn up, what do you do in the first half hour?
Why ask it
A good answer is a sequence: call the vendor, call their office, then start on a replacement from their own contacts while an assistant reshuffles the timeline. Settle now who can approve paying for a stand-in, because that decision should not have to find you in the middle of your photos.
What will you decide on your own on the day, and what will you bring to us?
Why ask it
Agree a line in advance, for example anything under a set amount of money or anything that leaves the ceremony unchanged. Then pick someone other than the two of you to answer the rest. Without that, small problems arrive at the head table one at a time.
If a guest is hurt or taken ill, who takes charge?
Why ask it
The answer should include a person, where the venue keeps its first-aid kit, and the exact address or gate to give the emergency services, which matters on a large property with more than one entrance. It rarely comes up, and coordinators who have thought about it answer without a pause.
If you are ill on the day, who covers, and how would they be briefed?
Why ask it
Ask for the stand-in's name and whether you can meet them, then ask what they would be handed: the timeline, the vendor sheet, your notes on family. The contract should also say what happens to your fee if nobody can step in, so look for that clause.
Working with a Coordinator
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Setting It Up Properly
Split the list across two conversations
Basics and Fees and Contract are for the first call, while you are still comparing people, and so is the Wedding Planner group if you want the planning done as well as the day run. Lead-up, On the Day and Problems work better at a second meeting or after you have booked, once the coordinator has seen your venue and your vendor list and can answer about your wedding instead of weddings in general.
Work out whether you need a wedding planner or a coordinator
A planner is hired months ahead to build the wedding: the budget, the vendors, the look of the room. A coordinator takes a wedding you have planned yourselves and runs it. Plenty of people sell both under either title, so go by the list of tasks in the contract and not by the name on the business card.
Get the answers into the contract
Setup, the rehearsal, staying until the last guest leaves, a named lead on site: anything promised in a meeting belongs in the contract or in an email they have replied to. The point is not distrust. The person on site may be an assistant who was never in the room when it was said.
Understand who the venue's coordinator works for
An in-house venue coordinator usually manages the building, the staff and the catering, and answers to the venue. Chasing your florist, running your rehearsal or holding your timeline may not be part of that job. Ask before you assume that having one means you do not need your own.
Tell everyone who is in charge
Put your coordinator's name and number in the message to the wedding party, in the vendor emails and on the timeline. If family and vendors do not know to call the coordinator, they will call you, and you will spend the morning of your wedding on the phone.
Name one decision-maker for the day
Decide in advance who answers questions if you are unreachable, and make sure it is not four people. A vendor who asks three relatives tends to get three answers.
Hand over photographs of what you want, not descriptions
For each table, sign, backdrop and personal item, give them a photo and a location. Written instructions get interpreted. A picture of the finished arrangement does not.
Give them the awkward information
Divorced parents who should not be seated together, a friend who drinks too much at parties, a grandparent who tires by eight, an ex on the guest list. A coordinator can only manage what they know about, so tell them and ask them to keep it between you.
The Handover
What to send two weeks out
- 1Final guest count, the seating chart, and a note of dietary needs by name.
- 2Every vendor's name, phone number, arrival time and what they need on site.
- 3A who's who list: wedding party, parents, readers, speakers, and anyone with a role.
- 4A photo list for the family shots, in the order you want them called.
- 5Setup photos and an inventory of everything you are bringing, plus where each item goes.
- 6Payment envelopes, balances outstanding, and who is settling what on the day.
The final call, one week before
- 1Walk the timeline hour by hour and say out loud where you will physically be.
- 2Confirm who is holding rings, marriage license, vows, speeches and phone chargers.
- 3Agree what they should decide without asking you, and what must come to you.
- 4Agree the weather deadline and who makes that call.
- 5Confirm the pack-up: who takes what home, in whose car, and who locks up.
Where It Goes Wrong
- Assuming day-of coordination includes setup. Unless the contract lists it, someone in your family may be tying chair sashes an hour before the ceremony.
- Leaving overtime out of the budget. If the party overruns, the coordinator, the band and the venue may each bill for it, and the decision gets made at midnight.
- Changing the timeline in the final week without telling the coordinator. Vendors have already been given arrival times, and a shifted ceremony can mean cold food and a missing photographer.
- Hiring a coordinator and then continuing to manage the vendors yourself. Vendors end up with two sources of instruction, and nobody knows which one is current.
- Not telling them your priorities. If the photographs matter more to you than the speeches, say so, because when time is lost something has to give.
- Choosing on price without comparing the hours. A much cheaper quote often turns out to be fewer hours on site, or one coordinator where the other sends two, so line the quotes up by coverage first.